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 SqueakyClean |
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 LOL!MR AVERAGE?!?!?!!?!?!
MORE LIKE MR LONELY MAN LOOKING FOR SEXY TIMES ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!! |
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| MarinerJosh |
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I am sure that's the guy who was interviewed with Terry on Late Kick Off.
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| Grimsby Town FC. One Love! |
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| Rodley Mariner |
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Have you ever considered becoming a private detective Josh?
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| Alfie |
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Good lord.  |
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| Tommy |
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Can't be. Have you seen the "Build: Average" bit?
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| "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one." |
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| MarinerJosh |
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Have you ever considered becoming a private detective Josh?
Ha! No but it's running through my mind now. I shall wait for Terry to confirm before I send my application form off. |
| Grimsby Town FC. One Love! |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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What on earth were you you looking for strange men for Josh?????
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| Rodley Mariner |
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You can start by finding out who SqueakyClean is as I'm guessing it's a regular poster who doesn't want everyone knowing that they frequent
uk-sex-contact.com!
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| theicenian |
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This thread is beginning to sound a tad gay. |
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| MarinerJosh |
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What on earth were you you looking for strange men for Josh?????
I wasn't Wrawbs I was just pointing out the facts. I was just happy it wasn't my profile picture that came up. |
| Grimsby Town FC. One Love! |
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| JazzMariner |
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You can start by finding out who SqueakyClean is as I'm guessing it's a regular poster who doesn't want everyone knowing that they frequent
uk-sex-contact.com!
Isn't it Spoony? Has the Snooze button on it? |
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| Abdul19 |
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18-80? |
| “I hit the ball as though it owed me money.” |
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| 75 |
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| Alfie |
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Given how Tony has the voice of a eight year old girl and smells like a tramp I thought the 'SqueakyClean' username was pretty funny. |
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| Marinerz93 |
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Anybody else feel like throwing up........  |
| Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.
Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock. |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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I wasn't Wrawbs I was just pointing out the facts. I was just happy it wasn't my profile picture that came up.
I came out in a hot sweat, I thought people were on to me  |
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| pontoonlew |
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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA thats the funniest thing ive seen on here all year! |
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| Green27 |
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 Sensational stuff. |
| Me and football are in a complicated relationship |
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Ha! No but it's running through my mind now. I shall wait for Terry to confirm before I send my application form off.
Bet YOU are one of the battle bus CRONIES |
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Don't think it is FUNNY
I think it is utter genius of biblical proportions. Praise the Lord you filthmeister. |
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| bladerunnner |
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your gonna look a bit sheepish when you have to walk past everyone in the lower smiths on friday night eh tone? old chinese proverb say "perverts on the internet should understand what theyre getting into" still,weve all seen worse i bet? all i can say is thank the lord i haven't got a daughter with a laptop with oddballs like you trawling about looking for girl private.........meow.  |
| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| dazwev |
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his knob's average!
whats wrong with average?!  |
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whats wrong with average?!
Nothing at all, so is mine probably...........but you thought if he was advertizing for sex he would of BIGGED it up a bit. i'd love to see he face on fri night, but i'm in the mainstand  |
| <*))))))>< |
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| dazwev |
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Quoted from 75
What does it say on the tin vicar?
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| Civvy at last |
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| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football' |
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| 75 |
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What does it say on the tin vicar?
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in Arial, size 16. |
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| dazwev |
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Quoted from 75
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in Arial, size 16.
