Hilariously inept performances

Vance Warner vs Sunderland (03.03.96) always springs to mind.

Sunderland’s first goal - Fickling(?) gets beaten in the air. Meanwhile Warner, in a decent position, inexplicably hops up as if to do a manager style air head, the ball bounces down to the striker and Warner doesn’t bother to try to block the cross and just lets him poke it across to Kevin Ball for a tap-in. 0-1. Look at Lever’s face. Just look at his face.

2nd goal [00:48]. That goal. Hopeful forward ball by Ball, Warner hustles back and dives crazily at Paul Crichton’s feet, Warner loses his head figuratively and literally and Craig Russell scuffs home into the empty net. In the aftermath, it almost looks like Vance is trying to force the turf to open up so he can just disappear.

3rd goal. Not Warner’s fault but because it wasn’t it was. Phil Gray from 35 yards. Crichton more like Kryten from Red Dwarf.

4th goal. Somehow Warner lets Ball wrap his foot around the ball in a 95:05 challenge in Ball’s favour. Michael Bridges does the rest. 0-4. In a game where Town created the better chances.

[url]https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=53&v=uJBrOHhjTM4&embeds_euri=https%3A%2F%2Frokerreport.sbnation.com%2F&source_ve_path=MTM5MTE3LDEzOTExNywyMzg1MQ&feature=emb_title[/url]

Quoted from 140381

There’s Beagrie! Knew he’d feature.

At one of the games when he got a start, he played on the left wing and only moved 10 yards either side of the halfway line.  Fans were shouting "Get him off" early in the first half.

Joel Grant’s 10 minute cameo at Halifax in Jan last year

Me and a mate in tears of later at Iffy Onuora at home to Wrexham in 03/04 season think we lost 3-1 or 3-0?

It quickly went wrong and i was apparent by the 20th minute the game had got away from us, he played the game with 50p feet. Seem to remember him going for a header from a corner and it going backwards, seemed to bend space and time. Every time he touched the ball it went away from him. Was calamitous and it was round about things were starting to unravel quick for him, don't think it was too long after we had signed him permanently following his loan spell, don't think he played much longer and we released him.


- Edit

It was his final game and was released the following month

Turned out to be his final season in football, started it with Sheffield United, loaned to Wycombe between August and September. Loaned by Town between September and October, released by Sheffield United and signed by Town as a free agent in October.
Released by Town in the February and signs for Tranmere as a free agent. Released by Tranmere in March, signs for Huddersfield....scores at Sincil Bank on the way to knock Lincoln out of the play-offs   Released in May....signed for Walsall in pre-season but retires before the next season begins.

Ironically he was decent at Swindon and Gillingham back in the day.

Quoted from bradzmilne

Lee Ridley away at York (2011-ish).

The definition of “legs have gone”.

That was sad and painful to watch close up, as you couldn't fault his effort

Quoted from blundellpork

There was a home game c 2012 when Derek Niven gave the ball away with practically every pass. I seem to recall one point when he put his head in his hands in complete despair. I think the crowd felt sorry for the poor fella more than anything else.

that's what i'm looking for!

Sisay's substitute performance in the Holloway/Covid season was mouth dropping

Quoted from ska face

Nick Colgan suffered genuine, 100% headloss towards the end of that 09/10 season. Can’t remember who we were playing but he’d already chucked one in, then after ironic cheers from the crowd at him saving a pea roller he turned around to the Pontoon and started joining in. Bloke was jumping up and down pumping his fists shouting “yaaaayy! yaaayyy!”  Absolute lunatic.

Never been so let down by a signing in my life. A top, top league two signing on paper, yet on grass was one of the worst town keepers we’ve had in my lifetime

Quoted from forza ivano

that's what i'm looking for!

Sisay's substitute performance in the Holloway/Covid season was mouth dropping

Aye Sissay, he may as well have been a wall, the ball just bounced off him. Hilarious that we loaned him to Clee Town and he struggled there

Quoted from forza ivano

that's what i'm looking for!

Sisay's substitute performance in the Holloway/Covid season was mouth dropping

Am I right in thinking he had no number on his shirt, giving him the full competition winner look?  

Probably already mentioned, but captain fantastic Matt Heywood at home to Darlo in 2008. Dragged off after 34 minutes with us 2 down (with goals by past and future Mariners).

https://www.11v11.com/matches/grimsby-town-v-darlington-01-november-2008-283281/