Fishy Team

Quoted from 137

Wouldn't worry about not making  the Bursar Street Junior School team.

I played one game for them - with instructions to leather the ball in the general direction of the opponents' goal if the said sphere
happened to be in my locality. Shrewd tactics, you may say, but at that age my eye-foot coordination meant 3 air-kicks out of 4 attempts.
It wasn't much fun for me, so I told the teacher I didn't want to play again.

Things were only slightly better at Clee Grammar.
Coerced into playing right-back in the house team, I was always facing someone quicker and more skilful than myself. So when the winger knocked
it past me I'd grass him rather than turn round and run after him forlornly. I was a thinking player, you see.
The late Owen Roberts told me I was the dirtiest player he'd ever seen in all his years teaching. He was prone to exaggerate for dramatic impact.
Ended up banished to the hockey team in the 6th form.

Have always felt that if Owen Roberts had spotted and nurtured my talents I might have been the next Chopper Harris, but some things aren't meant to be...

So what you’re saying is you were sh¡t and you still got in the team - to quote the chant  ‘how sh¡t must you be I got in the team’ 😆

Quoted from KingstonMariner

So what you’re saying is you were sh¡t and you still got in the team - to quote the chant  ‘how sh¡t must you be I got in the team’ 😆

(sigh) Another one who doesn't recognize the value that an ability-deficient cold-blooded footballing assassin can bring to a team.

You don't see the Argentine national team step out onto the pitch without at least one such individual in their back line....  

Good old football eh.  I played for nigh on 20 years and scored two goals.  The first was very memorable.

I'd been subbed so was not in the best of moods. We had one spectator; a QPR fan who was apparently still leathered from the night before.  He stank of stale booze, cigarette smoke and pungent garlic. Why he was still up was beyond me and why anyone one would watch Sunday league on such a bitter morning was unfathomable.  As he engaged me in conversation I kept stepping back and he kept advancing like a Harvey Weinstein looking for new talent.  The bitter wind cut though my bones and numbed my extremities. The game was looking like a 0-0 draw so i prayed for the end.  At least I wouldn't have to wash my kit that week - every cloud and all that.  Les, the manager told me to warm up. I was surprised and listened to his tactical instructions: "just run around in midfield".  I could do that. Normally, I played fullback - left or right as I was a versatile player . I was happy to run about in the middle of the park.  Hopefully, it would get some feeling back in my pinkies. Then a miracle happened.  I was in the 18 yard box and the ball came from somewhere and bounced with an almighty thud right in front of me.  If you've ever had a car accident you will understand what I mean when I say everything slowed down.  Through my peripheral vision, I could see the rest of the players rooted to the spot.  All I could hear my best mate shout, "go on Keith!" I really didn't know what I was doing. This wasn't blocking a cross.  This wasn't slide tackling a winger. I lunged towards the ball with about much finesse as a drunk up elephant. The next thing I heard was the net ripple. It was my turn to be rooted as the rest of the world fast forwarded to normal speed. I experienced a few hours of glory until in the local rag they'd got my name completely wrong.

Quoted from DB

Well I don't know how to tell you all the bad news. As you know Hursty has made many new signings and, it would appear, none of us were good enough to be considered.

Perhaps too many admitted their legs had gone, I made too many cross's, Rob wasn't tall enough and Ginny spent all his time being a left winger! Alas we will never know why he left us out of his plans.

So we'll just have to have a glass of our favourite tipple handy on Saturday as we watch or listen to the match, whist we contemplate what Hursty has missed in not signing anyone of us,

I reckon my brain tumour op when they had to remove a part of my skull played a bit of a part in his decision on me.  

Stick or twist?