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I think I have found where GTFC_MAN has gone!!!!!

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SqueakyClean
March 29, 2010, 9:30pm Report to Moderator
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LOL!

MR AVERAGE?!?!?!!?!?!

MORE LIKE MR LONELY MAN LOOKING FOR SEXY TIMES ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!


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MarinerJosh
March 29, 2010, 9:31pm Report to Moderator
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I am sure that's the guy who was interviewed with Terry on Late Kick Off.


Grimsby Town FC.


One Love!
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Rodley Mariner
March 29, 2010, 9:34pm Report to Moderator
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Have you ever considered becoming a private detective Josh?
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Alfie
March 29, 2010, 9:42pm Report to Moderator
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Good lord.  
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Tommy
March 29, 2010, 9:45pm Report to Moderator
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Can't be. Have you seen the "Build: Average" bit?


"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one."
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MarinerJosh
March 29, 2010, 9:55pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Rodley Mariner
Have you ever considered becoming a private detective Josh?


Ha! No but it's running through my mind now. I shall wait for Terry to confirm before I send my application form off.  


Grimsby Town FC.


One Love!
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Wrawby_Mariner
March 29, 2010, 9:58pm Report to Moderator
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What on earth were you you looking for strange men for Josh?????
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Rodley Mariner
March 29, 2010, 9:59pm Report to Moderator
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You can start by finding out who SqueakyClean is as I'm guessing it's a regular poster who doesn't want everyone knowing that they frequent
uk-sex-contact.com!
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theicenian
March 29, 2010, 10:08pm Report to Moderator

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This thread is beginning to sound a tad gay.
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MarinerJosh
March 29, 2010, 10:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
What on earth were you you looking for strange men for Josh?????


I wasn't Wrawbs I was just pointing out the facts. I was just happy it wasn't my profile picture that came up.  


Grimsby Town FC.


One Love!
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JazzMariner
March 29, 2010, 10:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Rodley Mariner
You can start by finding out who SqueakyClean is as I'm guessing it's a regular poster who doesn't want everyone knowing that they frequent
uk-sex-contact.com!
Isn't it Spoony? Has the Snooze button on it?

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Abdul19
March 29, 2010, 10:17pm Report to Moderator

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18-80?  


Fentys out
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75
March 29, 2010, 10:22pm Report to Moderator
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Haha. Proper funny!!!!
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Alfie
March 29, 2010, 10:22pm Report to Moderator
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Given how Tony has the voice of a eight year old girl and smells like a tramp I thought the 'SqueakyClean' username was pretty funny.  
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Marinerz93
March 29, 2010, 10:53pm Report to Moderator

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Anybody else feel like throwing up........



Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.

Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock.
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Wrawby_Mariner
March 29, 2010, 11:15pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarinerJosh


I wasn't Wrawbs I was just pointing out the facts. I was just happy it wasn't my profile picture that came up.  


I came out in a hot sweat, I thought people were on to me
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pontoonlew
March 29, 2010, 11:19pm Report to Moderator
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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

thats the funniest thing ive seen on here all year!  
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Green27
March 29, 2010, 11:44pm Report to Moderator
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Sensational stuff.


Me and football are in a complicated relationship
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SNOOZE
March 30, 2010, 6:58pm Report to Moderator
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Don't think it is FUNNY
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SNOOZE
March 30, 2010, 7:05pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarinerJosh


Ha! No but it's running through my mind now. I shall wait for Terry to confirm before I send my application form off.  
Bet YOU are
one of the battle bus CRONIES

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75
March 30, 2010, 7:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SNOOZE
Don't think it is FUNNY


I think it is utter genius of biblical proportions. Praise the Lord you filthmeister.
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bladerunnner
March 30, 2010, 7:25pm Report to Moderator

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your gonna look a bit sheepish when you have to walk past everyone in the lower smiths on friday night eh tone? old chinese proverb say "perverts on the internet should understand what theyre getting into" still,weve all seen worse i bet? all i can say is thank the lord i haven't got a daughter with a laptop with oddballs like you trawling about looking for girl private.........meow.


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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dazwev
March 30, 2010, 7:29pm Report to Moderator

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stinky hammo is a perv, is a perv, is a perv
stinky hammo is a perv, his knob's average!



<*))))))><
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kamakazebear
March 30, 2010, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from dazwev
his knob's average!


whats wrong with average?!
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dazwev
March 30, 2010, 7:38pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from kamakazebear


whats wrong with average?!


