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World, fck off

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April 21, 2010, 6:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Poojah
Now I’m as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this twát of a football club, but after this afternoon’s latest capitulation it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee – we’re fúcked. Down. Goners. Non-league. To be honest I didn’t know how it would affect me, it’s not like it hasn’t been coming, but tonight I just feel absolutely deflated. Absolutely fúcking devastated.

I can’t get away from these emotions, I just want the whole world to just fúck off and leave me alone. To help me come to terms with this whole mess, I’ve decided to compile a list of everyone and everything I want to fúck off most of all.

For starters, work can fúck off. If they think I’m going to be there on Monday morning they’ve got another thing coming. No way am I going in to spend time dealing with cúnts that I can barely stand being with when I’m in a good mood, let alone this crushing feeling of anger, frustration and outright metaphorical-kicked-in-the-bóllocks-ness.

Plastic Premier League fans can fúck off. I just spoke to my Manchester United supporting neighbour (who incidentally, has been to Old Trafford before – twice) about Town’s predicament. You know what he said? “I know how you feel; it’s like when we failed to win a trophy in ‘95”. NO IT FÚCKING WELL IS NOT!

He no longer has a face.

The girlfriend can definitely fúck off. Her best attempt at consolation – “I don’t know why you’re bothered; you knew they were shít anyway”. Yes love, but they’re MY shít team. They’ve been MINE for pretty much as long as I’ve been able to wipe my own árse, and they’ll be MINE for as long as I’m alive (or at least, until I’m no longer able to wipe my own árse). Truth is, watching my team win does things for me that no woman can. If push comes to shove and I’m horny, I can always have a wánk.

Barrow can fúck off. I’ve been all over the country and beyond to watch my team, but frankly I just don’t have the stomach to visit any town which makes Scunthorpe look like fúcking St. Tropez.

Dad, you can fúck off. This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this shower of shít. “Come with me to Blundell Park”, you said, “Come and support the boys”. What could I do? I was fúcking four, what choice did I have? Why not get me hooked on Heroin whilst you were at it? I could have gone with mum shopping for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best.

Granted, I’d have probably grown up a homosexual but surely even being simultaneously búggered two guys named Seth and Quentin couldn’t hurt like this.

Seeing as we’re on the subject of homosexuality, Gok Wan can fúck off. No particular reason, I just plain don’t like the annoying, goggle-eyed cúnt.

The F.A. can fúck off. Not for supplying us, week-in, week- out, with inept referee after inept referee, but for imposing sensible financial rules on all clubs in League Two. How many clubs in this division have been into administration this season? Not one. How many points deducted? Not one. How the fúck else are we supposed to avoid relegation – footballing merit? We didn’t have to last season, so why spoil the fun now?

The World Cup can fúck off – I don’t care anymore.

My local pizza shop can fúck off. I ordered a 12” Pepperoni over an hour ago, and where the fúck is it? Are they trying to fúcking fly it to me or something?

Sky Sports can fúck off. Nothing personal, but there’ll be little need for me next season with no Town to be found anywhere. Ooh, Bolton versus Wolves, LIVE. I think I’ll pass...

The radio can fúck off. On my way home from the match, whilst driving down the M180, I caught three completely separate stations playing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean at the exact same fúcking time. The song’s the best part of a year old, how the fúck does that happen by coincidence!?

My nan’s old lucky Buddha that used to sit in her front room can fúck off. When I was a kid I held it in my hands and wished for Town to be in the Premier League. I meant the proper one you fat cúnt, not the one occupied by Histon, Eastbourne and for fúck’s sake, Ebbsfleet, wherever that is.

Tonight can fúck off. I’ve had enough of trying to cope with my emotions; the time has come for oblivion. I haven’t kept any booze in the house since an occasion known only as ‘That Night’ by myself and the missus, but suffice to say that the toilet duck and luminous blue mouthwash are looking like stronger propositions by the minute.

