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Posted by: SqueakyClean, March 29, 2010, 9:30pm




LOL!

MR AVERAGE?!?!?!!?!?!

MORE LIKE MR LONELY MAN LOOKING FOR SEXY TIMES ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!


Posted by: MarinerJosh, March 29, 2010, 9:31pm; Reply: 1
I am sure that's the guy who was interviewed with Terry on Late Kick Off.
Posted by: Rodley Mariner, March 29, 2010, 9:34pm; Reply: 2
Have you ever considered becoming a private detective Josh?
Posted by: Alfie, March 29, 2010, 9:42pm; Reply: 3
Good lord.  ;D
Posted by: Tommy, March 29, 2010, 9:45pm; Reply: 4
Can't be. Have you seen the "Build: Average" bit?
Posted by: MarinerJosh, March 29, 2010, 9:55pm; Reply: 5
Quoted from Rodley Mariner
Have you ever considered becoming a private detective Josh?


Ha! No but it's running through my mind now. I shall wait for Terry to confirm before I send my application form off.   ;D
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 29, 2010, 9:58pm; Reply: 6
What on earth were you you looking for strange men for Josh?????
Posted by: Rodley Mariner, March 29, 2010, 9:59pm; Reply: 7
You can start by finding out who SqueakyClean is as I'm guessing it's a regular poster who doesn't want everyone knowing that they frequent
uk-sex-contact.com!
Posted by: theicenian, March 29, 2010, 10:08pm; Reply: 8
This thread is beginning to sound a tad gay. ;D
Posted by: MarinerJosh, March 29, 2010, 10:10pm; Reply: 9
Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
What on earth were you you looking for strange men for Josh?????


I wasn't Wrawbs I was just pointing out the facts. I was just happy it wasn't my profile picture that came up.  ;D
Posted by: JazzMariner, March 29, 2010, 10:13pm; Reply: 10
Quoted from Rodley Mariner
You can start by finding out who SqueakyClean is as I'm guessing it's a regular poster who doesn't want everyone knowing that they frequent
uk-sex-contact.com!
Isn't it Spoony? Has the Snooze button on it?

Posted by: Abdul19, March 29, 2010, 10:17pm; Reply: 11
18-80?  ;D
Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 29, 2010, 10:22pm; Reply: 12
Haha. Proper funny!!!!
Posted by: Alfie, March 29, 2010, 10:22pm; Reply: 13
Given how Tony has the voice of a eight year old girl and smells like a tramp I thought the 'SqueakyClean' username was pretty funny.  ;D
Posted by: Marinerz93, March 29, 2010, 10:53pm; Reply: 14
Anybody else feel like throwing up........(lff3)

Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 29, 2010, 11:15pm; Reply: 15
Quoted from MarinerJosh


I wasn't Wrawbs I was just pointing out the facts. I was just happy it wasn't my profile picture that came up.  ;D


I came out in a hot sweat, I thought people were on to me ;)
Posted by: pontoonlew, March 29, 2010, 11:19pm; Reply: 16
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

thats the funniest thing ive seen on here all year!  ;D
Posted by: Green27, March 29, 2010, 11:44pm; Reply: 17
(lol) Sensational stuff.
Posted by: SNOOZE, March 30, 2010, 6:58pm; Reply: 18
Don't think it is FUNNY
Posted by: SNOOZE, March 30, 2010, 7:05pm; Reply: 19
Quoted from MarinerJosh


Ha! No but it's running through my mind now. I shall wait for Terry to confirm before I send my application form off.   ;D
Bet YOU are
one of the battle bus CRONIES

Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 30, 2010, 7:20pm; Reply: 20
Quoted from SNOOZE
Don't think it is FUNNY


I think it is utter genius of biblical proportions. Praise the Lord you filthmeister.
Posted by: bladerunnner, March 30, 2010, 7:25pm; Reply: 21
your gonna look a bit sheepish when you have to walk past everyone in the lower smiths on friday night eh tone? old chinese proverb say "perverts on the internet should understand what theyre getting into" still,weve all seen worse i bet? all i can say is thank the lord i haven't got a daughter with a laptop with oddballs like you trawling about looking for girl private.........meow. :-/
Posted by: dazwev, March 30, 2010, 7:29pm; Reply: 22
stinky hammo is a perv, is a perv, is a perv
stinky hammo is a perv, his knob's average!