Nothing at all, so is mine probably...........but you thought if he was advertizing for sex he would of BIGGED it up a bit.

i'd love to see he face on fri night, but i'm in the mainstand


<*))))))><
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75
March 30, 2010, 7:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from kamakazebear


whats wrong with average?!


I can only aspire to average but it does what it says on the tin so I'm always happy enough.  
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dazwev
March 30, 2010, 7:41pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from 75


I can only aspire to average but it does what it says on the tin so I'm always happy enough.  


What does it say on the tin vicar?


<*))))))><
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Civvy at last
March 30, 2010, 7:42pm Report to Moderator

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How does he know it's average ?  When was the last time he was slim enough to see it      


Two dogs are laying on the kitchen floor.

1st Dog says 'I heard a cracking joke in the park this morning'

2nd Dog says 'go on then, tell me it'

1st Dog says 'knock kno'

and the second Dogs jumps up and goes fking mental !!



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75
March 30, 2010, 7:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from dazwev


What does it say on the tin vicar?


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in Arial, size 16.
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dazwev
March 30, 2010, 7:44pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from 75


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in Arial, size 16.


RONSEAL  


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theicenian
March 30, 2010, 7:46pm Report to Moderator

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Average

Mmmm.

I had a friend,sadly no longer alive,who we christened STUBBY for obvious reasons in the context of this thread who always maintained it's what you can do with it.He must have been good because he always pulled some spectacular companions and generated a fair amount of envy among us average blokes.
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SNOOZE
March 30, 2010, 7:49pm Report to Moderator
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Talking about yourselves sharp objects
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bladerunnner
March 30, 2010, 7:50pm Report to Moderator

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he went to the circumsision clinic to be done,he was in with the surgeon a while when the doc came into the waiting room and said to tonys mother " im sorry missus hamilton but im afraid we couldn't perform the procedure on tony","you see theres no end to this sharp object" .


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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dazwev
March 30, 2010, 7:52pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from SNOOZE
Talking about yourselves sharp objects


you have been caught out bigtime Tony '' The Trawler'' Hamilton.


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Les Brechin
March 30, 2010, 7:54pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from dazwev


you have been caught out bigtime Tony '' The Trawler'' Hamilton.


Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"  



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dazwev
March 30, 2010, 7:58pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Les Brechin


Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"  


i like


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bladerunnner
March 30, 2010, 7:59pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from SNOOZE
Talking about yourselves sharp objects


come on tone its only a leg-pull me ole son, seriously though mate what were you thinking posting all your details and sexual preferences on a site that anyone on here can access your personal details? like iv'e said before i don't know you personally tony,but im thinking this thread is gonna make you a legend amongst all us seasoned perverts, we are not worthy oh warped one


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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Civvy at last
March 30, 2010, 8:11pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from bladerunnner


come on tone its only a leg-pull me ole son, seriously though mate what were you thinking posting all your details and sexual preferences on a site that anyone on here can access your personal details? like iv'e said before i don't know you personally tony,but im thinking this thread is gonna make you a legend amongst all us seasoned perverts, we are not worthy oh warped one


Warped, you don't know the meaning of it !!  If you think that's warped we need to have a chat sometime  

I was going to suggest this is going non - footy.  But on the other hand we are talking about "tackle"  


Two dogs are laying on the kitchen floor.

1st Dog says 'I heard a cracking joke in the park this morning'

2nd Dog says 'go on then, tell me it'

1st Dog says 'knock kno'

and the second Dogs jumps up and goes fking mental !!



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bladerunnner
March 30, 2010, 8:13pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Civvy at last


Warped, you don't know the meaning of it !!  If you think that's warped we need to have a chat sometime  

I was going to suggest this is going non - footy.  But on the other hand we are talking about "tackle"  


is this tony guy for real? this has gotta be a wind-up yes? nobody could be that stupid


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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jungleland
March 30, 2010, 8:56pm Report to Moderator

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hmmm  very good mrsqueekyclean  it`s   just gotta be spoony  ...  and with out doubt one of the best posts  ofr the year
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Wrawby_Mariner
March 30, 2010, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Les Brechin


Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"  


No thats ''Cum in Tissue, he must've Cum in a tissue''
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mariner91
March 30, 2010, 9:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from 75


I can only aspire to average but it does what it says on the tin so I'm always happy enough.  


Doesn't it hurt having a tin around it? Tin edges are sharp.  


Grimsby till I die.
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Alfie
March 30, 2010, 10:53pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from dazwev
stinky hammo is a perv, is a perv, is a perv
stinky hammo is a perv, his knob's average!



One of the very few times this site has had me in fits of laughter.  

