Mental Health

Bump. I hope everybody is ok, but you can always send me a PM if not.

Quoted from LH

Can anyone recommend a SAD lamp? I’d like to have one with the alarm clock wake up function if possible and don’t want to spend a fortune if possible. Some of the more expensive ones I’ve seen don’t appear to be bright enough to be used for light therapy.

Bit late so apologies, but have a look at the Lumie lamps.  Not sure if they have the strength to counter SAD but in terms of the wake-up effect, I swear by mine.  

Only just stumbled upon this thread but read it through and so much resonated with me.  It wasn't quite a cathartic moment as I'm well aware that in the past I've struggled with my mental health and generally my attitude towards myself.  As part of that and as part of the healing process I had both the time (especially during lockdown) to educate myself more on the issue but also reflect on why it affected me in such a way.

I don't think there's a catch all cure.  The black dog is always there, lurking away.  It's just how you can keep him at arms length and recognise when he's sniffing a bit too close for comfort.  

Couple of things I've learned over the years:

1) Use your coping mechanisms as part of a routine.  Don't react.  I used to get angry and frustrated, so I'd go for a run or the gym.  Now I use exercise as part of ongoing therapy.  My body knows it needs stimulating to keep my mind content, so I allow that to happen.  For some that can lead to addiction so remember to keep that in check.  Personally I get twitchy if I don't exercise every day, that's risky and I know that.  But it's a risk I'm prepared to live with.  I've had to learn the downfalls of that of late too as I've not long had ACL surgery which severely restricted that option.

2) The fresh air is the best medicine you can ever get.  Sun, wind, snow, rain...it doesn't matter.  You never get outside and feel worse for it.  In fact the best walks I've had have come when it's lashed it down for the duration.  Skin is waterproof.

3) Learn when your vulnerable and don't be afraid to test your limits.  It sounds counter-intuitive but don't be frightened of having a bit of a mood or feeling excrement.  Cliche but it really is ok to not be ok.

4) Talk.  Simple, yet the one thing we don't do.

5) Read.  Doesn't matter what you read, but shut off from the world when it gets too much and escape it all.  TV doesn't do it, you're too distracted and can half-watch-half-worry.  Get into a book and it'll take you somewhere else.

6) Make you the priority.  Of course, be kind to others but look out for No. 1.  You're the focus and you need to make sure that you're at your best.  There's a satisfaction in making others happy, but there's a dangerous pattern when you do it to your own detriment.  

7) Vitamin D - If you can't get out into the sunlight then at least take some supplements.  It really does help.

8.) Eating/Drinking - There's nothing wrong with treating yourself.  But do you ever feel better after a takeaway, or a few scoops?  Make them the treat rather than the answer.  If nothing else you enjoy them more knowing it is a treat.  But your body will feel crap and lethargic for it the more you do it, which just feeds that vicious cycle.

As others have said, always here to talk if anyone wants to drop me a message.  Hope all (those who've shared and those who just read) are either in a good place or on their way to one.  

^^
Good post with some good advice.

I have come to many of the same conclusions myself.

Quoted from diehardmariner

Bit late so apologies, but have a look at the Lumie lamps.  Not sure if they have the strength to counter SAD but in terms of the wake-up effect, I swear by mine.  

Only just stumbled upon this thread but read it through and so much resonated with me.  It wasn't quite a cathartic moment as I'm well aware that in the past I've struggled with my mental health and generally my attitude towards myself.  As part of that and as part of the healing process I had both the time (especially during lockdown) to educate myself more on the issue but also reflect on why it affected me in such a way.

I don't think there's a catch all cure.  The black dog is always there, lurking away.  It's just how you can keep him at arms length and recognise when he's sniffing a bit too close for comfort.  

Couple of things I've learned over the years:

1) Use your coping mechanisms as part of a routine.  Don't react.  I used to get angry and frustrated, so I'd go for a run or the gym.  Now I use exercise as part of ongoing therapy.  My body knows it needs stimulating to keep my mind content, so I allow that to happen.  For some that can lead to addiction so remember to keep that in check.  Personally I get twitchy if I don't exercise every day, that's risky and I know that.  But it's a risk I'm prepared to live with.  I've had to learn the downfalls of that of late too as I've not long had ACL surgery which severely restricted that option.

