Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

Quoted from mariner91

Shut it you I have a job just don't have many hours.

Are you Santa  

Quoted from spynner

How many people do we think have actually read this now?
105,000 on here, on all the other sites and not forgetting all the emails and texts flying around with it ...........
Guess time... 250,000 to 500,00 people?
What do ya think?

I'm sure Santa, I mean Mariner91 will sort it  

Quoted from Poojah

Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your ‘performance’ (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.

In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and wánking furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little píssflaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely fúck all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you’ve been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it’s only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don’t bother packing your toothbrush – you won’t need it.

In the event that our beloved chairman can’t afford the expense (understandable given that he’s soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I’ll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.

Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate bástards; leave this club now and don’t you fúcking dare look back. You’ve consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth’s scrótum, so frankly you can just all fúck off – don’t pass go, don’t collect your wages, don’t ever come back to this town again.

I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald’s drive-thru in the near future.

Yours sincerely


A very disillusioned Mariner

Poojah

I have to say this and being an ex Proffessional footballer, I agree with every word you said about the players recent performances and I assume that the Bath cup game was the final straw.

It as took me all of a week to get over the Bath fiasco, or should I say total disaster and when I read your post I was absolutly in awe at what you put together, it is bloody hard for me as an ex Town player whose black and white Town shirt means so much to me to see these performances of recent years.

All we expect of the Town players is guts and energy which to my mind is not a great deal to ask for, because I have always said this about Town supporters is if you show you are trying they will back you till the hilt.

Then on Tuesday after the Bath game, Town played quite well against Leeds United, but then again we were on Sky, and come on boys we are in the shop window, we have got to put some effort into this game.

The crunch believe you me is today against Northampton and Lincoln City away next week.
Well done Poojah a master piece post probally the best one ever on the Fishy.
OLDFOOTBALLER

Add West Ham to the list, and good post Dave shame the players dont have your heart!!!!!

Only few of players even know about this letter, never mind reading it. Might have reached most of the uk football message boards but still hasn't reached GTFC players.

Just been read out on Humberside.

Poojah take a bow my friend!!!!!

Quoted from Alfie

Just been read out on Humberside.

Unexpurgated, or a tidy version

Very tidy version lol

Quoted from theicenian

Unexpurgated, or a tidy version

Only a few lines, obviously.

But they talked about it for a good four or five minutes.

what did they say ?