Great stuff.
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marinerian
March 30, 2010, 10:55pm Report to Moderator

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Tony should stick to his 'GILFS' and plan to take some poor familys inheritence.

Hey man lock up your gran
Tony Hamilton is one sick man
He doesn't like women pure
He prefers them much mature
He likes them knocking on Heavens door



UP THE MARINERS
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Alfie
March 30, 2010, 10:56pm Report to Moderator
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Also, Dumbo Humbo strikes again, this thread had died a slow death and was creeping to 2nd page obscurity.

Now he's bumped it, it'll be enjoyed by the masses for a few more days to come.  
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GrimRob
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I wouldn't make fun of him. There's probably the odd septuagenarian in NE Lincs who'd regard him as quite a catch


'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

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mariner91
March 30, 2010, 11:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from GrimRob
I wouldn't make fun of him. There's probably the odd septuagenarian in NE Lincs who'd regard him as quite a catch


Lucky bloke


Grimsby till I die.
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JonnyK
March 30, 2010, 11:56pm Report to Moderator
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Only just seen this.  Pure class.  And maybe he's been lucky with it.  He has been a bit awol recently.
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Lambretta Mariner
March 31, 2010, 10:04am Report to Moderator

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Just had a quick look on the site ( just for research purposes of course ) and he could have chosen up the age of 99 so perhaps he doesn't like them too old!
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NewtoN
March 31, 2010, 10:12am Report to Moderator

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lmao! Tony the raging perv!
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Wrawby_Mariner
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Tony Hamilton was on the telly
We all laughed at his over hanging belly
So he turned to the net
Where bagging a granny looked a sure fire bet
But our Tony was found out
By what was a pretty good shout
So a new username he will create
Because his rep is in a state
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Civvy at last
March 31, 2010, 12:53pm Report to Moderator

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A fat squeeky b@stard called Tone
Needs a granny so he'll get a bone (on)
so he looked on the net
but he ain't found one yet
Coz he can't find a desperate old crone.


Two dogs are laying on the kitchen floor.

1st Dog says 'I heard a cracking joke in the park this morning'

2nd Dog says 'go on then, tell me it'

1st Dog says 'knock kno'

and the second Dogs jumps up and goes fking mental !!



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Wrawby_Mariner
March 31, 2010, 1:02pm Report to Moderator
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There once was a Town fan called Tony
whose member went all boney
Because he was being so shady
finding an old lady
They all thought he was a bit phoney
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pontoonlew
March 31, 2010, 1:14pm Report to Moderator
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There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick
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Les Brechin
March 31, 2010, 1:20pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from pontoonlew
There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick







OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16023.52


LATEST DONATION - FROM COLLECTION TIN ON COUNTER AT WORK - APRIL 2019 AMOUNT RAISED £60.00
        
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Richard Cranium
March 31, 2010, 1:25pm Report to Moderator
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GTFC_MAN or SNOOZE
He didn't know whixh one to choose
To our surprise
He chose porky pies
Because he had nothing to lose
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bladerunnner
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Quoted from pontoonlew
There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick


iv'e only logged on to reply to this pontoonlew...........your are a comic genius,this little ditty had me spitting coffee out across the room much to the bemusement of my family........what a warped f.u.c.k.e.r this tony is eh?


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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bladerunnner
March 31, 2010, 3:12pm Report to Moderator

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there once was a pervert called tone,          who wouldn't leave the grannys alone.................his member is tiny.............his voice is all whiny............with a hint of a helium drone                                                                                                                       


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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Wrawby_Mariner
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There once was a fella called Tony
Who was a little bit lonely
he wanted a granny
so he could have a go on her f@nny
Oh what a dirty man was he
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Wrawby_Mariner
March 31, 2010, 3:29pm Report to Moderator
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Tony had one little wish
That he would finally get some success with fish
So he tried internet dating
With view to some mating
but failed cos he smells of pish
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dazwev
March 31, 2010, 4:04pm Report to Moderator

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he he this thread is great!!!


<*))))))><
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Wrawby_Mariner
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His profile says he has no kids
Its because he prefers the bids
Old or wrinckley he isnt fussed
But being sketty is a must
Also boixing in sports fitness?
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Alfie
March 31, 2010, 4:41pm Report to Moderator
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Wrawby's are that poor, they're almost funny.  
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Wrawby_Mariner
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Quoted from Alfie
Wrawby's are that poor, they're almost funny.  


