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Les Brechin
June 3, 2009, 1:42pm

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That trampolines were originally intented only to be used by tramps...


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mike the mariner
June 3, 2009, 2:09pm

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Tomatoes were invented by a man call Tom Atoes. He also lived in a glass house and he never threw stones.
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Les Brechin
June 3, 2009, 2:22pm

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And Boots was originally a footwear shop.


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Green27
June 3, 2009, 2:26pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
And Boots was originally a footwear shop.


First shop was opened in Hockley Nottingham but that bits true.  


We do the DN35 Podcast
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Civvy at last
June 3, 2009, 5:10pm

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Groucho Marx and Frank Spencer got together to open a chain of shops. Frank got to choose the name.

And that's how Waitrose began  


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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mike the mariner
June 3, 2009, 8:15pm

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Shapes with more than 4 sides are banned in Scotland.
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lukeo
June 4, 2009, 6:35am
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Lukeo..












is actually a Grimsby Fan
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Biccys
June 4, 2009, 8:05am
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Now you're just being ridiculous Lukeo...


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mike the mariner
June 4, 2009, 3:26pm

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That Piers Morgan is actually a slug that cleverly disguised as a human.  
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Civvy at last
June 4, 2009, 3:46pm

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That the bloke called Ken who has a chain of fast food outlets advertised by Colonel Saunders has the worlds longest surname.

Tuckyfriedchicken.  


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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mike the mariner
June 4, 2009, 6:19pm

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That Johnny Rotten got his name from an 18 year old condom that was found on a tour bus by Sid Vicious.
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Green27
June 4, 2009, 9:35pm
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Did you know that Van Morrison was born in a gym while Jim Morrison was born in a van.


We do the DN35 Podcast
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barralad
June 4, 2009, 10:20pm
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Bears s**t in the woods?


The aim of argument or discussion should not be victory but progress.

Joseph Joubert.
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Les Brechin
June 4, 2009, 10:21pm

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That Big Brother contestants are only allowed to enter the Big Brother house if they have a Big Brother.


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mike the mariner
June 5, 2009, 12:33am

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That what appears to be a birthmark on the head of Mikhail Gorbachev, was in fact a stain from a beetroot sandwich mishap.  
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Civvy at last
June 7, 2009, 12:20pm

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No-one in Albert Square owns a washing machine.


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Green27
June 7, 2009, 2:01pm
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There are 23 different ways to toss yourself off.


We do the DN35 Podcast
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mike the mariner
June 7, 2009, 3:53pm

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That mental hospitals, scrotum's and squirrels will soon all be required to have a 'May contain nuts' sign in full view to members of the public. It's health and safety gone mad.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 4:27pm
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that Old McDonald had a farm (E-I-E-I-O) and on that farm he had a cow, and from that one cow he now owns the world's largest fast food chain?


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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 4:28pm
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that Topic bar's have a nut in every bite but then again so does squirrel shit?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 4:36pm
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that if you tape your eyelids back and then sneeze your eyeballs will not fly out of their sockets?

However your ears will fall off.


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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mike the mariner
June 7, 2009, 4:39pm

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That earwigs are woven into small hair pieces that old men wear in their ears.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 4:41pm
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that Stella Artois is a real person? She runs a brewery just outside Leuven and her husband is called Rene.

Also that there is actually a Monty Python. He was a pawnbroker from Leeds who died in 1973. However he did not own a flying circus. It actually belonged to his younger brother Byron Python.


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mike the mariner
June 7, 2009, 4:55pm

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That Special K was invented after a large lady with learning difficulties started to lose weight after eating two bowls of Potpourri and a balanced evening meal each day.
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Les Brechin
June 7, 2009, 6:15pm

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Channel 4 are trying to win the ratings battle by combining hospital drama with a home improvement, house-hunting reality show. Working title is Dislocation Dislocation.


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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 6:22pm
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that contrary to popular belief you cannot get all the people who live on the UK mainland onto the Isle of Wight?

