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 Sandford1981 |
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I can tell by experience Rick that when you go to that dark place and decide to end it all nothing else is on your mind.
You can have a loving family and friends but the only thing on your mind is to end it. I can not explain why just wanting to die is all that goes on in your mind.
I watched that football focus and there was no sign of any depression with Gary Speed in fact he looked happy and Shearer said they were talking about going fishing the next week. Then on the evening he had gone the curtain must have come down very quick for him to do that as usually it's a build up of things before nothing else is on your mind and you think it's the only thing to do.
Once you have tried to end it and failed you recognise the trigger points and if you have a loving family and friends you can reach out for help.
Sadly that is not enough for some and they still go through with it.
The mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes we have no control of it.
Attempted suicide, completed suicide and suicide ideation are very delicate areas and extremely emotive for people. Again there is huge and damaging stigma around it and it makes things difficult for people to deal with and talk about. I have known people who have committed suicide, know people who have attempted to take their lives and have listened to many who have thought about it. It’s a subject I’ve studied and it never ceases to shock me when you read about the figures or personal stories. It’s the ultimate decision and power someone can have and I’ve heard it said it was the last piece of control they had and that was a comfort. For someone who is petrified of death that really resonated with me. Some take their lives not because they wanted to die necessarily but simply because they didn’t want to live like they were anymore. Again I find this incredibly touching. Kudos to you Pete (not that you’ll want credit) but having the strength to talk about it may just be the difference to someone on here. I come back to it all the time but compassion, empathy, love and non judgmental attitudes towards others would help immeasurably. |
| “I know writers who use subtext and they’re all cowards.” –Garth Marenghi |
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| Rick12 |
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I can tell by experience Rick that when you go to that dark place and decide to end it all nothing else is on your mind.
Sadly that is not enough for some and they still go through with it.
The mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes we have no control of it.
Thanks for your moving post Pete. Huge love coming my way to yours. You've got a good heart and I sense youve suffered a great deal in life. |
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| DB |
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I can tell by experience Rick that when you go to that dark place and decide to end it all nothing else is on your mind.
You can have a loving family and friends but the only thing on your mind is to end it. I can not explain why just wanting to die is all that goes on in your mind.
I watched that football focus and there was no sign of any depression with Gary Speed in fact he looked happy and Shearer said they were talking about going fishing the next week. Then on the evening he had gone the curtain must have come down very quick for him to do that as usually it's a build up of things before nothing else is on your mind and you think it's the only thing to do.
Once you have tried to end it and failed you recognise the trigger points and if you have a loving family and friends you can reach out for help.
Sadly that is not enough for some and they still go through with it.
The mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes we have no control of it.
It is very brave of you to share this and you have my deep admiration for your heartfelt unselfish post. I do hope that it may help and bring relief to others. It is good for people to know that they are not the only ones who are suffering, trying to find any sort of positive in your darkest hour is sometimes very hard when everything around you looks so bleak. I new of somebody with problems whom I tried to help. I was told in no uncertain terms by them " It's my life and I will do what I like" to which I didn't then, and don't now, have an answer. Several weeks later they passed away. |
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| KingstonMariner |
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Mental health is the sad side of the NHS, not that it is the fault of the NHS. The NHS can only do what their masters, red or blue, want/let them do.
The first problem of mental health is that no body wants to think, never mind admit they have a problem. Man up as the saying goes. So in not admitting to oneself the situation you will not go to a GP.
Where in lies the next problem. Because of the delay in attending surgery treatment starts later than it should. Treatment should be direct at the cause it is not, treatment is more than likely aimed to help people cope. The cause be it low self esteem caused by money, life expectation crisis, family problems or what ever is rarely tackled.
GP's refer to consultants who are few in number. I don't know the exact numbers involved but to put it in some context just look at the number of staff employed in the vast DPOW hospital for non mental patients and the number at the tiny Harrison House building on Peaks Lane. I often compare somebody who 'looks' normal but with health issues, to somebody in a wheelchair, on crutches, wing up or in a cast. Neither groups are well but one group are deemed by society to healthy because their problems are not seen.