Oh you female dog
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Wrawby_Mariner
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1 last attempt


Our Tony's been internet dating
Because hes fed up of masturbating
Everyone thinks this guy is silly
Because he is talking about his average willy
No wonder he is getting such a slating
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fivestarfish
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I like the picture of the old woman on the wall behind him  
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75
March 31, 2010, 5:40pm Report to Moderator
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This is the best ever thread on the fishy. If I was him, I'd move to Scunthorpe with my head bowed. Utter genius.
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75
March 31, 2010, 5:44pm Report to Moderator
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Tony blocks the bar at the Imp
Coz he's talking to granma's pimp
Pimpy says she's a bit tired and wrinkly
But a bit of vaseline will sort it on his average winky
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somersetmariner
March 31, 2010, 5:44pm Report to Moderator

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I wonder how many M+F couples have requested his squeakiness??.......my wife is keen....mind you she doesnt have a nose......


you can take the boy out of grimsby......but you can't take grimsby out of his soul, his blood, his semen!  
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75
March 31, 2010, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from somersetmariner
I wonder how many M+F couples have requested his squeakiness??.......my wife is keen....mind you she doesnt have a nose......


Does she have her bus pass though?
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somersetmariner
March 31, 2010, 5:49pm Report to Moderator

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she does....and all the relevant sex toys - rubber gloves, disinfectant......


you can take the boy out of grimsby......but you can't take grimsby out of his soul, his blood, his semen!  
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Marinerz93
March 31, 2010, 6:24pm Report to Moderator

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House share  = living at home with mum

he's not the only loser we know, our old friend fans64 seems to have an account too



Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.

Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock.
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Civvy at last
March 31, 2010, 8:32pm Report to Moderator

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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


Two dogs are laying on the kitchen floor.

1st Dog says 'I heard a cracking joke in the park this morning'

2nd Dog says 'go on then, tell me it'

1st Dog says 'knock kno'

and the second Dogs jumps up and goes fking mental !!



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barralad
March 31, 2010, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


Now THAT'S Genius!!


I have an inferiority complex-It's not a very good one though.
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theicenian
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At what point does this thread become internet bullying?


Oh it's hamilton your on about.


Please feel free to carry on some of the limericks are mighty fine. I'm sorry to say that Civvy's last effort is the best of the lot so far.
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JonnyK
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This thread is great please keep it up.  Literature isn't my strong suit so I'll leave  the limericks to those who are making me chuckle almost every hour.
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Brazilnut
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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


awesome.........sometimes you realise you are in the company of geniuses


<*(((><

    Sometimes the  world is just too cruel to have funny things at the bottom of your post !!!
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Brazilnut
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i am a saddo called gtfc man
i wouldnt mind kn0bbing your gran
but the oldies prefer to knit
because i smell like a cess pit
maybe i'll try pulling a tran


<*(((><

    Sometimes the  world is just too cruel to have funny things at the bottom of your post !!!
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mike the mariner
March 31, 2010, 10:22pm Report to Moderator

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There once was a man with a stink,
who desperately sort after pink.
On TV in a hat,
He looked like a prat.
Or possibly the missing link.
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Marinerz93
March 31, 2010, 10:34pm Report to Moderator

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18 to 80 is my age range
I like variety, it's not strange
skinny or fat, young or old
I don't care I'm Tony the bold
A swordmans of the non fussy type
I'll shag your granny all through the night

I live at home with my mum
I need a female for sexy fun
I hunt high and low for sex
Cos to much wanking is giving me a complex
It's made my voice unually high
And the hairs on my palms make me cry
Somebody intercourse me or I'll burst
My built up man jiuce into mommy's purse



Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.

Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock.
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ponnyfan
March 31, 2010, 10:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from marinerian
Tony should stick to his 'GILFS' and plan to take some poor familys inheritence.

Hey man lock up your gran
Tony Hamilton is one sick man
He doesn't like women pure
He prefers them much mature
He likes them knocking on Heavens door

Oh yes there is a picture of one of his GILFS in the background on his picture  



The Icenian Prediction League Winner 2011  .......the first Champion!
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ponnyfan
March 31, 2010, 10:53pm Report to Moderator
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A bloke called Clarkies mate
Took a pensioner out on a date
She impailed his small member
Til the 4th of September
Which sealed the sweaty felicitations fate !