However you can get all of the people who live on the Isle of Wight onto the UK mainland.


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 6:25pm
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that the Second World War actually took place between 1925 and 1931 but following decimalisation in 1971 it was moved to 1939 to 1945?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Les Brechin
June 7, 2009, 6:27pm

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Robert Mugabe is in fact a Yorkshireman but reversed his actual surname E-ba-gum when he became President of Zimbabwe.


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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 6:28pm
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that for bookmakers to pay out for a White Christmas a snowflake has to fall on the roof of the London Weather Centre on Christmas Day? However this will never happen as the London Weather Centre is the only office building in Britain not to have a roof.


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 6:31pm
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that the classic comedy 'Dad's Army' never actually existed?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Les Brechin
June 7, 2009, 6:31pm

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The phrase 'Jesus wept' was invented when said messiah banged his thumb with a hammer whilst building a chair in his dad's workshop. They thought it better to say he was crying than be factually correct. I mean, 'Jesus said balderdash that flipping hurt' doesn't quite have the same ring to it.


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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 6:36pm
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that it was Yogi Bear who invented television and it was John Logie Baird who ran around Jellystone National Park with his mate Boo-Boo?


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mike the mariner
June 7, 2009, 7:03pm

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That William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam.  
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 7:11pm
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that if you drop a television set and a feather from the top of a skyscraper the television set is more likely to kill someone if it lands on their head than the feather would?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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mike the mariner
June 7, 2009, 7:15pm

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That red apples are just embarrassed green apples.
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mike the mariner
June 7, 2009, 7:21pm

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That on occasions, during the night, Jewish people cover grass with a light spray of water which we refer to as the morning dew. They changed the spelling to throw us off the scent.
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barralad
June 7, 2009, 7:36pm
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You two REALLY should get out more!


The aim of argument or discussion should not be victory but progress.

Joseph Joubert.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 8:46pm
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that if you play the Beatles song 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' backwards you can actually hear John Lennon saying "Bollocks, Yoko wanted me to get some cat food from Fine Fare and it'll be shut now. She'll go ape shit"?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 8:48pm
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that Jeremy Clarkson is actually a hologram?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 8:50pm
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that if you walk from Land's End to John O'Groats on your hands you'll look a right cunt?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Les Brechin
June 7, 2009, 9:23pm

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Newcastle striker Shola Amoeba is the smallest footballer in the world.

Its hard to be big when you are a single cell organism.


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Green27
June 7, 2009, 9:24pm
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When it rains it's actually god having a wee and when it snows well lets not get in to that shall we.  


We do the DN35 Podcast
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 9:29pm
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that if you eat too much jelly you'll wobble?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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grimsby pete
June 7, 2009, 10:22pm

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Quoted from kingofthekippers
that if you eat too much jelly you'll wobble?


I must stop eating jelly.


                             Over 37 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
                             69 Years following the Town

                              Life member of Trust

                               First game   April 1955
                               
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 10:59pm
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that the original storyline for Minder was about Arthur Daley and his relationship with Er Indoors and accordingly the show was called Mind Her?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 11:04pm
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that contrary to popular belief Adolf Hitler did not have just one testicle? He actually had five.


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 7, 2009, 11:19pm
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that Jaffa Cakes cannot reproduce as they have no seeds?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Biccys
June 8, 2009, 8:47am
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That the human intestines, if strung out in a straight line, will probably not work again?


11,167

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[url]https://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/causes/mariners-trust/[/url]
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Green27
June 8, 2009, 10:52am
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Leaves on trees are green so they can camouflage themselves against the generic army tanks.


We do the DN35 Podcast
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Les Brechin
June 8, 2009, 3:04pm

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Macca Bilk is the Scottish identical twin brother of renowned Jazz band leader Aker Bilk.


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kingofthekippers
June 8, 2009, 3:15pm
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that if you tipped newsreader Peter Levy on his head all the change would fall out of his pockets?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 8, 2009, 3:16pm
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that Queen of the South were originally called Poof of the North?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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kingofthekippers
June 8, 2009, 4:15pm
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that Arthur Askey once played drums for Roxy Music?


