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SILLY JOKES

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Civvy at last	April 1, 2009, 11:30am
Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 11,476 Posts Per Day: 2.03 Reputation: 74.47% Rep Score: +36 / -13 Approval: +12,241 Gold Stars: 136	I've just got back from a job interview. One of the questions they asked me was "If you could have dinner with any one person alive or dead who would you choose" I said. "That's easy, the alive one"   The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football'
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Civvy at last	April 30, 2009, 9:03pm
Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 11,476 Posts Per Day: 2.03 Reputation: 74.47% Rep Score: +36 / -13 Approval: +12,241 Gold Stars: 136	Think I've got that Swine flu.  I keep coming out in rashers   I rang that NHS number for regarding the swine flu.  What a waste of time that was......... ALL I GOT WAS CRACKLING   The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football'
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barralad	April 30, 2009, 9:48pm
Mariners Trust Posts: 13,810 Posts Per Day: 2.31 Reputation: 79.47% Rep Score: +85 / -22 Approval: +9,301 Gold Stars: 127	Quoted from Civvy at last Think I've got that Swine flu.  I keep coming out in rashers   I rang that NHS number for regarding the swine flu.  What a waste of time that was......... ALL I GOT WAS CRACKLING   It's Sow painful. However help is at hand from a new oinkment The aim of argument or discussion should not be victory but progress. Joseph Joubert.
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mike the mariner	June 1, 2009, 2:14am
Fine Wine Drinker Posts: 1,332 Posts Per Day: 0.23 Approval: -2	A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks." He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house."
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Les Brechin	June 3, 2009, 5:12pm
Moderator Posts: 23,822 Posts Per Day: 4.16 Reputation: 82.43% Rep Score: +114 / -24 Location: Grimsby Approval: +12,730 Gold Stars: 174	Renault and Ford have got together to build a car to beat the credit crunch. It will be based on the Clio & the Taurus. The all new Clitaurus will be available in pink and comes with optional furry dash. [img]https://news.images.itv.com/image/file/402260/image_update_img.jpg[/img] OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16613.24 LATEST DONATION - FROM DONATION FROM THE FISHY FORUM - AUG 2023 AMOUNT RAISED £170.00
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Civvy at last	June 3, 2009, 5:15pm
Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 11,476 Posts Per Day: 2.03 Reputation: 74.47% Rep Score: +36 / -13 Approval: +12,241 Gold Stars: 136	Quoted from Les Brechin Renault and Ford have got together to build a car to beat the credit crunch. It will be based on the Clio & the Taurus. The all new Clitaurus will be available in pink and comes with optional furry dash. F*ck me,  I bet every C unt will have one.   The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football'
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mike the mariner	June 3, 2009, 5:42pm
Fine Wine Drinker Posts: 1,332 Posts Per Day: 0.23 Approval: -2	At least it will be easy to find.
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theicenian	June 3, 2009, 5:42pm
Season Ticket Holder Posts: 11,167 Posts Per Day: 1.98 Reputation: 81.92% Rep Score: +60 / -13 Approval: -1	My next door neighbour went round to his Gran's house the other day and in the corner of her frontroom she has a Hammond organ.On it was a goldfish bowl full of water with a condom floating in it. He couldn't resist asking Gran what it was all about. "Ah"says Gran "I found this packet lying on the pavement and read the instructions. It works,or it has done upto now."  "What works Gran" asks my neighbour. "well it said on the packet place on organ keep moist prevents disease"
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mike the mariner	June 3, 2009, 8:25pm
Fine Wine Drinker Posts: 1,332 Posts Per Day: 0.23 Approval: -2	There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy, but then happy got out so they started feeling grumpy instead!
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Civvy at last	June 4, 2009, 3:44pm
Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 11,476 Posts Per Day: 2.03 Reputation: 74.47% Rep Score: +36 / -13 Approval: +12,241 Gold Stars: 136	Quoted from mike the mariner There were 7 dwarfs in a shower all feeling happy, but then happy got out so they started feeling grumpy instead! So that would mean that there were 8 dwarfs in all if seven of them were feeling happy.   What Panto's did you go to fella ? The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football'
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