The Icenian Prediction League Winner 2011  .......the first Champion!
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pontoonlew
April 1, 2010, 12:07am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


Love it!
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mariner91
April 1, 2010, 12:51am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet




Grimsby till I die.
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tarka
April 1, 2010, 7:34am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


Keep 'em coming lads...that's the best yet!  
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GrimRob
April 1, 2010, 7:39am Report to Moderator

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The ballad of Croney Tony

There once was a fellow called Tony
Whose life had become rather lonely
So he looked on the net
For a busty brunette
Or failing that for a wizened old croney


'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

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75
April 1, 2010, 7:44am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from GrimRob
The ballad of Croney Tony

There once was a fellow called Tony
Whose life had become rather lonely
So he looked on the net
For a busty brunette
Or failing that for a wizened old croney


hahaha, my favourite so far!!
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pontoonlew
April 1, 2010, 9:50am Report to Moderator
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There once was a man named Tony the tank,
No-one sat next to him cos he flipping stank!
Eighteen to eighty?
Get a grip matey!
Your only action is a male masturbation!
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Les Brechin
April 1, 2010, 11:03am Report to Moderator

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Tony's profile got creepier
As he sat there feeling much friskier,
He may be a goon,
But he needs a date soon,
Or he'll have to try nechrophilia.



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mariner91
April 1, 2010, 11:56am Report to Moderator
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There was an odd bloke called Tony,
Who wanted to feed a Gran's pony,
But she said "you stink
You can't have my pink"
So Tony is still really lonely.


Grimsby till I die.
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thefish
April 1, 2010, 1:02pm Report to Moderator

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There once was a fat squeeky man,
Who couldn't find a naughty gran,
He house shares,
With a couple of queers,
So he had to make do with a man!
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Marinerz93
April 1, 2010, 1:48pm Report to Moderator

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42 sad and lonely
Is an old minger called Tony
Slightly hairy with a pot belly
Tony the sex pest
Prefers thighs of jelly

On the net, night and day
Looking for a granny
who'll go all the way
Some old biddy to take him to Heaven and back
With Granny's mammaries swung around her back

Giddgy up granny I'm almost there
Tony wakes up as he cum's on his teddy bear
It's all dream a wet one at that
And what's worse in his bed he has shat

More stains on Tony's sheets
Through excrement and cum off his wet dreams
I need a woman lifes not fair
Maybe if you change your underwear
Take a bath and clean up you may become in demand
Until then Tony your lifes in your hand





Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.

Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock.
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flash1
April 1, 2010, 1:53pm Report to Moderator
rather be a codhead than a scunt
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Quoted from Marinerz93
42 sad and lonely
Is an old minger called Tony
Slightly hairy with a pot belly
Tony the sex pest
Prefers thighs of jelly

On the net, night and day
Looking for a granny
who'll go all the way
Some old biddy to take him to Heaven and back
With Granny's mammaries swung around her back

Giddgy up granny I'm almost there
Tony wakes up as he cum's on his teddy bear
It's all dream a wet one at that
And what's worse in his bed he has shat

More stains on Tony's sheets
Through excrement and cum off his wet dreams
I need a woman lifes not fair
Maybe if you change your underwear
Take a bath and clean up you may become in demand
Until then Tony your lifes in your hand





lmfao


rather be a codhead than a scunt




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Les Brechin
April 1, 2010, 1:54pm Report to Moderator

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How about this young lady Tony, she say's shes only 79!




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Biccys
April 1, 2010, 3:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Les Brechin
How about this young lady Tony, she say's shes only 79!



Boom-chick-a-wow-wow....


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Wrawby_Mariner
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I could not tell at this stage
What is Tony's preferred age
18 to 80 is what he says
because hes had zero lays
His chances stopped with his profile pic
because I saw his face and was sick
I noticed he had an overhanging belly
and was pretty smelly
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Biccys
April 1, 2010, 3:47pm Report to Moderator
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You've not got the hang of limericks yet have you Wrawbs.....


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Biccys
April 1, 2010, 3:51pm Report to Moderator
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There once was a man called Tone,
Who spent his life all alone
He tried internet date sites,
But there's no hiding from us Fishyites,
As we laugh at his average bone.


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Wrawby_Mariner
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Quoted from Biccys
You've not got the hang of limericks yet have you Wrawbs.....


no that on was just rhyming
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Les Brechin
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Maybe a few posters on here could take their Grandmas to the match tomorrow evening and Tony could choose one in The Imp before the game.  



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Biccys
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I could but my Gran's too old for Tony. She's 82...


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mariner91
April 1, 2010, 3:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Les Brechin
Maybe a few posters on here could take their Grandmas to the match tomorrow evening and Tony could choose one in The Imp before the game.  


My Grandad has been dead for 20 years now...but Grandma still isn't that desperate yet.