2) The fresh air is the best medicine you can ever get.  Sun, wind, snow, rain...it doesn't matter.  You never get outside and feel worse for it.  In fact the best walks I've had have come when it's lashed it down for the duration.  Skin is waterproof.

3) Learn when your vulnerable and don't be afraid to test your limits.  It sounds counter-intuitive but don't be frightened of having a bit of a mood or feeling excrement.  Cliche but it really is ok to not be ok.

4) Talk.  Simple, yet the one thing we don't do.

5) Read.  Doesn't matter what you read, but shut off from the world when it gets too much and escape it all.  TV doesn't do it, you're too distracted and can half-watch-half-worry.  Get into a book and it'll take you somewhere else.

6) Make you the priority.  Of course, be kind to others but look out for No. 1.  You're the focus and you need to make sure that you're at your best.  There's a satisfaction in making others happy, but there's a dangerous pattern when you do it to your own detriment.  

7) Vitamin D - If you can't get out into the sunlight then at least take some supplements.  It really does help.

8.) Eating/Drinking - There's nothing wrong with treating yourself.  But do you ever feel better after a takeaway, or a few scoops?  Make them the treat rather than the answer.  If nothing else you enjoy them more knowing it is a treat.  But your body will feel crap and lethargic for it the more you do it, which just feeds that vicious cycle.

As others have said, always here to talk if anyone wants to drop me a message.  Hope all (those who've shared and those who just read) are either in a good place or on their way to one.  

An excellant post Diehard. If I may add to No 6 I often say to those who should know "Who cares for the carer". It is not selfish to put yourself first, but as you put it you have to be in 'Top Form' youself so you are able to give others your best.

A lot of great advice in there dhm. Look after yourself. If you can get beyond internal dialogue and actually take action, you’re doing well. I struggle with this. I can see all sorts of actions I should take and I can describe them in detail but actually doing those things sometimes eludes me. Another thing I’d say is that it is really helpful, in my experience, to allow yourself to cry. I’ve found that a huge release at key pressure points. I’d warn against self medicating with alcohol. This is a huge challenge for me and needs to change. It’s ok to take each day as it comes. I’ve allowed myself to break down my situation into manageable chunks. It’s really tough when you catch yourself doing something mundane, and your mind is saying to you ‘I don’t want to be here’. It does cause anxiety and even panic, but I think going hour to hour and reaching out to dependable friends helps here. There are also some brilliant podcasts too. The last 2 things I’d promote are - get therapy if you possibly can, and be open to medication.
Mother Nature and the outdoor world - especially scenic natural locations are free, transformative therapy.

Quoted from chaos33

A lot of great advice in there dhm. Look after yourself. If you can get beyond internal dialogue and actually take action, you’re doing well. I struggle with this. I can see all sorts of actions I should take and I can describe them in detail but actually doing those things sometimes eludes me. Another thing I’d say is that it is really helpful, in my experience, to allow yourself to cry. I’ve found that a huge release at key pressure points. I’d warn against self medicating with alcohol. This is a huge challenge for me and needs to change. It’s ok to take each day as it comes. I’ve allowed myself to break down my situation into manageable chunks. It’s really tough when you catch yourself doing something mundane, and your mind is saying to you ‘I don’t want to be here’. It does cause anxiety and even panic, but I think going hour to hour and reaching out to dependable friends helps here. There are also some brilliant podcasts too. The last 2 things I’d promote are - get therapy if you possibly can, and be open to medication.
Mother Nature and the outdoor world - especially scenic natural locations are free, transformative therapy.

This is a brilliant piece of advice and I agree wholeheartedly with it!

Yeah, definitely agree on that too.  As a society we're getting better but still absolutely shocking at even allowing men to acknowledge their mental health, for me part of that is still this notion that real men don't cry.  Absolute bullshit.  It's a human emotion to feel sad and to express as part of that.  

I went years and years without crying, despite some quite traumatic events, yet I was bizarrely proud of the fact I hadn't cried in so long.  As if my stubbornness and inability to express myself was a badge of honour.  Red flags going off all over the place and I ignored them.

Now I'm like a leaky tap.  Sometimes it's just a little flutter but other times it's like Niagara Falls. Your body and mind are vessels, they can only take so much before they have to offload somewhere.  