RONSEAL |
| <*))))))>< |
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| theicenian |
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Average Mmmm. I had a friend,sadly no longer alive,who we christened STUBBY for obvious reasons in the context of this thread who always maintained it's what you can do with it.He must have been good because he always pulled some spectacular companions and generated a fair amount of envy among us average blokes.  |
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| SNOOZE |
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Talking about yourselves sharp objects
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| bladerunnner |
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he went to the circumsision clinic to be done,he was in with the surgeon a while when the doc came into the waiting room and said to tonys mother " im sorry missus hamilton but im afraid we couldn't perform the procedure on tony","you see theres no end to this sharp object" . |
| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| Les Brechin |
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Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler" |
|  OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16149.16LATEST DONATION - FROM PROCEEDS OF THE FISHY PONTOON BUSTER GAME - JAN 2020 AMOUNT RAISED £125.64 |
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| dazwev |
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Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"
i like |
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| bladerunnner |
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Talking about yourselves sharp objects
come on tone its only a leg-pull me ole son, seriously though mate what were you thinking posting all your details and sexual preferences on a site that anyone on here can access your personal details? like iv'e said before i don't know you personally tony,but im thinking this thread is gonna make you a legend amongst all us seasoned perverts, we are not worthy oh warped one |
| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| Civvy at last |
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come on tone its only a leg-pull me ole son, seriously though mate what were you thinking posting all your details and sexual preferences on a site that anyone on here can access your personal details? like iv'e said before i don't know you personally tony,but im thinking this thread is gonna make you a legend amongst all us seasoned perverts, we are not worthy oh warped one
Warped, you don't know the meaning of it !! If you think that's warped we need to have a chat sometime  I was going to suggest this is going non - footy. But on the other hand we are talking about "tackle" |
| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football' |
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Warped, you don't know the meaning of it !! If you think that's warped we need to have a chat sometime I was going to suggest this is going non - footy. But on the other hand we are talking about "tackle"
is this tony guy for real? this has gotta be a wind-up yes? nobody could be that stupid  |
| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| jungleland |
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hmmm very good mrsqueekyclean it`s just gotta be spoony ... and with out doubt one of the best posts ofr the year
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
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Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"
No thats ''Cum in Tissue, he must've Cum in a tissue'' |
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| mariner91 |
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Barley Wine Drinker  Posts: 13,872
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Quoted from 75
Doesn't it hurt having a tin around it? Tin edges are sharp. |
| Grimsby till I die.
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One of the very few times this site has had me in fits of laughter. Great stuff. |
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| marinerian |
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Tony should stick to his 'GILFS' and plan to take some poor familys inheritence. Hey man lock up your gran Tony Hamilton is one sick man He doesn't like women pure He prefers them much mature He likes them knocking on Heavens door |
| UP THE MARINERS |
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| Alfie |
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Also, Dumbo Humbo strikes again, this thread had died a slow death and was creeping to 2nd page obscurity. Now he's bumped it, it'll be enjoyed by the masses for a few more days to come. |
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| GrimRob |
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I wouldn't make fun of him. There's probably the odd septuagenarian in NE Lincs who'd regard him as quite a catch  |
| 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
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I wouldn't make fun of him. There's probably the odd septuagenarian in NE Lincs who'd regard him as quite a catch
Lucky bloke |
| Grimsby till I die.
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Only just seen this. Pure class. And maybe he's been lucky with it. He has been a bit awol recently.
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| Lambretta Mariner |
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Just had a quick look on the site ( just for research purposes of course ) and he could have chosen up the age of 99 so perhaps he doesn't like them too old!
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lmao! Tony the raging perv!
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Tony Hamilton was on the telly
We all laughed at his over hanging belly
So he turned to the net
Where bagging a granny looked a sure fire bet
But our Tony was found out
By what was a pretty good shout
So a new username he will create
Because his rep is in a state
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| Civvy at last |
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A fat squeeky b@stard called Tone
Needs a granny so he'll get a bone (on)
so he looked on the net
but he ain't found one yet
Coz he can't find a desperate old crone.
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| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football' |
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There once was a Town fan called Tony
whose member went all boney
Because he was being so shady
finding an old lady
They all thought he was a bit phoney
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| pontoonlew |
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There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick
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| Les Brechin |
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| OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16149.16LATEST DONATION - FROM PROCEEDS OF THE FISHY PONTOON BUSTER GAME - JAN 2020 AMOUNT RAISED £125.64 |
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| Richard Cranium |
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GTFC_MAN or SNOOZE
He didn't know whixh one to choose
To our surprise
He chose porky pies
Because he had nothing to lose
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| bladerunnner |
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| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| bladerunnner |
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there once was a pervert called tone, who wouldn't leave the grannys alone.................his member is tiny.............his voice is all whiny............with a hint of a helium drone |
| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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There once was a fella called Tony
Who was a little bit lonely
he wanted a granny
so he could have a go on her f@nny
Oh what a dirty man was he
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
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Tony had one little wish
That he would finally get some success with fish
So he tried internet dating
With view to some mating
but failed cos he smells of pish
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| dazwev |
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he he this thread is great!!!
