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Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

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MarinerWY
November 8, 2009, 12:40am Report to Moderator

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I think you're being incredibly harsh. I thought we played excellently, we were just unlucky. The players gave their all, definitely - the motivation and determination was there.
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Rhys_Mariners
November 8, 2009, 1:14am Report to Moderator
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cracking post
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chiangmaimariner
November 8, 2009, 4:41am Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Poojah
Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC

I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your ‘performance’ (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.

In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and wánking furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.

I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little píssflaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely fúck all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.

You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.

I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you’ve been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it’s only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.

I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the Easyjet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don’t bother packing your toothbrush – you won’t need it.

In the event that our beloved chairman can’t afford the expense (understandable given that he’s soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I’ll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.

Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.

So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate bástards; leave this club now and don’t you fúcking dare look back. You’ve consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth’s scrótum, so frankly you can just all fúck off – don’t pass go, don’t collect your wages, don’t ever come back to this town again.

I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald’s drive-thru in the near future.

Yours sincerely


A very disillusioned Mariner



I'm pretty good at "reading between the lines" and pinpointing what the sender is really all about.

I'd say Poojah isn't very happy with GTFC at the moment....


If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
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Mingmariner
November 8, 2009, 9:11am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from chiangmaimariner


I'm pretty good at "reading between the lines" and pinpointing what the sender is really all about.

I'd say Poojah isn't very happy with GTFC at the moment....


Is anybody?
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ginnywings
November 8, 2009, 10:16am Report to Moderator

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That should be read out in the dressing room before the Leeds game.

Mind you,they are probably too thick to understand it.
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In Cod We Trust
November 8, 2009, 10:30am Report to Moderator

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I think that's the best post I've ever read on this forum.


Quoted from wycombemariner
5 years minimum if we go down, you mark my words!
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dapperz fun pub
November 8, 2009, 10:51am Report to Moderator
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what a load of tosh maccy Ds wouldnt give this lot a job,well maybe sweeping the yard but nothing complicated
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Poojah
November 8, 2009, 11:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarinerWY
The players gave their all, definitely - the motivation and determination was there.


If what you're saying is true then don't you think we have an even bigger problem? We gave our all, were motivated and determined yet somehow still got played off the park by a semi-professional side two divisions below us. And let's be honest, Bath aren't a non-league side brimming with confidence either - they're in the bottom half of their respective division!

I've said it before but it's clear to me that our players are losers in their own mind. They need to go, the lot of them, for us to make a fresh start - the thing is, that can't happen until May at the earliest, and I fear that may be too late.


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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MarinerWY
November 8, 2009, 12:00pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Poojah


If what you're saying is true then don't you think we have an even bigger problem? We gave our all, were motivated and determined yet somehow still got played off the park by a semi-professional side two divisions below us. And let's be honest, Bath aren't a non-league side brimming with confidence either - they're in the bottom half of their respective division!

I've said it before but it's clear to me that our players are losers in their own mind. They need to go, the lot of them, for us to make a fresh start - the thing is, that can't happen until May at the earliest, and I fear that may be too late.



No I wasn't being serious - I was waiting for somebody to bite, was on a wind-up.

I gather we were flipping shite.
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bordois
November 8, 2009, 12:04pm Report to Moderator

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Quoted from Poojah


It's already gone.


I think you should contact Fenty and request to read it to the players personally..... or use a megaphone at Cheapside if that fails.

Excellent post!


You can't polish a turd!
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