Grimsby till I die.
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tarka
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He called himself Clarky's Mate
And she was only 78
The sight of her wrinkle
Played havoc with his winkle
Now her false teeth are cemented to her plate
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VictorMeldrewsDad
April 1, 2010, 4:04pm Report to Moderator

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Young tony found himself a date
With a woman just turned eighty eight
He said 'i can't take this tension'
As he came on her pension
Now he's shaggin' her mothers best mate


I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed.
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VictorMeldrewsDad
April 1, 2010, 4:17pm Report to Moderator

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    Quoted from Civvy at last

    There once was a squeeky fat get
    who went trawling for sex on the net
    Till a woman said "matey"
    "I'm ugly and 80
    But I still aint that desperate yet


Pure Class


I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed.
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SNOOZE
April 1, 2010, 4:29pm Report to Moderator
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Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue
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tarka
April 1, 2010, 4:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SNOOZE
Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue


And don't you just love the idea of a long queue....and every one an octogenarian!

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Wrawby_Mariner
April 1, 2010, 5:24pm Report to Moderator
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SNOOZE had something to say
Nothing had gone his way
He wrote a post
Laughed at by most
And now he has gone away
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VictorMeldrewsDad
April 1, 2010, 5:34pm Report to Moderator

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Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause that's nearer the age i'd shag you


I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed.
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 5:36pm Report to Moderator

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Tony H likes old bids
Likes old Bids
Likes old Bids
Tony H likes old bids
He's a wierdo

Clarkies mate likes old ladies
Likes old ladies
Likes old Ladies
Clarkies mate likes old ladies
He likes them blind

Failing that he digs them up
He digs them up
Failing that he digs them up
He's one sick intercourse.

Come on guys lets write some more
write some more
write some more
Come on guys lets write some more
And all laugh at Tony


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pontoonlew
April 1, 2010, 5:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SNOOZE
Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue


We saw you on tele with Terry,
as the chinks say, we all saw your 'berry'
your smelly and fat
with a stupid wooly hat
its time you lost your cherry.
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 5:54pm Report to Moderator

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Hey I have an idea! Does anyone have a contact for Nana Moon from Freemo, we can help Tony to lose hos virginity at last!  


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stevieh
April 1, 2010, 5:56pm Report to Moderator
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internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
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pontoonlew
April 1, 2010, 5:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevieh
internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.


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Wrawby_Mariner
April 1, 2010, 6:03pm Report to Moderator
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Tony the chubby slob
Had a bloody average knob
He advertised it on the net
for some muff he had not met yet

He wants them almost 6 foot under
But why? is what makes us wonder
Rejected by the girls he has met
Is why grannies are all he can get

He's up for anything is our Tone
Lots of bondage will make him moan
Not too much or he'll squeak
God his sex life does look bleak

He will get abuse in the Imp
Not just because he acts like a gimp
We might meet up to compare notes
I just hope nobody gloats
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 6:09pm Report to Moderator

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Tony gets all horney
At the thought of dating a woman of one hundred and forty
His GILF fetish causes a scene
He thinks fishy posters are mean
Because of his thoughts they are not keen


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bladerunnner
April 1, 2010, 6:17pm Report to Moderator

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have you ever laughed so much your face actually hurts? the gallows humour of the working class football fan is what makes britain great. hey,if that tony chap shows up in the imp or strutts his stuff in front of the lower smiths tommorrow night then i will take my hat off to the lad he's one brave motherf.u.c.k.e.r..................well technically not mother,more like grandma/great aunt/dead female relative? im thinking that dating site post will be a bigger regret for him than the regret hitler felt when his gas bill dropped through the letterbox


irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron!   (baldrick,blackadder)
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Mariner16
April 1, 2010, 6:30pm Report to Moderator
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Tony was a volcano near tears,
and the fishy increased his fears.
It made him feel sad
that he hadn't had
an average eruption in years.
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Alfie
April 1, 2010, 6:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bladerunnner
have you ever laughed so much your face actually hurts? the gallows humour of the working class football fan is what makes britain great. hey,if that tony chap shows up in the imp or strutts his stuff in front of the lower smiths tommorrow night then i will take my hat off to the lad he's one brave motherf.u.c.k.e.r..................well technically not mother,more like grandma/great aunt/dead female relative? im thinking that dating site post will be a bigger regret for him than the regret hitler felt when his gas bill dropped through the letterbox


Hopefully someone will say something.

