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World, fúck off

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xploreowl
April 21, 2010, 6:09pm
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Quoted from Poojah
Now I’m as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this twĂĄt of a football club, but after this afternoon’s latest capitulation it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee – we’re fĂșcked. Down. Goners. Non-league. To be honest I didn’t know how it would affect me, it’s not like it hasn’t been coming, but tonight I just feel absolutely deflated. Absolutely fĂșcking devastated.

I can’t get away from these emotions, I just want the whole world to just fĂșck off and leave me alone. To help me come to terms with this whole mess, I’ve decided to compile a list of everyone and everything I want to fĂșck off most of all.

For starters, work can fĂșck off. If they think I’m going to be there on Monday morning they’ve got another thing coming. No way am I going in to spend time dealing with cĂșnts that I can barely stand being with when I’m in a good mood, let alone this crushing feeling of anger, frustration and outright metaphorical-kicked-in-the-bĂłllocks-ness.

Plastic Premier League fans can fĂșck off. I just spoke to my Manchester United supporting neighbour (who incidentally, has been to Old Trafford before – twice) about Town’s predicament. You know what he said? “I know how you feel; it’s like when we failed to win a trophy in ‘95”. NO IT FÚCKING WELL IS NOT!

He no longer has a face.

The girlfriend can definitely fĂșck off. Her best attempt at consolation – “I don’t know why you’re bothered; you knew they were shĂ­t anyway”. Yes love, but they’re MY shĂ­t team. They’ve been MINE for pretty much as long as I’ve been able to wipe my own ĂĄrse, and they’ll be MINE for as long as I’m alive (or at least, until I’m no longer able to wipe my own ĂĄrse). Truth is, watching my team win does things for me that no woman can. If push comes to shove and I’m horny, I can always have a wĂĄnk.

Barrow can fĂșck off. I’ve been all over the country and beyond to watch my team, but frankly I just don’t have the stomach to visit any town which makes Scunthorpe look like fĂșcking St. Tropez.

Dad, you can fĂșck off. This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this shower of shĂ­t. “Come with me to Blundell Park”, you said, “Come and support the boys”. What could I do? I was fĂșcking four, what choice did I have? Why not get me hooked on Heroin whilst you were at it? I could have gone with mum shopping for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best.

Granted, I’d have probably grown up a homosexual but surely even being simultaneously bĂșggered two guys named Seth and Quentin couldn’t hurt like this.

Seeing as we’re on the subject of homosexuality, Gok Wan can fĂșck off. No particular reason, I just plain don’t like the annoying, goggle-eyed cĂșnt.

The F.A. can fĂșck off. Not for supplying us, week-in, week- out, with inept referee after inept referee, but for imposing sensible financial rules on all clubs in League Two. How many clubs in this division have been into administration this season? Not one. How many points deducted? Not one. How the fĂșck else are we supposed to avoid relegation – footballing merit? We didn’t have to last season, so why spoil the fun now?

The World Cup can fĂșck off – I don’t care anymore.

My local pizza shop can fĂșck off. I ordered a 12” Pepperoni over an hour ago, and where the fĂșck is it? Are they trying to fĂșcking fly it to me or something?

Sky Sports can fĂșck off. Nothing personal, but there’ll be little need for me next season with no Town to be found anywhere. Ooh, Bolton versus Wolves, LIVE. I think I’ll pass...

The radio can fĂșck off. On my way home from the match, whilst driving down the M180, I caught three completely separate stations playing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean at the exact same fĂșcking time. The song’s the best part of a year old, how the fĂșck does that happen by coincidence!?

My nan’s old lucky Buddha that used to sit in her front room can fĂșck off. When I was a kid I held it in my hands and wished for Town to be in the Premier League. I meant the proper one you fat cĂșnt, not the one occupied by Histon, Eastbourne and for fĂșck’s sake, Ebbsfleet, wherever that is.

Tonight can fĂșck off. I’ve had enough of trying to cope with my emotions; the time has come for oblivion. I haven’t kept any booze in the house since an occasion known only as ‘That Night’ by myself and the missus, but suffice to say that the toilet duck and luminous blue mouthwash are looking like stronger propositions by the minute.

