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Urgent Help Needed!!

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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 2:49pm
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Ok, so I'm on a boat trip from Kalkan (Turkey) to Kastellorizo (Greece) 12 of us on board and would you believe it, there's a couple of Scunny fans on here too, a father and son. So, to make this boat trip more pleasurable than it already is for me, and to make it a misery for them please feel free to post some Scunny put downs that I could cheekily drop into a conversation with them, if I get extremely bored! To be fair they're not a bad bunch, so if we go for a scale of 1-10, where 10 is brutal and one is quite friendly I'd be happy with some 9.5s🤣
I know there's some quite witty people here, so give it your best shot.
Hopefully this thread will see us through till tomorrow's match day thread.
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Theimperialcoroner
August 9, 2024, 2:52pm

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Ask them if UTI really does mean urinary tract infection.


Batch, Crombie, Moore K, Wiggington, Cumming, Waters, Bonnyman, Ford, Emson, Drinkell, Whymark. Love you all, You are the reason I'm on here. You've had help from Todd, Handyside, Futcher P, Groves, Mendonca, Macca etc etc etc. Up The Mariners!!!!!!!!!
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Les Brechin
August 9, 2024, 2:53pm

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Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant just sensible advice.



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BobbyCummingsTackle
August 9, 2024, 2:58pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant just sensible advice.


Oi!


Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant, just sound advice.
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Poojah
August 9, 2024, 2:59pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
Miss Scunthorpe. Not a beauty pageant just sensible advice.


There’s a very good reason they don’t hold beauty pageants in Scunny any more…

https://web.archive.org/web/20001209215200/http://www.vikingfm.co.uk/honey.htm


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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wuffing
August 9, 2024, 3:01pm

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If you want we can adopt you for a bit so you can watch some proper football...










'I walked in the dressing room. The window was open and I thought that a sea fret had got in. Then I saw smoke billowing from a pipe in the corner of the room...it was my centre-forward. He looked seven stone wet through. He went on to score thirty-odd goals that season.' Lawrie McMenemy on encountering the legend that was Matt Tees.
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always grimsby
August 9, 2024, 3:03pm
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Just ask them who they are playing tomorrow
And WHAT LEAGUE IS THAT
UTM
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jimgtfc
August 9, 2024, 3:12pm
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But if they’re both there…. Who’s going to support them tomorrow?


"Falls to Arnold... Arnold! That's it! Thats it! He's sealed it! Grimsby Town are back in the football league!!! Just a minute to go and Nathan Arnold makes it 3-1! Look at the scenes behind the goal! Look at the relief! The agony is finally over!!!"

John Tondeur - Wembley Stadium Sunday 15th May 2016
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Civvy at last
August 9, 2024, 3:34pm

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Interesting fact.
Scunthorpe is the only place in the UK where sports direct have a wedding department !!


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 3:37pm
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Some great put downs, guys. Didn't really want them to feel suicidal though
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lee65
August 9, 2024, 3:45pm
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"what times the kick off"..., "well what time can you get here?"  
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Limerick Mariner
August 9, 2024, 3:52pm
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Ask them why their league season started so early - they played Brigg Town about 3 weeks ago…
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promotion plaice
August 9, 2024, 4:05pm

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Ask them if Boston United play in their league.


When Leeds trainer Les Cocker was once told Norman Hunter had broken a leg, he asked: “Whose is it?”
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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 4:33pm
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Quoted from promotion plaice

Ask them if Boston United play in their league.


I like that!!
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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 5:37pm
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They've gone overboard now, couldn't take anymore
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gytone
August 9, 2024, 5:45pm
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Off topic a bit Kalkan is a  lovely place, have you gone to Meis with Osman ?
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DB
August 9, 2024, 5:46pm
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Quoted from Spidey
They've gone overboard now, couldn't take anymore


You could tell them a Black and White scarf will save them, using a claret and blue they might sink ( further).


You can please some of the forumites some of the time but not all the forumites all of the time
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Grimsby2012
August 9, 2024, 6:37pm

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Ask them how many pork pies do they need to sell to buy players.


Check out my hand made Star Wars Lightsabers

Dog Beds

Nordic Socks

Rain Drum
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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 8:06pm
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Quoted from gytone
Off topic a bit Kalkan is a  lovely place, have you gone to Meis with Osman ?


Hi mate, yeah gone with Osman booked before we left, he was highly recommended. It was a great trip. Never been to Turkey before, never really fancied it, but wow the people are so friendly and polite, not sure if that's true of all Turkey or just Kalkan. I'll certainly be coming again UTM.
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Spidey
August 9, 2024, 8:10pm
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Quoted from DB


You could tell them a Black and White scarf will save them, using a claret and blue they might sink ( further).



Like it!
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forza ivano
August 10, 2024, 12:53am

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Quoted from Spidey


Hi mate, yeah gone with Osman booked before we left, he was highly recommended. It was a great trip. Never been to Turkey before, never really fancied it, but wow the people are so friendly and polite, not sure if that's true of all Turkey or just Kalkan. I'll certainly be coming again UTM.


Turks are lovely people, just don't get on the wrong side of them!

being a Town fan just vow undying love of Besiktas and you will have friends for life
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Ruuger
August 10, 2024, 7:45am
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Quoted from forza ivano


Turks are lovely people, just don't get on the wrong side of them!

being a Town fan just vow undying love of Besiktas and you will have friends for life


I lived next to the Turkish quarter in Lammasol and they were very friendly and helpful, much more so than the Greek Cypriots.
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RonMariner
August 10, 2024, 2:29pm

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A mate of mine went to the Scunny ticket office with a couple of twenty pound notes and said ‘Two please’.

The guy behind the counter replied ‘Forwards or defenders?’
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