Mental Health

Quoted from 123614

At 23 years old I joined the Army and to a certain extent the mental health problem became reduced in it's severity, probably because I was drunk half the time!  However, in certain jobs it returned and never went away, then 20 years after I left the Army I was diagnosed with PTSD.  This started with me having really strange nightmares, that really scared me, but after 6 weeks of seeing a psychologist, the nightmares stopped.



I DO talk to people about this, and it does help, so to anyone suffering with mental health problems, just talk, people will listen, and on the whole will be sympathetic.

Good to see your opening up Bear. Just recently listened on audible from a lad in the army who suffered a lot emotionally. As you say opening up and getting help makes a positive difference.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brothers-Arms-Friends-Unlikely-Heroes/dp/1529000408

Quoted from Sandford1981

I love the fact neither party is trying to hide or sugarcoat it. The more it is normalised by people in prominent positions the better. It shows people really aren’t alone and mental illness doesn’t discriminate. It can and will effect anyone and everyone irrespective of background and standing.

How are you doing LH?

Sorry - just seen this. Loads better this year. Started gym work in Feb to improve my golf. It didn’t work for that but I’ve stuck at it and I’m there four days a week, doing a long run once a week and out walking at least 3 miles a day with the dog too.

Keeping fit and active, eating well and having medium and long term targets help so much with my mental health.

It's good to read your post Bear and how you are coping. Also well done to LH and I hope you're better than last year.

Thank you guys

Quoted from 123614

Mental Health is something I have had to live with for the past 57 years.  I was 20 years old when I started having these strange feelings in my chest, and if driving, had to stop and sit on the side of the road to wait for it to stop.  

At 23 years old I joined the Army and to a certain extent the mental health problem became reduced in it's severity, probably because I was drunk half the time!  However, in certain jobs it returned and never went away, then 20 years after I left the Army I was diagnosed with PTSD.  This started with me having really strange nightmares, that really scared me, but after 6 weeks of seeing a psychologist, the nightmares stopped.

What prompted the PTSD diagnosis was the fact that I was always suspicious at what was going on around me.  I couldn't have people walking up closely behind me, I had to stop and let them pass.  I couldn't travel on public transport, especially when it was full, and also could not attend gatherings of large amounts of people.  I also have to sit facing a door if I am in a café or any other public place so I can see who is coming in, and what they are doing.  To this day, these incidents still happen.  I guess it's a cross I have to bear, but at least I am doing that without taking the medication I was originally prescribed, as that stuff sent me loopy.

I DO talk to people about this, and it does help, so to anyone suffering with mental health problems, just talk, people will listen, and on the whole will be sympathetic.

I generally (obviously everyone is different but it’s helped me to frame it this way) liken my and many mental illnesses to being in recovery for addiction. It’s cliche but it’s a journey and not a destination.

It’s a chronic and emotional battle that, you are truly never free of,  it’s necessary to adapt your life, behaviours and attitude to live with it, relapses are a possibility and it’s bloody exhausting as well as hard going.

I do take medication which doesn’t cure my illness but helps me keep a lid on it. I honestly don’t see a time when I don’t but we never really know what the future holds for us.

I’m so glad that people are still finding their way on to this thread and being open about their struggles because it’s so personal. Unequivocally and categorically it helps other people do the same and that has to be a good thing.

Quoted from Sandford1981

I generally (obviously everyone is different but it’s helped me to frame it this way) liken my and many mental illnesses to being in recovery for addiction. It’s cliche but it’s a journey and not a destination.

It’s a chronic and emotional battle that, you are truly never free of,  it’s necessary to adapt your life, behaviours and attitude to live with it, relapses are a possibility and it’s bloody exhausting as well as hard going.

I do take medication which doesn’t cure my illness but helps me keep a lid on it. I honestly don’t see a time when I don’t but we never really know what the future holds for us.

I’m so glad that people are still finding their way on to this thread and being open about their struggles because it’s so personal. Unequivocally and categorically it helps other people do the same and that has to be a good thing.

I hear you brother, and I’m in the same boat as you so let’s stick together. It’s a battle every day. I’m sure my medication helps but the side effects are a huge offset for me. I just try to start again everyday. And I accept my own need to release with tears. I’ve always found that to be immensely helpful and I’d advise any fellow sufferer not to constrain or repress that. Listen to music and cry your eyes out. It does actually help. And, if you can access therapy then do. Don’t be afraid. It’s the best medical intervention you can get. Talk, listen and study. It’s what I did and it really helped me make sense. As you say…..the journey goes on, but there’s nothing worse than being in crisis or the edge of crisis. If you can pull yourself back from the metaphorical cliff, and accept that you’re not going to give up, that’s progress.