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| <*))))))>< |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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His profile says he has no kids
Its because he prefers the bids
Old or wrinckley he isnt fussed
But being sketty is a must
Also boixing in sports fitness?
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| Alfie |
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Wrawby's are that poor, they're almost funny. |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Wrawby's are that poor, they're almost funny.
Oh you female dog |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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1 last attempt
Our Tony's been internet dating
Because hes fed up of masturbating
Everyone thinks this guy is silly
Because he is talking about his average willy
No wonder he is getting such a slating
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| fivestarfish |
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I like the picture of the old woman on the wall behind him  |
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| 75 |
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This is the best ever thread on the fishy. If I was him, I'd move to Scunthorpe with my head bowed. Utter genius.
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Tony blocks the bar at the Imp
Coz he's talking to granma's pimp
Pimpy says she's a bit tired and wrinkly
But a bit of vaseline will sort it on his average winky
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| somersetmariner |
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I wonder how many M+F couples have requested his squeakiness??.......my wife is keen....mind you she doesnt have a nose......
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| you can take the boy out of grimsby......but you can't take grimsby out of his soul, his blood, his semen!  |
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I wonder how many M+F couples have requested his squeakiness??.......my wife is keen....mind you she doesnt have a nose......
Does she have her bus pass though? |
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| somersetmariner |
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she does....and all the relevant sex toys - rubber gloves, disinfectant......
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| you can take the boy out of grimsby......but you can't take grimsby out of his soul, his blood, his semen! |
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House share = living at home with mum he's not the only loser we know, our old friend fans64 seems to have an account too |
| Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.
Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock. |
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| Civvy at last |
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
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| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football' |
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| barralad |
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
Now THAT'S Genius!! |
| I have an inferiority complex-It's not a very good one though. |
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| theicenian |
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At what point does this thread become internet bullying? Oh it's hamilton your on about. Please feel free to carry on some of the limericks are mighty fine. I'm sorry to say that Civvy's last effort is the best of the lot so far. |
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| JonnyK |
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This thread is great please keep it up. Literature isn't my strong suit so I'll leave the limericks to those who are making me chuckle almost every hour.
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| Brazilnut |
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
awesome.........sometimes you realise you are in the company of geniuses |
| <*(((><
Sometimes the world is just too cruel to have funny things at the bottom of your post !!! |
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i am a saddo called gtfc man
i wouldnt mind kn0bbing your gran
but the oldies prefer to knit
because i smell like a cess pit
maybe i'll try pulling a tran
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Sometimes the world is just too cruel to have funny things at the bottom of your post !!! |
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| mike the mariner |
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There once was a man with a stink,
who desperately sort after pink.
On TV in a hat,
He looked like a prat.
Or possibly the missing link.
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| Marinerz93 |
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18 to 80 is my age range I like variety, it's not strange skinny or fat, young or old I don't care I'm Tony the bold A swordmans of the non fussy type I'll shag your granny all through the night I live at home with my mum I need a female for sexy fun I hunt high and low for sex Cos to much wanking is giving me a complex It's made my voice unually high And the hairs on my palms make me cry Somebody intercourse me or I'll burst My built up man jiuce into mommy's purse |
| Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.
Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock. |
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| ponnyfan |
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Tony should stick to his 'GILFS' and plan to take some poor familys inheritence. Hey man lock up your gran Tony Hamilton is one sick man He doesn't like women pure He prefers them much mature He likes them knocking on Heavens door
Oh yes there is a picture of one of his GILFS in the background on his picture |
| The Icenian Prediction League Winner 2011 .......the first Champion! |
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A bloke called Clarkies mate
Took a pensioner out on a date
She impailed his small member
Til the 4th of September
Which sealed the sweaty felicitations fate !
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| The Icenian Prediction League Winner 2011 .......the first Champion! |
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| pontoonlew |
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
Love it! |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 13,872
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Location: London
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
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| Grimsby till I die.
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| tarka |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 623
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
Keep 'em coming lads...that's the best yet! |
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| GrimRob |
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The ballad of Croney Tony
There once was a fellow called Tony
Whose life had become rather lonely
So he looked on the net
For a busty brunette
Or failing that for a wizened old croney
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| 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
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| 75 |
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The ballad of Croney Tony
There once was a fellow called Tony
Whose life had become rather lonely
So he looked on the net
For a busty brunette
Or failing that for a wizened old croney
hahaha, my favourite so far!! |
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| pontoonlew |
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Whiskey Drinker Posts: 3,722
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There once was a man named Tony the tank,
No-one sat next to him cos he flipping stank!