Most of all though, the last 10 years can fúck off. In that time I’ve watched my team fall from the top of the Championship into non-league nothingness. We’ve gone from one great big fúck up to the next without even coming up for air, and today is just the big, fúck off cherry on top.

One thing I’m sure of though is that we WILL be back. When it comes down to it, a football club is basically just a set of supporters, and frankly what I’ve learned in the last few years is that this one has some of the best. We’ve had to put up with some shít, haven’t we boys, but in spite of all of that the future is still bright – it’s fúcking black and white.

Grimsby ‘til I die...

Wednesday fan in peace, What a quality posting just about sums up how the majority of fans feel these days apart from the Grimsby till i die bit.
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April 21, 2010, 7:52pm Report to Moderator
Coke Drinker
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Bradford fan in piece,

Before you tell me to f**k off, I have to say Poojah that you have summed up the feelings of many fans out there in lower league football.  I will miss your fans not coming to Valley Parade next season as you always get me smiling when your chanting “We only sing when we’re fishing”.

Best of luck for next season, at least your going to be the biggest fish in the non-league pond.

Finally, at least you have not got the mercenary Conlon draining your budget.  How that man continually gets contracts I will never know.
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Lord Sommet
April 21, 2010, 9:34pm Report to Moderator
Never Forgive, Never Forget
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Featured on a sunderland site:

Which was a link from the newsnow network so no doubt the GET will be publishing it (given its on newsnow today) in about 2 weeks time.
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April 21, 2010, 9:42pm Report to Moderator
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Salut! Sunderland was delighted to reproduce it - with the retrospective consent of The Fishy.

One of our fans has called it a contender for "greatest rant of all time"

I/we wish GT well - and a speedy return, with poor old Darlo.

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West End Saint
April 22, 2010, 10:35am Report to Moderator
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Cracking post made me laugh all REAL Football fans have felt like this.

As a Saints fan we had some very dark days a year ago but now the future is bright in red & white keep the faith you will be back.

Good Luck from Southampton
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wycombe fan
April 22, 2010, 9:04pm Report to Moderator
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hi, Wycombe fan here ...  just wanted to say that was brilliant! really made me laugh ( especially the buddha bit) someone stuck the link on the Wycombe site and we all loved it !
Poojah you should be running for PM !
all the best Grimsby, i actually really do hope you come straight back up..

p.s. someone should stick that on facebook and see how many fans you get.. loads i bet !!
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April 23, 2010, 11:51am Report to Moderator

Whiskey Drinker
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It's great to see the messages of support from fans of other clubs. Seems that plenty of true fans have a soft spot for us and wish us well.

Poojah and his rants have done more to promote positive vibes about Grimsby Town than Fenty, Woods, the players and everyone else connected with the club put together.

I thought his previous rant was a one off, but to top it with this stupendous effort is incredible.

Sad that it was necessary though. But with Woods in charge I fear there may be a few more to come........
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April 23, 2010, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
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Haha quality first post, that is wgat its all about, supporting your team through thick and thin (through thin and thinner in your case)

good luck on getting back into the league

at the moment im loving life in the prem but in a perverse kind of way im missing the lower divisions football

stoke til i die
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April 24, 2010, 6:21pm Report to Moderator
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Villa fan here,a thread on poojahs rant has been opened our boards.
May i just say poojah if it doesnt clash with a villa game next season,im going to Tamworth v Grimsby at the Lamb.I would consider it a privilege to be able to stand in the car park outside and have you scream in my face at the top of your voice "intercourse off"! In response I would shake your hand and buy you a pint.You are truly a supporter of the highest calibre and Grimsby Town have gone right up in my estimation.By that I mean the fans,by your own admission the team at present sounds truly shite.
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April 24, 2010, 6:54pm Report to Moderator
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blackpool fan in peace. brill article poojah wish i was so literate.. but do not despair, ive been there, well nearly, and look at us now! the bast-rd is in 2 or 3 years we could change places but at least mindless hope is eternal. fu-k us all
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