If people are extremely lucky, once diagnosed with a mental health issue, they may get help through the social care system which to my knowledge have specialist sub groups. I know of a case where a patient was allocated help in this section. For arguments sake their were about 10 subsections and team 1 went. They couldn't help but was sure team 2 could, however they reassured the patient that they definitely needed help. This went on until team 10 arrived who repeated the same story advising team 1 would give the best help!
If have only scratched a small surface of the problems which our politicians want to ignore and why do they ignore it. Mainly because it is not and never will be an election issue. Why will it never be an election issue is very simple, nobody wants to admit to the stigma of a mental health problem.
This brings us nice back to the beginning of the circle. The cost to the nation must be in the billions but is never measured, apart from medication, as it doesn't exist until somebody famous commits suicide. The poor dear couldn't cope is a reason given, whereas the real reason is society in general has turned it's on the the range of mental health issues.
That’s a pretty good summation as far as my indirect experience goes. Though life is physically easier these days, and whilst people by and large have more material ‘wealth’, there seem to be more psychological pressures on people these days than say 60/70 years ago. Life seems more complex, and is changing more rapidly. A lot more pressures to conform to physical ‘ideals’ too (narcissistic). And the culture has become more individualistic. |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
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| Sandford1981 |
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Though life is physically easier these days, and whilst people by and large have more material ‘wealth’, there seem to be more psychological pressures on people these days than say 60/70 years ago. Life seems more complex, and is changing more rapidly. A lot more pressures to conform to physical ‘ideals’ too (narcissistic). And the culture has become more individualistic.
I read a wonderful book called ‘My Tuesdays with Morrie; An old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson‘ and a quote that stuck with me is in keeping with what you are saying there. “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own!” |
| “I know writers who use subtext and they’re all cowards.” –Garth Marenghi |
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| KingstonMariner |
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I read a wonderful book called ‘My Tuesdays with Morrie; An old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson‘ and a quote that stuck with me is in keeping with what you are saying there.
“The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own!”
I think many people do create their own culture. They’re usually lambasted by the main stream, and especially by the media. And by people who are close to the bottom of the pile and feel that there are fewer people below them in the pecking order than in the old days. |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| DB |
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I think many people do create their own culture. They’re usually lambasted by the main stream, and especially by the media. And by people who are close to the bottom of the pile and feel that there are fewer people below them in the pecking order than in the old days.
Having read through the last few posts, coming from 60 + years ago their were newspapers which printed NEWS, which were obviously politically biased. Today the same titles aided and abet by the tv news having little news but full of opinions. These opinions are present with such words as could, would, should etc. to the extent many believe these opinions as truth. This then leads people into false expectations of things that are/will be rarely achievable. Leading eventually to mental problems unless the truth of a matter can shown to them. Money and political aims are now what leads today's newspapers, our current GT is a prime example. This was a very good newspaper with many local news items, transferred into something which is far beyond it's hey day; a revamp of the old Grimsby Gazette. I recall when I was at school we were taught to question as to why things happen and reason them through. Today I get the impression that a school is, in simplified terms, a factory that produces varying degrees of educated teenagers, every year. If the pupil asks too many questions or do not understand they are rejected as non compliant. I say this in general terms. The culture is now inset in them because they have 'rights', and when these 'rights' are not fulfilled the young teenagers carry these problems into adult life; which manifest into mental heath problems. I feel that I have not expressed these concerns with the right words, but I hope you get the gist of what I have said. |
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| promotion plaice |
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My panic attacks and anxiety stemmed from my childhood.
My mother has suffered with mental illness on and off for most of her life although it's calming down now she is in her eighties.
She was sectioned many times when I was a child and beyond which scarred my dad and I pretty bad.
At one point my late father wouldn't go anywhere without his bike so he could rush back home if panic set in bless him.
Our GP's at the time didn't understand mental heath and told us basically to man up and get on with it, which wasn't what we needed so we moved to a specialist that helped my dad and I immensely.
I could write a book about it, she drove our Austin Allegro onto the middle of Hewitt's Circus roundabout one time and disappeared into the night.
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| Sandford1981 |
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Having read through the last few posts, coming from 60 + years ago their were newspapers which printed NEWS, which were obviously politically biased. Today the same titles aided and abet by the tv news having little news but full of opinions. These opinions are present with such words as could, would, should etc. to the extent many believe these opinions as truth.