Eighteen to eighty?
Get a grip matey!
Your only action is a male masturbation!
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| Les Brechin |
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Moderator
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Tony's profile got creepier
As he sat there feeling much friskier,
He may be a goon,
But he needs a date soon,
Or he'll have to try nechrophilia.
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| OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16149.16LATEST DONATION - FROM PROCEEDS OF THE FISHY PONTOON BUSTER GAME - JAN 2020 AMOUNT RAISED £125.64 |
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| mariner91 |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 13,872
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Location: London
Approval: +10,847
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There was an odd bloke called Tony,
Who wanted to feed a Gran's pony,
But she said "you stink
You can't have my pink"
So Tony is still really lonely.
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| Grimsby till I die.
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| thefish |
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 Snakebite drinker Posts: 391
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There once was a fat squeeky man,
Who couldn't find a naughty gran,
He house shares,
With a couple of queers,
So he had to make do with a man!
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| Marinerz93 |
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42 sad and lonely
Is an old minger called Tony
Slightly hairy with a pot belly
Tony the sex pest
Prefers thighs of jelly
On the net, night and day
Looking for a granny
who'll go all the way
Some old biddy to take him to Heaven and back
With Granny's mammaries swung around her back
Giddgy up granny I'm almost there
Tony wakes up as he cum's on his teddy bear
It's all dream a wet one at that
And what's worse in his bed he has shat
More stains on Tony's sheets
Through excrement and cum off his wet dreams
I need a woman lifes not fair
Maybe if you change your underwear
Take a bath and clean up you may become in demand
Until then Tony your lifes in your hand
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| Supporting the Mighty Mariners for over 30 years, home town club is were the heart and soul is and it's great to be a part of it.
Jesus’ disciple Peter, picked up a fish to get the tribute money from it, Jesus left his thumb print on the fish, bless'ed is the Haddock. |
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| flash1 |
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rather be a codhead than a scunt Cocktail Drinker Posts: 1,978
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42 sad and lonely
Is an old minger called Tony
Slightly hairy with a pot belly
Tony the sex pest
Prefers thighs of jelly
On the net, night and day
Looking for a granny
who'll go all the way
Some old biddy to take him to Heaven and back
With Granny's mammaries swung around her back
Giddgy up granny I'm almost there
Tony wakes up as he cum's on his teddy bear
It's all dream a wet one at that
And what's worse in his bed he has shat
More stains on Tony's sheets
Through excrement and cum off his wet dreams
I need a woman lifes not fair
Maybe if you change your underwear
Take a bath and clean up you may become in demand
Until then Tony your lifes in your hand
 lmfao |
| rather be a codhead than a scunt
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| Les Brechin |
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Moderator
Posts: 19,999
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Approval: +7,829
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How about this young lady Tony, she say's shes only 79! |
| OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16149.16LATEST DONATION - FROM PROCEEDS OF THE FISHY PONTOON BUSTER GAME - JAN 2020 AMOUNT RAISED £125.64 |
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| Biccys |
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How about this young lady Tony, she say's shes only 79!
Boom-chick-a-wow-wow.... |
| 11,167
76,962
@biccysthefishy
£110,105
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
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I could not tell at this stage
What is Tony's preferred age
18 to 80 is what he says
because hes had zero lays
His chances stopped with his profile pic
because I saw his face and was sick
I noticed he had an overhanging belly
and was pretty smelly
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| Biccys |
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You've not got the hang of limericks yet have you Wrawbs.....
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76,962
@biccysthefishy
£110,105
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| Biccys |
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Moderator
Posts: 12,077
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There once was a man called Tone,
Who spent his life all alone
He tried internet date sites,
But there's no hiding from us Fishyites,
As we laugh at his average bone.