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Sharks only attack you when your wet
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Baker Street underground station is so-named because it was formerly the site of the world's largest branch of Greggs.


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Definitely the funniest thread of the summer


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Contrary to popular belief, Johnny Ball is neither a Ball nor a popular form of contraception


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Eastenders Samatha Janus has a brother called Hugh
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Cold Potatoes aint hot
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that ghosts do not believe in humans?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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During the festive period there are only 25 letters in the alphabet.



























Noel.


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In the 80's a consortium of Texan Millionaires were willing to pay big money for Dock Tower as their new Las Vegas Casino, they finally opted for Number 64 Falwing Way, Hackney.


We do the DN35 Podcast
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My cat has bird flu
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Athletes competed in the nude in the ancient Olympics
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After the main love of his life, himself, Robbie Williams also has a fascination for geometry. Many people around the world share his passion for mathematics, which probably explains the global success of his best known song Angles.


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judas priest ....wasnt a man of god


<*(((><

    Town have given me some of my highest highs and my lowest lows ........ God it is like a marriage
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that Peter Crouch has to wear a red light on his head whenever he is in public so as to alert low-flying aircraft to his presence?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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And Shaun Wright-Phillips has to wear a bright flourescent jacket and a bell round his neck when he goes out in public so that he does not get trodden on.


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June 11, 2009, 7:44am
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Quoted from Les Brechin
Baker Street underground station is so-named because it was formerly the site of the world's largest branch of Greggs.


One for Wrawby; Baker Street underground station is the only one on the network where the pink and brown lines intersect...


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Quoted from MaccaBilk


One for Wrawby; Baker Street underground station is the only one on the network where the pink and brown lines intersect...


Yeah I've hears that Tube Station is a bit of a slut.


We do the DN35 Podcast
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barralad
June 11, 2009, 11:53am
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Canaries are banned from the Canary Islands. They are though welcome in Ibiza.


The aim of argument or discussion should not be victory but progress.

Joseph Joubert.
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that accoriding to the United Nations Bradford is a bigger menace to world health that the Ebola virus?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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grimsby pete
June 11, 2009, 5:53pm

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Did you know , this is my 2,500 post,

Hooray !!  Open the brandy


                             Over 37 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
                             69 Years following the Town

                              Life member of Trust

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grimsby pete
June 11, 2009, 5:55pm

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Mind you I have been here before,

Some bug ger knicked a lot of my posts,  


                             Over 37 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
                             69 Years following the Town

                              Life member of Trust

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kingofthekippers
June 11, 2009, 7:26pm
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that prior to the introduction of numbers on shirts players had to carry large placards with their names on during the game?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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that BMW stands for Bob Marley and the Wailers?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Citymariner
June 11, 2009, 8:52pm
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...Butlers back problem was due to him working hard.
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Quoted from Green27


Yeah I've hears that Tube Station is a bit of a slut.


This isnt a porn site
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Les Brechin
June 12, 2009, 12:05am

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90's pop star Seal, famous for songs such as 'Crazy' and 'Killer', can't swim and doesn't ever eat fish.

He will, however, clap his hands together if you wave a tin of sardines at him.


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Civvy at last
June 12, 2009, 8:41am

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That if all the girls in Scuthorpe were laid end to end................















I wouldn't be at all surprised


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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kingofthekippers
June 13, 2009, 11:21pm
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that Miss Piggy is actually a lesbian and that she flirted with Kermit to cover her affair with Janice, the guitarist on the resident muppet band Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Civvy at last
June 14, 2009, 10:29am

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Nowhere in the film Zulu does Michael Cain say "Don't throw, bloody spears, at me"


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Civvy at last
June 14, 2009, 10:32am

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That in the original script of the Terminator, Arnold Swortsanagaur (SP?) was asked.  "If you could be any
composer living or dead who would you be? "

The answer was the infamous.