He deserves all the stick he gets... and more.
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VictorMeldrewsDad
April 1, 2010, 6:47pm Report to Moderator

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Whilst walking around Blundell Park
Someone to Tony made a remark
That he liked shagging grannies
With a really dry fannies
And his last girlfriend was as old as the arc


I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed.
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 7:02pm Report to Moderator

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Whilst Tony was alone in the dark
He decided he liked old granny Lark
She was around 102
And smelt like a nasty poo
But that was all he was able to do


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Wrawby_Mariner
April 1, 2010, 7:15pm Report to Moderator
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Grimsby's runt, they call him SNOOZE
It's his virginity he's hoping to lose
Anything for some randy lust
Young'un or old'un he's not fussed
Its the latter that he will probably choose


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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 7:18pm Report to Moderator

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Our mate the user called Snooze
I think he needs to lay off the booze
It's gone to his head
He likes his women (nearly) dead
And rants like a fool when Town lose


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75
April 1, 2010, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
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I saw him in a taxi in Town (today - true and he looked a little sheepish)
He looked a bit like a clown
He definitely had a frown
I reckon he's feeling down
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 7:42pm Report to Moderator

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Tony is now mates with Jozef
They both sit together in Row Z
The are on a conquest for mothers and daughters
To take them  back to old Joze quaters
Elizabeth is sad
she doesn't want to share her dad
But would rather be dead than have Mr Hamilton


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ginnywings
April 1, 2010, 8:37pm Report to Moderator

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The post of Poet Laureate is safe.
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barralad
April 1, 2010, 10:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ginnywings
The post of Poet Laureate is safe.


Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate


I have an inferiority complex-It's not a very good one though.
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 10:30pm Report to Moderator

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My first attempt which started all these poems/lymerics off was easily the best! I declare myself the winner  


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fivestarfish
April 1, 2010, 10:38pm Report to Moderator

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Humberside Police are searching for a man who has exposed himself to elderly women. Police say the man is wanted in at least six incidents.

The suspect is described as a white male, about 40 years old, with short brown hair, average tackle length, a medium build and about 5'10" tall.

Victims say he has a distinctive squeaky voice and an unpleasant smell.
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 10:50pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from barralad


Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate


Mine was much better, stop bumming each other  


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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 10:51pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from fivestarfish
Humberside Police are searching for a man who has exposed himself to elderly women. Police say the man is wanted in at least six incidents.

The suspect is described as a white male, about 40 years old, with short brown hair, average tackle length, a medium build and about 5'10" tall.

Victims say he has a distinctive squeaky voice and an unpleasant smell.


Or was it our Vicar?  


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jock dock tower
April 1, 2010, 10:55pm Report to Moderator
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It's hard to imagine the sight,
Of a knobhound stalking the night,
For a mummy or granny,
Or any old fanny,
That would would sooooooooothe this pervert's plight.



No attempt at ethical or social seduction can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred of the Tory party. So far as I'm concerned they're lower than vermin. Aneurin Bevan.
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Les Brechin
April 1, 2010, 11:14pm Report to Moderator

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To the tune of "You fill up my senses"

He fills up his bedroom
With pics of old grannys
With packets of condoms
With smelly old muffs
Like a night out in Scunthorpe
With a dirty old fanny
Old G-T-F-C man
Will gas you again.



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TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16023.52


LATEST DONATION - FROM COLLECTION TIN ON COUNTER AT WORK - APRIL 2019 AMOUNT RAISED £60.00
        
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Wrawby_Mariner
April 1, 2010, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
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This thread has done wanders for my depression, obviously not for yours Tony sorry
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marinerian
April 1, 2010, 11:22pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Les Brechin
To the tune of "You fill up my senses"

He fills up his bedroom
With pics of old grannys
With packets of condoms
With smelly old muffs
Like a night out in Scunthorpe
With a dirty old fanny
Old G-T-F-C man
Will gas you again.




That one comes a close second to my attempt  


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75
April 2, 2010, 12:15am Report to Moderator
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There was a young man called tony
Whose willy was average n bony
His ad was quite bold
He likes em young, middle or old
The Fishy lads raised the tension
He's after their beaver n pension
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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 12:40am Report to Moderator
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The fishy boys gave Tony some sh1t
Which he did not like 1 bit
We mocked hid love for old age (women)
Which he replied with a rage
but we still thinks he's a bloody t1t
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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 12:50am Report to Moderator
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Our man Tony was having a moan
About the fellas we've had on loan
So we gave him some abuse
Like we didnt need another excuse
As this thread has shown
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VictorMeldrewsDad
April 2, 2010, 1:27am Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet



Gets my vote



I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed.
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Biccys
April 2, 2010, 1:28am Report to Moderator
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We now have our own "Mr Average",
Whose tastes we don't all agree with,
He likes wizened Grannies,
With gizzards for fannies
And threesomes with strangers his dream is.