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76,962
@biccysthefishy
£110,105
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Location: Wrawby
Approval: +733
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You've not got the hang of limericks yet have you Wrawbs.....
no that on was just rhyming |
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| Les Brechin |
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Moderator
Posts: 19,999
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Rep Score: +111 / -22
Location: Grimsby
Approval: +7,829
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Maybe a few posters on here could take their Grandmas to the match tomorrow evening and Tony could choose one in The Imp before the game. |
| OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16149.16LATEST DONATION - FROM PROCEEDS OF THE FISHY PONTOON BUSTER GAME - JAN 2020 AMOUNT RAISED £125.64 |
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| Biccys |
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Moderator
Posts: 12,077
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Reputation: 73.73%
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Approval: +1,000
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I could but my Gran's too old for Tony. She's 82...
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76,962
@biccysthefishy
£110,105
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| mariner91 |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 13,872
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Rep Score: +74 / -9
Location: London
Approval: +10,847
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Maybe a few posters on here could take their Grandmas to the match tomorrow evening and Tony could choose one in The Imp before the game.
My Grandad has been dead for 20 years now...but Grandma still isn't that desperate yet. |
| Grimsby till I die.
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| tarka |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 623
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Approval: +437
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He called himself Clarky's Mate
And she was only 78
The sight of her wrinkle
Played havoc with his winkle
Now her false teeth are cemented to her plate
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| VictorMeldrewsDad |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 611
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Young tony found himself a date
With a woman just turned eighty eight
He said 'i can't take this tension'
As he came on her pension
Now he's shaggin' her mothers best mate
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| I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed. |
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| VictorMeldrewsDad |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 611
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Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
Pure Class
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| I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed. |
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| SNOOZE |
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Lager Top Drinker Posts: 299
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Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue
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| tarka |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 623
Posts Per Day: 0.14
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Approval: +437
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Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue
And don't you just love the idea of a long queue....and every one an octogenarian! |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Approval: +733
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SNOOZE had something to say
Nothing had gone his way
He wrote a post
Laughed at by most
And now he has gone away
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| VictorMeldrewsDad |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 611
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Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause that's nearer the age i'd shag you
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| I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed. |
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| marinerian |
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Tony H likes old bids
Likes old Bids
Likes old Bids
Tony H likes old bids
He's a wierdo
Clarkies mate likes old ladies
Likes old ladies
Likes old Ladies
Clarkies mate likes old ladies
He likes them blind
Failing that he digs them up
He digs them up
Failing that he digs them up
He's one sick intercourse.
Come on guys lets write some more
write some more
write some more
Come on guys lets write some more
And all laugh at Tony
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| UP THE MARINERS |
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| pontoonlew |
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Whiskey Drinker Posts: 3,722
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Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue
We saw you on tele with Terry, as the chinks say, we all saw your 'berry' your smelly and fat with a stupid wooly hat its time you lost your cherry. |
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| marinerian |
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Hey I have an idea! Does anyone have a contact for Nana Moon from Freemo, we can help Tony to lose hos virginity at last! |
| UP THE MARINERS |
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| stevieh |
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Beer Drinker  Posts: 100
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internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
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| pontoonlew |
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Whiskey Drinker Posts: 3,722
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internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Approval: +733
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Tony the chubby slob
Had a bloody average knob
He advertised it on the net
for some muff he had not met yet
He wants them almost 6 foot under
But why? is what makes us wonder
Rejected by the girls he has met
Is why grannies are all he can get
He's up for anything is our Tone
Lots of bondage will make him moan
Not too much or he'll squeak
God his sex life does look bleak
He will get abuse in the Imp
Not just because he acts like a gimp
We might meet up to compare notes
I just hope nobody gloats
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| marinerian |
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Tony gets all horney
At the thought of dating a woman of one hundred and forty
His GILF fetish causes a scene
He thinks fishy posters are mean
Because of his thoughts they are not keen
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| UP THE MARINERS |
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| bladerunnner |
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Cocktail Drinker Posts: 1,616
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have you ever laughed so much your face actually hurts? the gallows humour of the working class football fan is what makes britain great. hey,if that tony chap shows up in the imp or strutts his stuff in front of the lower smiths tommorrow night then i will take my hat off to the lad he's one brave motherf.u.c.k.e.r..................well technically not mother,more like grandma/great aunt/dead female relative? im thinking that dating site post will be a bigger regret for him than the regret hitler felt when his gas bill dropped through the letterbox |
| irony................its a bit like brassy,only made from iron! (baldrick,blackadder) |
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| Mariner16 |
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Fine Wine Drinker Posts: 1,357
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Tony was a volcano near tears,
and the fishy increased his fears.