Quoted from chaos33

I hear you brother, and I’m in the same boat as you so let’s stick together. It’s a battle every day. I’m sure my medication helps but the side effects are a huge offset for me. I just try to start again everyday. And I accept my own need to release with tears. I’ve always found that to be immensely helpful and I’d advise any fellow sufferer not to constrain or repress that. Listen to music and cry your eyes out. It does actually help. And, if you can access therapy then do. Don’t be afraid. It’s the best medical intervention you can get. Talk, listen and study. It’s what I did and it really helped me make sense. As you say…..the journey goes on, but there’s nothing worse than being in crisis or the edge of crisis. If you can pull yourself back from the metaphorical cliff, and accept that you’re not going to give up, that’s progress.

It is indeed progress and that’s key for me-you have to take the wins no matter how big or small.
When I first had my break down people were worried for me and my best mate asked me if I was thinking of doing anything daft. Firstly I wasn’t as I’m petrified of death but secondly It made me realise that it wasn’t that I wanted to die but more that I just did not want to live like that anymore. To suffer.

I agree on the crying element and I think I may have mentioned previously there’s science behind that notion because emotional  tears (rather than functionary ones) have increased stress hormones in them. But 100% it’s cathartic and wholly beneficial if you can get over the shame of it (as a child growing up in the 80s I was ridiculed for being overly sensitive and crying anytime I did).

Repression is an absolute killer though and should  be strenuously avoided. It’s a curious self defence mechanism because it does nothing of the sort in real terms, not really.

Really good to read this lads. Since 2019 I've become a bit of a shouter when it comes to opening up and talking to someone. It can and will help. Keep going lads ❤️ utm

I would also add - please get therapy if you can access it. 100%. Sure, I sobbed through a fair few chunks of time with my therapist but I learned so much about the human condition and I read loads of material to broaden my understanding of how I was feeling. I think the condition outlined above about not contemplating  suicide but not wanting to live is absolutely correct and resonant. Having lost my Mum to suicide at age 19 there’s no way I could inflict that on the people who care about me, not least my young children, but not wanting to be here is an engulfing and overwhelming emotional state and I absolutely understand how people take that step. Hibernation would’ve been a solution if it was a real thing, but I think that there must be so many people who experience that enormous sense of wanting to opt out of life. It does pass, or becomes less frequent or intense, but medication, therapy, talking, friendship and some form of activity - for me - walking, especially hillwalking are restorative and comforting and medicinal. One day at a time lads. One day at a time. ❤️

Quoted from chaos33

I would also add - please get therapy if you can access it. 100%. Sure, I sobbed through a fair few chunks of time with my therapist but I learned so much about the human condition and I read loads of material to broaden my understanding of how I was feeling. I think the condition outlined above about not contemplating  suicide but not wanting to live is absolutely correct and resonant. Having lost my Mum to suicide at age 19 there’s no way I could inflict that on the people who care about me, not least my young children, but not wanting to be here is an engulfing and overwhelming emotional state and I absolutely understand how people take that step. Hibernation would’ve been a solution if it was a real thing, but I think that there must be so many people who experience that enormous sense of wanting to opt out of life. It does pass, or becomes less frequent or intense, but medication, therapy, talking, friendship and some form of activity - for me - walking, especially hillwalking are restorative and comforting and medicinal. One day at a time lads. One day at a time. ❤️

When I was training to become a counsellor it was a requirement (among other conditions) to have a set amount of personal therapy without which you could not become qualified as set out by the BACP.
I had received therapy immediately after my breakdown but it was more CBT based than what I would deem a ‘proper’ talking therapy. It helped and it inspired me down the path I chose.

However, it was not a touch on the therapy that my participation on the degree course required me to have. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a grounded more healthier state of mind as when I was having it and for a period after it.
It was not easy for me though and I fought tooth and nail just to get through the door at times. Often I’d drive myself round the block having this internal battle with myself. I’d cry for a lot of the sessions and they were so intense, uncomfortable and utterly exhausting. Often before, during and after was like an out of body experience.

Therapy and the course undoubtedly changed me immeasurably and for the better. I hold Vicky and Dave (my learning tutors) in the highest regard possible and view them as absolute heroes and role models. They are up there with the best people I’ve had the pleasure to meet.

Things did not work out for me in the way I envisioned but those 2 incredibly fierce years gave me so much.
I would recommend counselling to anyone but paradoxically I don’t think I’d could go back to it right now. I may need to in the not so distant future but I’m not sure.