I try to see it like a hosepipe.  If you've got the tap pumping water in and the hose gun open, that's good.  The water is running through the pipe and you're allowing it to release.  But rather than letting it fire through at high pressure, why not put lots of little holes in the pipe so the water can escape earlier and the pressure never builds up so high.  If some of those holes get filled in, perhaps even temporarily, the other holes can help to keep the pressure low and water can still escape.

The act and release of emotionally crying is psychologically cathartic but it has physiological benefits too.
I’m soft as muck, sentimental, hyper sensitive and with anxiety on top too it’s a perfect storm. My natural reflex is to fight it but that’s my upbringing and generation. It’s been proven that emotional tears remove stress hormones and other ‘baddies’ so, not crying because men / boys don’t is literally toxic masculinity at its worst!
It is getting better for sure but it’s too late for some and not going nearly quick enough for my liking.

I read about sorting problems out which was really to do with business. I'm mentioning this as, to me, the principle is the same for mental issues and I still use it today in my everyday life.

Make a list, preferably written, of the things that are worrying you.
Rearrange the list in order of importance, in other words the thing that is stressing you out most.
Then forget about all the others until you have come to terms with it. Once sorted move onto the next.

The next day things may happen overnight, or you see problems from a different angle, so repeat the process.

In doing this you will eliminate your biggest worry.

Also remember the 3 box's:-

1/Do what you can yourself
2/ Ask for help, IT IS NOT A SIGN of WEAKNESS ( if your car or boiler etc. breaks down you get help)
3/ If 1 & 2 don't work then forget it as nothing is going to cure the problem.

Yep, easier said than done, but it works especially step 3.

Tried and tested most days by me. I suffer from a syndrome of illness's which total over 40, not all at once but pain and stress/tension/anxiety is there every day plus a few of the others. Painkillers don'twork, nor do the other drugs they offered unless i wanted to become a 'zombie' and have no life.

As some on here know I was pretty aggressive during my first few months on The Fishy. I have now taught myself to understand, most of the time, that we are all different and that everybody has a right to express their views whether I think their right or wrong, I also try to avoid the 'wind up' merchants.

To me mental health is always evolving and it is the way we deal with it that counts. The NHS is great but you only get 10 mins or so and have to wait and fight to get that. If you can pay privately, no I don't like the idea of paying twice, but you get help a lot quicker ( usualy within days ) and you can self refer ( Spire Hull not St Hughs ).

I haven't had to use private care but I have for my wife and found them excellant.

I sincerely hope this helps somebody out there to find you are not alone, you are one of many thousands, which is why I always say that if you need to talk send me a PM.

Quoted from diehardmariner

Yeah, definitely agree on that too.  As a society we're getting better but still absolutely shocking at even allowing men to acknowledge their mental health, for me part of that is still this notion that real men don't cry.  Absolute bullshit.  It's a human emotion to feel sad and to express as part of that.  

I went years and years without crying, despite some quite traumatic events, yet I was bizarrely proud of the fact I hadn't cried in so long.  As if my stubbornness and inability to express myself was a badge of honour.  Red flags going off all over the place and I ignored them.

Now I'm like a leaky tap.  Sometimes it's just a little flutter but other times it's like Niagara Falls. Your body and mind are vessels, they can only take so much before they have to offload somewhere.  

I try to see it like a hosepipe.  If you've got the tap pumping water in and the hose gun open, that's good.  The water is running through the pipe and you're allowing it to release.  But rather than letting it fire through at high pressure, why not put lots of little holes in the pipe so the water can escape earlier and the pressure never builds up so high.  If some of those holes get filled in, perhaps even temporarily, the other holes can help to keep the pressure low and water can still escape.

I went years and years without crying, despite some quite traumatic events, yet I was bizarrely proud of the fact I hadn't cried in so long.  As if my stubbornness and inability to express myself was a badge of honour.  Red flags going off all over the place and I ignored them.

This was me for most of my life weddings, funerals, sad movies I would of rather died than be seen crying, sometimes I would struggle to hold back but then I’d just leave the situation.

Watched a Disney movie with the kids at the weekend and the kids were in a bit of shock I think when they noticed my tears 😂
Feels so much better to just be myself and I know there’s no shame in natural emotion.

Great advice by the way in your earlier post👍