It made him feel sad
that he hadn't had
an average eruption in years.
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have you ever laughed so much your face actually hurts? the gallows humour of the working class football fan is what makes britain great. hey,if that tony chap shows up in the imp or strutts his stuff in front of the lower smiths tommorrow night then i will take my hat off to the lad he's one brave motherf.u.c.k.e.r..................well technically not mother,more like grandma/great aunt/dead female relative? im thinking that dating site post will be a bigger regret for him than the regret hitler felt when his gas bill dropped through the letterbox
Hopefully someone will say something. He deserves all the stick he gets... and more. |
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| VictorMeldrewsDad |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 611
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Whilst walking around Blundell Park
Someone to Tony made a remark
That he liked shagging grannies
With a really dry fannies
And his last girlfriend was as old as the arc
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| I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed. |
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| marinerian |
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Whilst Tony was alone in the dark
He decided he liked old granny Lark
She was around 102
And smelt like a nasty poo
But that was all he was able to do
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
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Grimsby's runt, they call him SNOOZE
It's his virginity he's hoping to lose
Anything for some randy lust
Young'un or old'un he's not fussed
Its the latter that he will probably choose
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| marinerian |
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Our mate the user called Snooze
I think he needs to lay off the booze
It's gone to his head
He likes his women (nearly) dead
And rants like a fool when Town lose
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I saw him in a taxi in Town (today - true and he looked a little sheepish)
He looked a bit like a clown
He definitely had a frown
I reckon he's feeling down
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| marinerian |
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Tony is now mates with Jozef
They both sit together in Row Z
The are on a conquest for mothers and daughters
To take them back to old Joze quaters
Elizabeth is sad
she doesn't want to share her dad
But would rather be dead than have Mr Hamilton
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| ginnywings |
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The post of Poet Laureate is safe.
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| barralad |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 13,165
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The post of Poet Laureate is safe.
Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate |
| I have an inferiority complex-It's not a very good one though. |
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| marinerian |
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My first attempt which started all these poems/lymerics off was easily the best! I declare myself the winner |
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| fivestarfish |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 566
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Humberside Police are searching for a man who has exposed himself to elderly women. Police say the man is wanted in at least six incidents.
The suspect is described as a white male, about 40 years old, with short brown hair, average tackle length, a medium build and about 5'10" tall.
Victims say he has a distinctive squeaky voice and an unpleasant smell.
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| marinerian |
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Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate
Mine was much better, stop bumming each other |
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| marinerian |
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Humberside Police are searching for a man who has exposed himself to elderly women. Police say the man is wanted in at least six incidents.
The suspect is described as a white male, about 40 years old, with short brown hair, average tackle length, a medium build and about 5'10" tall.
Victims say he has a distinctive squeaky voice and an unpleasant smell.
Or was it our Vicar? |
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| jock dock tower |
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It's hard to imagine the sight,
Of a knobhound stalking the night,
For a mummy or granny,
Or any old fanny,
That would would sooooooooothe this pervert's plight.
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| No attempt at ethical or social seduction can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred of the Tory party. So far as I'm concerned they're lower than vermin. Aneurin Bevan. |
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| Les Brechin |
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Moderator
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To the tune of "You fill up my senses"
He fills up his bedroom
With pics of old grannys
With packets of condoms
With smelly old muffs
Like a night out in Scunthorpe
With a dirty old fanny
Old G-T-F-C man
Will gas you again.
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| OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16149.16LATEST DONATION - FROM PROCEEDS OF THE FISHY PONTOON BUSTER GAME - JAN 2020 AMOUNT RAISED £125.64 |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Rep Score: +50 / -13
Location: Wrawby
Approval: +733
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This thread has done wanders for my depression, obviously not for yours Tony sorry
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| marinerian |
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There was a young man called tony
Whose willy was average n bony
His ad was quite bold
He likes em young, middle or old
The Fishy lads raised the tension
He's after their beaver n pension
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
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Approval: +733
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The fishy boys gave Tony some sh1t
Which he did not like 1 bit
We mocked hid love for old age (women)
Which he replied with a rage
but we still thinks he's a bloody t1t
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Approval: +733
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Our man Tony was having a moan
About the fellas we've had on loan
So we gave him some abuse
Like we didnt need another excuse
As this thread has shown
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| VictorMeldrewsDad |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 611
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There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
Gets my vote |
| I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed. |
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| Biccys |
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Moderator
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We now have our own "Mr Average",
Whose tastes we don't all agree with,
He likes wizened Grannies,
With gizzards for fannies
And threesomes with strangers his dream is.
