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World, fúck off

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Poojah
April 17, 2010, 10:54pm
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Now I’m as optimistic as anyone when it comes to this twĂĄt of a football club, but after this afternoon’s latest capitulation it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee – we’re fĂșcked. Down. Goners. Non-league. To be honest I didn’t know how it would affect me, it’s not like it hasn’t been coming, but tonight I just feel absolutely deflated. Absolutely fĂșcking devastated.

I can’t get away from these emotions, I just want the whole world to just fĂșck off and leave me alone. To help me come to terms with this whole mess, I’ve decided to compile a list of everyone and everything I want to fĂșck off most of all.

For starters, work can fĂșck off. If they think I’m going to be there on Monday morning they’ve got another thing coming. No way am I going in to spend time dealing with cĂșnts that I can barely stand being with when I’m in a good mood, let alone this crushing feeling of anger, frustration and outright metaphorical-kicked-in-the-bĂłllocks-ness.

Plastic Premier League fans can fĂșck off. I just spoke to my Manchester United supporting neighbour (who incidentally, has been to Old Trafford before – twice) about Town’s predicament. You know what he said? “I know how you feel; it’s like when we failed to win a trophy in ‘95”. NO IT FÚCKING WELL IS NOT!

He no longer has a face.

The girlfriend can definitely fĂșck off. Her best attempt at consolation – “I don’t know why you’re bothered; you knew they were shĂ­t anyway”. Yes love, but they’re MY shĂ­t team. They’ve been MINE for pretty much as long as I’ve been able to wipe my own ĂĄrse, and they’ll be MINE for as long as I’m alive (or at least, until I’m no longer able to wipe my own ĂĄrse). Truth is, watching my team win does things for me that no woman can. If push comes to shove and I’m horny, I can always have a wĂĄnk.

Barrow can fĂșck off. I’ve been all over the country and beyond to watch my team, but frankly I just don’t have the stomach to visit any town which makes Scunthorpe look like fĂșcking St. Tropez.

Dad, you can fĂșck off. This is your fault. Your idea. You introduced me to this shower of shĂ­t. “Come with me to Blundell Park”, you said, “Come and support the boys”. What could I do? I was fĂșcking four, what choice did I have? Why not get me hooked on Heroin whilst you were at it? I could have gone with mum shopping for bras and knickers at British Home Stores, but no, you knew best.

Granted, I’d have probably grown up a homosexual but surely even being simultaneously bĂșggered two guys named Seth and Quentin couldn’t hurt like this.

Seeing as we’re on the subject of homosexuality, Gok Wan can fĂșck off. No particular reason, I just plain don’t like the annoying, goggle-eyed cĂșnt.

The F.A. can fĂșck off. Not for supplying us, week-in, week- out, with inept referee after inept referee, but for imposing sensible financial rules on all clubs in League Two. How many clubs in this division have been into administration this season? Not one. How many points deducted? Not one. How the fĂșck else are we supposed to avoid relegation – footballing merit? We didn’t have to last season, so why spoil the fun now?

The World Cup can fĂșck off – I don’t care anymore.

My local pizza shop can fĂșck off. I ordered a 12” Pepperoni over an hour ago, and where the fĂșck is it? Are they trying to fĂșcking fly it to me or something?

Sky Sports can fĂșck off. Nothing personal, but there’ll be little need for me next season with no Town to be found anywhere. Ooh, Bolton versus Wolves, LIVE. I think I’ll pass...

The radio can fĂșck off. On my way home from the match, whilst driving down the M180, I caught three completely separate stations playing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean at the exact same fĂșcking time. The song’s the best part of a year old, how the fĂșck does that happen by coincidence!?

My nan’s old lucky Buddha that used to sit in her front room can fĂșck off. When I was a kid I held it in my hands and wished for Town to be in the Premier League. I meant the proper one you fat cĂșnt, not the one occupied by Histon, Eastbourne and for fĂșck’s sake, Ebbsfleet, wherever that is.

Tonight can fĂșck off. I’ve had enough of trying to cope with my emotions; the time has come for oblivion. I haven’t kept any booze in the house since an occasion known only as ‘That Night’ by myself and the missus, but suffice to say that the toilet duck and luminous blue mouthwash are looking like stronger propositions by the minute.

Most of all though, the last 10 years can fĂșck off. In that time I’ve watched my team fall from the top of the Championship into non-league nothingness. We’ve gone from one great big fĂșck up to the next without even coming up for air, and today is just the big, fĂșck off cherry on top.

One thing I’m sure of though is that we WILL be back. When it comes down to it, a football club is basically just a set of supporters, and frankly what I’ve learned in the last few years is that this one has some of the best. We’ve had to put up with some shĂ­t, haven’t we boys, but in spite of all of that the future is still bright – it’s fĂșcking black and white.

Grimsby ‘til I die...


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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Mariner Tim
April 17, 2010, 10:59pm

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Vote Poojah.


Up The Mariners
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goolemariner
April 17, 2010, 10:59pm

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The legend is back.


Those were the days, my friend,
We took the Stretford End,
We took the Kop, the Kippax and the Shed,
We lived the life we choose,
We'd fight, we'd never lose,
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days,
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, Town!
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BarnsleyGull
April 17, 2010, 10:59pm
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oh dear mate.

sorry.

(and please dont tell me to f**k off)

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cleemariner1
April 17, 2010, 11:01pm
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the legend that is poojah has said how we all flipping feel.......POOJAH FOR MANAGER


GRIMSBY TOWN...BSP CHAMPIONS 2010/11
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Corkyefes
April 17, 2010, 11:02pm
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You had your 5 minutes.

Don't milk it haha
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vanman
April 17, 2010, 11:02pm
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Poojah you have a way with words fella, fooking class!




Here comes the action
Here it comes at last
Lord give me reaction
Lord give me a chance
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bawarmy
April 17, 2010, 11:02pm
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Beautifully put, I'll FĂșck off now
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BarnsleyGull
April 17, 2010, 11:03pm
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Quoted from BarnsleyGull

oh dear mate.

sorry.

(and please dont tell me to f**k off)



oh, forgot to say read your other "legend" post from before too, where you slagged off the players.

top drawer mate, and we have all felt like that.
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sutton mariner
April 17, 2010, 11:04pm
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I FOKING LOVE YOU POOJAH!!!!!




I Make Movies #UTM
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