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Urgent Help Needed!!

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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 2:49pm
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Ok, so I'm on a boat trip from Kalkan (Turkey) to Kastellorizo (Greece) 12 of us on board and would you believe it, there's a couple of Scunny fans on here too, a father and son. So, to make this boat trip more pleasurable than it already is for me, and to make it a misery for them please feel free to post some Scunny put downs that I could cheekily drop into a conversation with them, if I get extremely bored! To be fair they're not a bad bunch, so if we go for a scale of 1-10, where 10 is brutal and one is quite friendly I'd be happy with some 9.5s🤣
I know there's some quite witty people here, so give it your best shot.
Hopefully this thread will see us through till tomorrow's match day thread.
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Theimperialcoroner
August 9, 2024, 2:52pm

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Ask them if UTI really does mean urinary tract infection.


Batch, Crombie, Moore K, Wiggington, Cumming, Waters, Bonnyman, Ford, Emson, Drinkell, Whymark. Love you all, You are the reason I'm on here. You've had help from Todd, Handyside, Futcher P, Groves, Mendonca, Macca etc etc etc. Up The Mariners!!!!!!!!!
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Les Brechin
August 9, 2024, 2:53pm

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Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant just sensible advice.



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BobbyCummingsTackle
August 9, 2024, 2:58pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant just sensible advice.


Oi!


Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant, just sound advice.
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Poojah
August 9, 2024, 2:59pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant just sensible advice.


There’s a very good reason they don’t hold beauty pageants in Scunny any more…

https://web.archive.org/web/20001209215200/http://www.vikingfm.co.uk/honey.htm


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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wuffing
August 9, 2024, 3:01pm

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If you want we can adopt you for a bit so you can watch some proper football...










'I walked in the dressing room. The window was open and I thought that a sea fret had got in. Then I saw smoke billowing from a pipe in the corner of the room...it was my centre-forward. He looked seven stone wet through. He went on to score thirty-odd goals that season.' Lawrie McMenemy on encountering the legend that was Matt Tees.
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always grimsby
August 9, 2024, 3:03pm
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Just ask them who they are playing tomorrow
And WHAT LEAGUE IS THAT
UTM
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jimgtfc
August 9, 2024, 3:12pm
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But if they’re both there…. Who’s going to support them tomorrow?


"Falls to Arnold... Arnold! That's it! Thats it! He's sealed it! Grimsby Town are back in the football league!!! Just a minute to go and Nathan Arnold makes it 3-1! Look at the scenes behind the goal! Look at the relief! The agony is finally over!!!"

John Tondeur - Wembley Stadium Sunday 15th May 2016
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Civvy at last
August 9, 2024, 3:34pm

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Interesting fact.
Scunthorpe is the only place in the UK where sports direct have a wedding department !!


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 3:37pm
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Some great put downs, guys. Didn't really want them to feel suicidal though
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