I'll be Bach  

It's true, I swear, I got told by a London cabby.  


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Black Haddock
June 14, 2009, 11:09am
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That Red Rum was really a sea horse with an outer coat on.


With a peccadillo like mine, you wouldn't want to meet me.

Watching THE TOWN sober isn't an option!

[img]http://users.skynet.be/cbbiochimie/La%20chouffe.jpg[/img]
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Black Haddock
June 14, 2009, 11:12am
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That history often gets in wrong;

Lawrance of Arabia used to run around carrying a bedpan all the time, dressed as a woman.  His real name was Florence of Arabia!


With a peccadillo like mine, you wouldn't want to meet me.

Watching THE TOWN sober isn't an option!

[img]http://users.skynet.be/cbbiochimie/La%20chouffe.jpg[/img]
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Les Brechin
June 14, 2009, 12:47pm

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That Black Haddock is neither black nor a haddock but is in fact a rainbow trout and similarly Macca Bilk is not related to John McDermott and has never been caught driving away from petrol stations without paying for fuel.    


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kingofthekippers
June 14, 2009, 3:42pm
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that the immortal film line "You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!" was first used in a porn film starring Jim Morrison and his band?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Wrawby_Mariner
June 14, 2009, 3:46pm
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In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
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Black Haddock
June 14, 2009, 4:35pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
That Black Haddock is neither black nor a haddock but is in fact a rainbow trout

    


Now that is a Red Herring and just a little fishy if you ask me!

BH.


With a peccadillo like mine, you wouldn't want to meet me.

Watching THE TOWN sober isn't an option!

[img]http://users.skynet.be/cbbiochimie/La%20chouffe.jpg[/img]
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Civvy at last
June 17, 2009, 11:43am

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That Kingofthekippers is neither a King or a Kipper, but Civvie at last is now indeed a Civilain (at last).


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Biccys
June 17, 2009, 12:17pm
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Quoted from Civvy at last
That Kingofthekippers is neither a King or a Kipper, but Civvie at last is now indeed a Civilain (at last).


Freudian typo?


11,167

76,962

@biccysthefishy

£110,105

[url]https://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/causes/mariners-trust/[/url]
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kingofthekippers
June 17, 2009, 10:25pm
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that in the A-Team BA Baracus was actually an expert, qualified pilot and only faked a fear of flying because was too mean to buy his own hamburgers?


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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Les Brechin
June 17, 2009, 11:02pm

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All of us, if we have unprotected sex with infected partners, run the risk of contracting HIV Aids. Lorry drivers have it worse. They face the added risk of contracting HGV Aids.


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kingofthekippers
June 17, 2009, 11:06pm
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Quoted from Les Brechin
All of us, if we have unprotected sex with infected partners, run the risk of contracting HIV Aids. Lorry drivers have it worse. They face the added risk of contracting HGV Aids.


The risk is greater if you come from Wales or Bristol. Then you could be a victim of HTV Aids.


Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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MaccaBilk
June 17, 2009, 11:51pm
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Famous Australian actress, Nicole Kidman, has a shop down Cleethorpe Road, Grimsby.


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Les Brechin
July 15, 2009, 2:09pm

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If you overdose on Haliborange tablets you have a marginally greater chance of turning into an orange than a halibut.


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grimsby pete
July 15, 2009, 2:16pm

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The older you get the more you know,

BUT

The less you can do.


                             Over 37 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
                             69 Years following the Town

                              Life member of Trust

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topuphere666
July 15, 2009, 3:59pm
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my dog, eats my cats poo
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grimsby pete
July 15, 2009, 4:37pm

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Quoted from topuphere666
my dog, eats my cats poo


My dog licks my cats bum.


                             Over 37 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
                             69 Years following the Town

                              Life member of Trust

                               First game   April 1955
                               
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Civvy at last
July 15, 2009, 5:05pm

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That the current Manager of Hull City is a registered Haliborange addict (see Les's post above).  


