Mental Health

Love and kindness don’t cost anything but can be an emotional drain, that said, they’re what everyone needs.

My mate is politically an idiot, he does reckless things, acts a male private and so on, but I’m still kind to him, even when disagreeing.

I take DBs point about being first but I think it’s more than that; it’s about recognition or being seen but sadly, people expect or want that without doing anything. A carefully worded social media post to attract a response, some pictures or instant fame…they get that, then it disappears and they’re unable to cope.

Failure plays apart and thankfully sports teams have invested in psychology these days which helps.

Society does have an issue though and social media adds to that. Whilst I think social media has many positives, it’s a problem; I see kids sling on a Snapchat and genuinely go in to crisis if day only a handful of people see it. Similarly, I’ve seen it with adults. Gigs or sports events, people live the entire experience through their phone…do they truly enjoy it? Someone actually moaned at me and my mate at w gig because we were enjoying it and jumping around and it was knocking their phone…they were agitated and frustrated in a moment they should be free and loose…that affects mental health.

It has to stay up on the agenda and when nearly as many folk die world wide of suicide as other, more well known illnesses we have to keep dealing with it…

Common themes that seem to run through successful treatments for mental illness irrespective of approach, to a more a lesser degree are empathy, authenticity and a prizing and non judgmental attitude.

Regardless of whether that treatment is counselling, religion, psychological therapy or even interaction with a good friend, these qualities shine through. These are the antithesis to a lot of the root problems for much of the mental anguish people suffer with.

Every person suffers mental illness differently and an individual’s phenomenology should always be respected but these qualities seem to be universal.

It is then apparent that much of the trouble lies in the opposite of these areas.

Empathy is about being able to walk in someone else’s shoes and feeling that experience. This gives people the impression they’re not alone and are being heard.

When so much of modern life is fake, superficial and a veneer, the importance of authenticity cannot be understated. Being true to yourself, having self awareness and communicating that to others allows for trust and genuine rapport to be built.

Finally, having a non judgmental and unconditional warming attitude fights back against the constant judgment that is thrown at us. To know that you are prized regardless of your ‘worth’ to external influences is healing in itself. Habitually  we all fear being judged negatively. Sometimes good enough is fine, not being OK is Ok and perfection isn’t the be all and end all.

Aldi - kudos for teaching the programme to your children, it’s of paramount importance in my opinion. I think it better to try and teach our young properly so they are well rounded than bury our heads and try and fix ‘broken’ adults.

Quoted from aldi_01

Love and kindness don’t cost anything but can be an emotional drain, that said, they’re what everyone needs.

It has to stay up on the agenda and when nearly as many folk die world wide of suicide as other, more well known illnesses we have to keep dealing with it…

Top man Aldi.

You make a point I can recognise personally. I have just recently given up a job looking after and helping fostered children who's parents are drug addicts and the like and who are in danger of commiting criminal acts. Reason being is I have serious physical health issues of my own which was affecting me emotionally on a deep level. I found dealing with such children put extra pressure on me and I was struggling.

I imagine for others like yourself it's still tough at times dealing with affected people. Your only human and as the mum of one of best friends who died a horrendous death at 19 due to natural illness said to me you need to look after and preserve yourself before you can help others .If your not right how can you be in a  position to energise others for the better .

Quoted from Sandford1981

Finally, having a non judgmental and unconditional warming attitude fights back against the constant judgment that is thrown at us. To know that you are prized regardless of your ‘worth’ to external influences is healing in itself. Habitually  we all fear being judged negatively. Sometimes good enough is fine, not being OK is Ok and perfection isn’t the be all and end all.

.

Nice words Sandford. I always go back to what Mother Theresa said though. " A lot of the world's problems are caused by lack love".