Most of all though, the last 10 years can fĂșck off. In that time I’ve watched my team fall from the top of the Championship into non-league nothingness. We’ve gone from one great big fĂșck up to the next without even coming up for air, and today is just the big, fĂșck off cherry on top.

One thing I’m sure of though is that we WILL be back. When it comes down to it, a football club is basically just a set of supporters, and frankly what I’ve learned in the last few years is that this one has some of the best. We’ve had to put up with some shĂ­t, haven’t we boys, but in spite of all of that the future is still bright – it’s fĂșcking black and white.

Grimsby ‘til I die...



Wednesday fan in peace, What a quality posting just about sums up how the majority of fans feel these days apart from the Grimsby till i die bit.
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Bratfud
April 21, 2010, 7:52pm
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Bradford fan in piece,

Before you tell me to f**k off, I have to say Poojah that you have summed up the feelings of many fans out there in lower league football.  I will miss your fans not coming to Valley Parade next season as you always get me smiling when your chanting “We only sing when we’re fishing”.

Best of luck for next season, at least your going to be the biggest fish in the non-league pond.

Finally, at least you have not got the mercenary Conlon draining your budget.  How that man continually gets contracts I will never know.
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Lord Sommet
April 21, 2010, 9:34pm
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Featured on a sunderland site:
http://salutsunderland.footballunited.com/2010/04/the-sinking-of-grimsby-town-poojahs-polemic/?

Which was a link from the newsnow network so no doubt the GET will be publishing it (given its on newsnow today) in about 2 weeks time.
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salut
April 21, 2010, 9:42pm
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Salut! Sunderland was delighted to reproduce it - with the retrospective consent of The Fishy.

One of our fans has called it a contender for "greatest rant of all time"

I/we wish GT well - and a speedy return, with poor old Darlo.

[url]
http://salutsunderland.FootballUNITED.com/2010/04/the-sinking-of-grimsby-town-poojahs-polemic/[/url]
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West End Saint
April 22, 2010, 10:35am
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Cracking post made me laugh all REAL Football fans have felt like this.

As a Saints fan we had some very dark days a year ago but now the future is bright in red & white keep the faith you will be back.

Good Luck from Southampton
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wycombe fan
April 22, 2010, 9:04pm
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hi, Wycombe fan here ...  just wanted to say that was brilliant! really made me laugh ( especially the buddha bit) someone stuck the link on the Wycombe site and we all loved it !
Poojah you should be running for PM !
all the best Grimsby, i actually really do hope you come straight back up..

p.s. someone should stick that on facebook and see how many fans you get.. loads i bet !!
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RonMariner
April 23, 2010, 11:51am

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It's great to see the messages of support from fans of other clubs. Seems that plenty of true fans have a soft spot for us and wish us well.

Poojah and his rants have done more to promote positive vibes about Grimsby Town than Fenty, Woods, the players and everyone else connected with the club put together.

I thought his previous rant was a one off, but to top it with this stupendous effort is incredible.

Sad that it was necessary though. But with Woods in charge I fear there may be a few more to come........
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stokie
April 23, 2010, 2:31pm
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Haha quality first post, that is wgat its all about, supporting your team through thick and thin (through thin and thinner in your case)

good luck on getting back into the league

at the moment im loving life in the prem but in a perverse kind of way im missing the lower divisions football

stoke til i die
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Andy_Lochhhead_in_the_air
April 24, 2010, 6:21pm
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Villa fan here,a thread on poojahs rant has been opened our boards.
http://www.heroesandvillains.info/discuss/viewtopic.php?t=38271
May i just say poojah if it doesnt clash with a villa game next season,im going to Tamworth v Grimsby at the Lamb.I would consider it a privilege to be able to stand in the car park outside and have you scream in my face at the top of your voice "intercourse off"! In response I would shake your hand and buy you a pint.You are truly a supporter of the highest calibre and Grimsby Town have gone right up in my estimation.By that I mean the fans,by your own admission the team at present sounds truly shite.
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happyfornow
April 24, 2010, 6:54pm
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blackpool fan in peace. brill article poojah wish i was so literate.. but do not despair, ive been there, well nearly, and look at us now! the bast-rd is in 2 or 3 years we could change places but at least mindless hope is eternal. fu-k us all
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