The wife was going away for a girly weekend.
I jokingly remarked  'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football'
'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied
That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked

She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  
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Les Brechin
December 20, 2009, 10:20pm

Moderator
Posts: 23,840
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Location: Grimsby
Approval: +12,746
Gold Stars: 175
Ladies in the Norfolk town of Fakenham never have real orgasms.


[img]https://news.images.itv.com/image/file/402260/image_update_img.jpg[/img]
OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER FOR THE BRAIN TUMOUR CHARITY
TOTAL AMOUNT RAISED SINCE AUGUST 2008 £16613.24

LATEST DONATION - FROM DONATION FROM THE FISHY FORUM - AUG 2023 AMOUNT RAISED £170.00
        
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moosey_club
December 21, 2009, 12:31am
Barley Wine Drinker
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your face wont stay like that if the wind changes


2023/24 DLWDDWDLLLWDLLLLWDDDWDLLWLDLLDWDDWLLDWLWLWL but not NLN 😁
2022/23LDWDWWDWLLDWWDLLLDLWLLWLWLLWDDLDWWDDDLLWDWLWLW
2021/22 WDWWWWDLWWWWLLLWLLDLWLLWWDWWWLWDLWWDWWWDLWD play offs WWW Promoted 🥳
2020/21  LLDWWLDLDWLWLLLDLWLLDLLDLLLWLLLDDDDWDDDLWLWLWL .. hello darkness my old friend
2019/20  WDLDWWLDLWWLLLDLDLDLDDWWDLLWDDWWL WLLW - ended
2018/19  LWDDLLLLLLWWDWLLLWDWLWWWWLLLLWWWWDLLLDDLLDLWLW Hello Scunny  
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moosey_club
December 21, 2009, 12:33am
Barley Wine Drinker
Posts: 16,220
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Rep Score: +69 / -22
Approval: +20,339
Gold Stars: 230
crusts dont make your hair curly


2023/24 DLWDDWDLLLWDLLLLWDDDWDLLWLDLLDWDDWLLDWLWLWL but not NLN 😁
2022/23LDWDWWDWLLDWWDLLLDLWLLWLWLLWDDLDWWDDDLLWDWLWLW
2021/22 WDWWWWDLWWWWLLLWLLDLWLLWWDWWWLWDLWWDWWWDLWD play offs WWW Promoted 🥳
2020/21  LLDWWLDLDWLWLLLDLWLLDLLDLLLWLLLDDDDWDDDLWLWLWL .. hello darkness my old friend
2019/20  WDLDWWLDLWWLLLDLDLDLDDWWDLLWDDWWL WLLW - ended
2018/19  LWDDLLLLLLWWDWLLLWDWLWWWWLLLLWWWWDLLLDDLLDLWLW Hello Scunny  
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moosey_club
December 21, 2009, 12:35am
Barley Wine Drinker
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Rep Score: +69 / -22
Approval: +20,339
Gold Stars: 230
Heres a festive one............father xmas dresses up as a normal dad when he delivers his own childrens presents


2023/24 DLWDDWDLLLWDLLLLWDDDWDLLWLDLLDWDDWLLDWLWLWL but not NLN 😁
2022/23LDWDWWDWLLDWWDLLLDLWLLWLWLLWDDLDWWDDDLLWDWLWLW
2021/22 WDWWWWDLWWWWLLLWLLDLWLLWWDWWWLWDLWWDWWWDLWD play offs WWW Promoted 🥳
2020/21  LLDWWLDLDWLWLLLDLWLLDLLDLLLWLLLDDDDWDDDLWLWLWL .. hello darkness my old friend
2019/20  WDLDWWLDLWWLLLDLDLDLDDWWDLLWDDWWL WLLW - ended
2018/19  LWDDLLLLLLWWDWLLLWDWLWWWWLLLLWWWWDLLLDDLLDLWLW Hello Scunny  
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topuphere666
December 21, 2009, 6:44am
Vodka Drinker
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that its unsafe to eat yellow snow
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