Interesting story I know of that doesn't just apply to religion but across the board at its heart. I went to Mount St Bernards abbey in Leicestershire for a few days. Monks there only ask for voluntary contributions if that and all food and board is provided . Justin Fashanu the first 1 million black footballer stayed there as well who sadly took his own life at a later date . Like him he said it was a very healing place to go.

A lad there I met had a very tough past but the monks there with warm and love helped heal the hurt and pain he had over his life and over time after continually visiting the place changed for the better.

Nice sentiments from someone who shared this on twitter which I've just seen:

Mental health is no joke. There are times when we can be overwhelmed and need time to recharge. Never make fun of those who suffer. Encouragement goes a long way.

Br Chris Garcia

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention day. The message below is from Healthwatch NELC

Every year organisations and communities
around the world come together to raise
awareness of how we can create a world
where fewer people die by suicide.
Each year has a different theme and focus,
to bring to light a specific aspect of suicide
prevention.
Below you can find some useful links for
information, advice and guidance around
mental health.
Kooth
Qwell
NAViGO
Samaritan

Unfortunately, I couldn't get the links for these 4 sites when I cut and pasted but they will be on Google. If anyone does need to talk please PM me and I'll get back to you.

Kooth are excellent for teenagers, did a lot of work with them when I had a brief spell working for the local authority.

Samaritans are great although volunteering for them can be hard, they’re set in their ways a little but supper service users get is beyond helpful. Navigator are great and locally, Harrison House offer triage/A&E type services which can be super helpful, you can also just go and sit in their foyer/cafe and use it as a safe space if required.

I’ve said for a long time that suicide is the pandemic, in my other professional role as a member of MAPPA I do a lot of work with prisons/prisoners although not always direct, often from a strategic/policy level but you get hear and see and it’s rife. They say drugs are a problem in prisons, so is suicide. See harm is prevalent but research tells us men are more likely to be extreme and then go for the jugular so to speak.

It’s tragic. Seriously tragic. People have been accused of becoming blasé about Covid, it’s been like that towards suicide for a number of years yet little is done to slow the rate, in fact the opposite, services being cut back and funding drying up for various reasons.

Only yesterday I had to deal with a parent who’s son can’t bet the mental health support required Becauee of pressures within the service and them not necessarily having the staff required for the work. She’s a single mum, low income so highly unlikely to be able to afford private and now her son is threatening taking overdoses…the only time she’s not worried is when he’s in school Becauee he’s essentially monitored 100% of the time.

We’re in the midst of a mental health and social care crisis and whilst the government are breaking manifesto pledges all over and claiming the tax in crease will cover it (they also promised 350m a week for the nhs that never materialised and never will) the simple fact is, the damage is already done.

Since 2010 I’ve worked exclusively with some of the most vulnerable children in our society and year on year we’re expected to provide more and support more and every year we’re given less and less…naturally this goes on to impact adult social care and generally the justice system. Short termism and the rich getting richer is something we expect from conservative governments but it’s beyond that now…

We have to champion the work of the dedicated people and support the survivors and their families…as I said, kindness and empathy don’t cost anything…that’s a start…

Open up to people and dont keep negative stuff in. It could be the difference between life and death for some.

Nice story from this once young football media celebratory who got a trial with Ajax.

https://www.fifa.com/news/sonny-pike-the-wonderkid-who-put-mental-health-first

Quoted from Rick12

Open up to people and dont keep negative stuff in. It could be the difference between life and death for some.

Nice story from this once young football media celebratory who got a trial with Ajax.

https://www.fifa.com/news/sonny-pike-the-wonderkid-who-put-mental-health-first

You make a very good point Rick, dwelling on negatives does not help.

I've met many people who also think too much about the past, and then get upset that they can't do what they use to, earn what they use, etc. The past is great it's where we come from, it's our own personal history, but it is the past and to me should be left there and not dwelt on.

I think it is better if people try to accept current situations for what they are and manage them. Life is not a bed of roses but we can remember the past, learn from it, keep the memories and move on. It is the moving on that helps us cope.