This then leads people into false expectations of things that are/will be rarely achievable. Leading eventually to mental problems unless the truth of a matter can shown to them. Money and political aims are now what leads today's newspapers, our current GT is a prime example. This was a very good newspaper with many local news items, transferred into something which is far beyond it's hey day; a revamp of the old Grimsby Gazette.
I recall when I was at school we were taught to question as to why things happen and reason them through. Today I get the impression that a school is, in simplified terms, a factory that produces varying degrees of educated teenagers, every year. If the pupil asks too many questions or do not understand they are rejected as non compliant. I say this in general terms.
The culture is now inset in them because they have 'rights', and when these 'rights' are not fulfilled the young teenagers carry these problems into adult life; which manifest into mental heath problems.
I feel that I have not expressed these concerns with the right words, but I hope you get the gist of what I have said.
I’ve heard it said or implied that true contentment occurs when our thoughts, feelings and behaviours align to at least a minimum degree. From an early age we are embowed by outside influence and have conditions of worth imprinted on us mainly by parenting, institutions and society. It’s very easy to create a negative self image based upon what we hear, see and read which is bad news (pun intended) in today’s climate. We live in an age in which news is 24 hours and we spend large amounts of our time connected in some way, shape or form. With the birth of (anti) social media, it gave a voice to millions of people who perhaps shouldn’t have a platform. The advent of the internet and phones has removed the barrier that speaking face to face protected. Anything, everything and a lot of the time hateful things are espoused by racist Dave down the road or gossip mongering Karen up the street, bigoted Tommy in Reading or angry and bitter sally from south Shields on some inane talk show. Multiple kp that across every person and country across the globe and it’s all encompassing. Opinions have replaced facts and popularity has overtaken good moral standing. We’re so busy being depressed about our pasts and anxious about our futures that we’re forgetting the here and now. We’re being force fed consumerism to the point we cannot be fulfilled unless we have the latest mobile, car or swanky pad. The system is set up that way because a satisfied and contented person isn’t buying and consuming. Our instant, constant and relentless 24/7/365 lifestyles are not conducive to widespread good health and hence why mental health problems are so pervasive. It’s a sad state of affairs. It’s a bit of a ramble granted but I feel better! 😂 |
| “I know writers who use subtext and they’re all cowards.” –Garth Marenghi |
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| KingstonMariner |
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Having read through the last few posts, coming from 60 + years ago their were newspapers which printed NEWS, which were obviously politically biased. Today the same titles aided and abet by the tv news having little news but full of opinions. These opinions are present with such words as could, would, should etc. to the extent many believe these opinions as truth.
This then leads people into false expectations of things that are/will be rarely achievable. Leading eventually to mental problems unless the truth of a matter can shown to them. Money and political aims are now what leads today's newspapers, our current GT is a prime example. This was a very good newspaper with many local news items, transferred into something which is far beyond it's hey day; a revamp of the old Grimsby Gazette.
I recall when I was at school we were taught to question as to why things happen and reason them through. Today I get the impression that a school is, in simplified terms, a factory that produces varying degrees of educated teenagers, every year. If the pupil asks too many questions or do not understand they are rejected as non compliant. I say this in general terms.
The culture is now inset in them because they have 'rights', and when these 'rights' are not fulfilled the young teenagers carry these problems into adult life; which manifest into mental heath problems.
I feel that I have not expressed these concerns with the right words, but I hope you get the gist of what I have said.
I think you have explained it well. I have two daughters still at school, one at uni and one son who graduated last year. I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of current education. I have to say it’s better on the whole than it was in my day (68-81). I don’t think them having expectations of rights causes them problems any more than being fed low expectations, but I see where you’re coming from. I think my girls are fully aware that the world isn’t fair so I don’t think that will cause a particular problem. Every generation has issues where they feel the need to assert their rights. I’ve also worked with many young people (as young colleagues) and I have to say that on the whole they are much better prepared for the world of modern work. IMO it’s other pressures that are causing mental ill health in young people. Despite getting a better education, school can be more stressful (too much testing), other kids can be arseholes, financial worries, social media, individualism.....globalisation means that they are competing for work against talented, hard-working people from around the world*. I can see it happening in my career and thank my lucky stars I am the age I am and have experience and have English as my mother tongue, but those advantages are likely to diminish. * and I don’t think that’s a genie that can be put back in the bottle |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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Sandford1981
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