11,167

76,962

@biccysthefishy

£110,105

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GrimRob
April 2, 2010, 10:05am Report to Moderator

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Oh super grey and whites
Come thrill me again


'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

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topuphere666
April 2, 2010, 10:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from GrimRob
Oh super grey and whites
Come thrill me again


Your asking Hamilton to thrill you..... AGAIN !!
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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it


sorry thats really my last one
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75
April 2, 2010, 12:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it


sorry thats really my last one


haha, it's a good one to sign off with!
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75
April 2, 2010, 12:54pm Report to Moderator
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There was a young man called Hammo
He trawled the web to get slammo
He wanted 18-80 fanny
He targets the kids and their nanny
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LH
April 2, 2010, 1:00pm Report to Moderator

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Only just seen this. Classic! Any songs to sing to him tonight?
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pseudonym
April 2, 2010, 2:02pm Report to Moderator
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No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.
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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 2:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from pseudonym
No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.


Tonight in the Imp would  be banter if he turned up
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0ld timer
April 2, 2010, 4:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from pseudonym
No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.


you trying to put ideas into peoples heads terry
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ginnywings
April 2, 2010, 4:17pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from barralad


Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate


Are you not a fan of Duffy or don't you think women should be Poet Laureate?

Never read any of her stuff myself ,so have no opinion.

Civvys' limerick was pretty good though.
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ponnyfan
April 2, 2010, 4:27pm Report to Moderator
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Surely this will find it's way to the classic thread page ? Biccy's?


The Icenian Prediction League Winner 2011  .......the first Champion!
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marinerian
April 2, 2010, 4:56pm Report to Moderator

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Tony once sang a happy Tune
As he was dating Nanna Moon
He thought she was fit
But she dumped him really quick
When she realised he was a stinking loon


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dazwev
April 2, 2010, 5:18pm Report to Moderator

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There once was a stinker called Tony
Who's passion for town was quite phoney
When he fancies some f@nny
You best lock up your granny
sorry, Squeeky's at home feeling lonely.


<*))))))><
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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 5:36pm Report to Moderator
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There will be trouble tonight in the Imp
If theres an appearance from Tony the gimp
His odour you cannot ignore
but his voice will annoy you more
Another lyric about Grimsby's pimp

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marinerian
April 2, 2010, 5:43pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
There will be trouble tonight in the Imp
If theres an appearance from Tony the gimp
His odour you cannot ignore
but his voice will annoy you more
Another lyric about Grimsby's pimp



You are getting quite good at this, you have obviously learnt from the master  


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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 5:44pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from marinerian


You are getting quite good at this, you have obviously learnt from the master  


Who Civvy?
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marinerian
April 2, 2010, 5:47pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner


Who Civvy?


Civvy my bottom, he is a novice in the poet stakes  


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Wrawby_Mariner
April 2, 2010, 5:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from marinerian


Civvy my bottom, he is a novice in the poet stakes  


Oh I know  your Ted Hughes in disguise
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VictorMeldrewsDad
April 2, 2010, 6:17pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it


sorry thats really my last one


Now Wrawby has learned how to rhyme
Some limericks of his are sublime
Although he's no poet
I think we all know it
Will he now read them out at halftime?




I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed.
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davmariner
April 3, 2010, 12:25am Report to Moderator
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I saw average Tone outside the stadium tonight... with friends! Shocked me.


Up The Mariners!
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pseudonym
April 3, 2010, 4:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from davmariner
I saw average Tone outside the stadium tonight... with friends! Shocked me.
He was in the Imp

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1106
April 3, 2010, 4:49pm Report to Moderator
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Wonder if he thourght last nights ref had an average game. After all, it was a big decision to send Ollie off.
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barralad
April 4, 2010, 10:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner


Oh I know  your Ted Hughes in disguise


Isn't Ted Hughes dead? Bloody good disguise..


I have an inferiority complex-It's not a very good one though.
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bradzmilne
July 18, 2010, 10:49am Report to Moderator
Whiskey Drinker
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18-80 slight strange or desperate  


Sleep well Icey, Matty and Richard. Keep each other company up there xx

Back In The Big Time
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Alfie
April 18, 2012, 5:35pm Report to Moderator
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lol
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ska face
November 8, 2012, 9:47pm Report to Moderator

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So, so good.

11 pages of excrement limericks, and I'm still laughing at that first post.
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