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76,962
@biccysthefishy
£110,105
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| GrimRob |
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Moderator
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Oh super grey and whites
Come thrill me again
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| 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
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| topuphere666 |
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Vodka Drinker Posts: 6,444
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Oh super grey and whites
Come thrill me again
Your asking Hamilton to thrill you..... AGAIN !!
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Approval: +733
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Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it
sorry thats really my last one
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Guest User |
Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it
sorry thats really my last one
haha, it's a good one to sign off with! |
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There was a young man called Hammo
He trawled the web to get slammo
He wanted 18-80 fanny
He targets the kids and their nanny
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| LH |
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Only just seen this. Classic! Any songs to sing to him tonight?
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| pseudonym |
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Vodka Drinker Posts: 6,449
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No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Approval: +733
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No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.
Tonight in the Imp would be banter if he turned up |
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| 0ld timer |
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Brandy Drinker  Posts: 2,621
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No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.
you trying to put ideas into peoples heads terry |
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| ginnywings |
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Meths Drinker Posts: 21,500
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Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate
Are you not a fan of Duffy or don't you think women should be Poet Laureate? Never read any of her stuff myself ,so have no opinion. Civvys' limerick was pretty good though. |
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| ponnyfan |
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Surely this will find it's way to the classic thread page ? Biccy's?
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| The Icenian Prediction League Winner 2011 .......the first Champion! |
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| marinerian |
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Posts: 10,165
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Tony once sang a happy Tune
As he was dating Nanna Moon
He thought she was fit
But she dumped him really quick
When she realised he was a stinking loon
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| dazwev |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 913
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There once was a stinker called Tony
Who's passion for town was quite phoney
When he fancies some f@nny
You best lock up your granny
sorry, Squeeky's at home feeling lonely.
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 9,661
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Approval: +733
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There will be trouble tonight in the Imp
If theres an appearance from Tony the gimp
His odour you cannot ignore
but his voice will annoy you more
Another lyric about Grimsby's pimp
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| marinerian |
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Posts: 10,165
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There will be trouble tonight in the Imp
If theres an appearance from Tony the gimp
His odour you cannot ignore
but his voice will annoy you more
Another lyric about Grimsby's pimp
You are getting quite good at this, you have obviously learnt from the master |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Season Ticket Holder
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Rep Score: +50 / -13
Location: Wrawby
Approval: +733
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| marinerian |
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Civvy my bottom, he is a novice in the poet stakes |
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| Wrawby_Mariner |
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Civvy my bottom, he is a novice in the poet stakes
Oh I know your Ted Hughes in disguise |
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| VictorMeldrewsDad |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 611
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Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it
sorry thats really my last one
Now Wrawby has learned how to rhyme Some limericks of his are sublime Although he's no poet I think we all know it Will he now read them out at halftime? |
| I will never forget where I was the day Kennedy was stabbed. |
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| davmariner |
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Vodka Drinker Posts: 5,793
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I saw average Tone outside the stadium tonight... with friends! Shocked me.
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| Up The Mariners! |
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| pseudonym |
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Vodka Drinker Posts: 6,449
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I saw average Tone outside the stadium tonight... with friends! Shocked me.
He was in the Imp |
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Wonder if he thourght last nights ref had an average game. After all, it was a big decision to send Ollie off.
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| barralad |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 13,165
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Oh I know your Ted Hughes in disguise
Isn't Ted Hughes dead? Bloody good disguise.. |
| I have an inferiority complex-It's not a very good one though. |
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| bradzmilne |
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Whiskey Drinker Posts: 3,258
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18-80 slight strange or desperate |
| Sleep well Icey, Matty and Richard. Keep each other company up there xx
Back In The Big Time |
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| ska face |
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So, so good.
11 pages of excrement limericks, and I'm still laughing at that first post.
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