Letter to the Bank of England

Dear Mervyn King,

I see that the Bank of England are considering another round of "Quantitative Easing". I have a suggestion as to what the bank could do with the money it produces. Rather than just give it to our banks who may just "sit" on the money and not "kick start" the economy in the way you like I suggest you give it to lower league football clubs.

Small football clubs are at the heart of communities up and down the country and they would inject additional money into their local economies through players wages and ground improvements. Fans would start spending more money as well by going to more games and buying pints, burgers and pies. This would entail more stewards, police and bar staff, who in turn would spend their extra wages on other goods and services. In other words exactly what you are trying to achieve with "Quantitative Easing".

I suggest you make a start on my own team Grimsby Town. We only ever buy players from other British clubs so all the money you would give to Town would be distributed in the UK. I reckon our ground could do with a lick of paint as well so that would be more work for local people. There's plenty of things we could spend money on I'm sure.

Shall we start with two million? If the experiment is a success perhaps you could then consider taking action with other teams. I am more than happy to suggest a list of other teams that would benefit from "Quantitative Easing", although for obvious reasons I wouldn't recommend Lincoln, Scunthorpe or Hull.

I look forward to hearing from you. If you want to send a cheque just make it payable to "Grimsby Town Football Club". I'll make sure it gets passed on.

Perhaps get the cheque made out to "Campaign Against Spending Hastily" or C.A.S.H. for short?

I can only back this idea. QE runs into the billions, whereas a tiny sum like £1m quid could really help Town (and the economy).

If a couple of million pounds were to be made available to GTFC, how should it be used? Sincerely yours Mervyn.

Excellent stuff Rob  

Quoted from 1600

Excellent stuff Rob  

it's a p1ss poor idea that is only marginally better than your really p1ss poor idea. . . so yeah, excellent stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear BoE, please kindly use your(loose term) money to blow yourselves to a trillion bits and make a small investment in TV coverage so we can all watch.
I'm sure takers would be plentiful as the vewing figures would be astronimical.
Please try to clear your top (w)bankers away from the vecinity of the blast however as once fat hardens it is difficult to shift and we could do without the cleanup expense in an economical disaster zone which you have kindly help create.

Oh, but give summats to town first, both for the benefit of our club and to make this post footy related

Quoted from 1054

it's a p1ss poor idea that is only marginally better than your really p1ss poor idea. . . so yeah, excellent stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really wish I was as positive as you !
Tell me, how do you stay so optimistic and cheerful ?
If only everyone was like you everything would be so much better...    

Class !!

Is this a wind up or have you actually asked ?

I do think its a cracking Idea although we probably more chance of TimMickleburgh working 9 til 5  than actually getting some cash from the tight twits.