(100)(100)(100)(100)(100)
Posted by: kamakazebear, March 30, 2010, 7:35pm; Reply: 23
Quoted from dazwev
his knob's average!


whats wrong with average?! (blushing)
Posted by: dazwev, March 30, 2010, 7:38pm; Reply: 24
Quoted from kamakazebear


whats wrong with average?! (blushing)


Nothing at all, so is mine probably...........but you thought if he was advertizing for sex he would of BIGGED it up a bit.

i'd love to see he face on fri night, but i'm in the mainstand :'(
Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 30, 2010, 7:39pm; Reply: 25
Quoted from kamakazebear


whats wrong with average?! (blushing)


I can only aspire to average but it does what it says on the tin so I'm always happy enough.  ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: dazwev, March 30, 2010, 7:41pm; Reply: 26
:P
Quoted from 75


I can only aspire to average but it does what it says on the tin so I'm always happy enough.  ;D ;D ;D


What does it say on the tin vicar?
Posted by: Civvy at last, March 30, 2010, 7:42pm; Reply: 27
How does he know it's average ?  When was the last time he was slim enough to see it  ;D  ;D  ;D
Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 30, 2010, 7:42pm; Reply: 28
Quoted from dazwev
:P

What does it say on the tin vicar?


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in Arial, size 16.
Posted by: dazwev, March 30, 2010, 7:44pm; Reply: 29
Quoted from 75


Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in Arial, size 16.


:P RONSEAL  :P
Posted by: theicenian, March 30, 2010, 7:46pm; Reply: 30
Average

Mmmm.

I had a friend,sadly no longer alive,who we christened STUBBY for obvious reasons in the context of this thread who always maintained it's what you can do with it.He must have been good because he always pulled some spectacular companions and generated a fair amount of envy among us average blokes. :B
Posted by: SNOOZE, March 30, 2010, 7:49pm; Reply: 31
Talking about yourselves sharp objects
Posted by: bladerunnner, March 30, 2010, 7:50pm; Reply: 32
he went to the circumsision clinic to be done,he was in with the surgeon a while when the doc came into the waiting room and said to tonys mother " im sorry missus hamilton but im afraid we couldn't perform the procedure on tony","you see theres no end to this sharp object" :B.
Posted by: dazwev, March 30, 2010, 7:52pm; Reply: 33
Quoted from SNOOZE
Talking about yourselves sharp objects


you have been caught out bigtime Tony '' The Trawler'' Hamilton. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: Les Brechin, March 30, 2010, 7:54pm; Reply: 34
Quoted from dazwev


you have been caught out bigtime Tony '' The Trawler'' Hamilton. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"  ;D
Posted by: dazwev, March 30, 2010, 7:58pm; Reply: 35
Quoted from Les Brechin


Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"  ;D


;)i like ;)
Posted by: bladerunnner, March 30, 2010, 7:59pm; Reply: 36
Quoted from SNOOZE
Talking about yourselves sharp objects


come on tone its only a leg-pull me ole son, seriously though mate what were you thinking posting all your details and sexual preferences on a site that anyone on here can access your personal details? like iv'e said before i don't know you personally tony,but im thinking this thread is gonna make you a legend amongst all us seasoned perverts, we are not worthy oh warped one ;) ;)
Posted by: Civvy at last, March 30, 2010, 8:11pm; Reply: 37
Quoted from bladerunnner


come on tone its only a leg-pull me ole son, seriously though mate what were you thinking posting all your details and sexual preferences on a site that anyone on here can access your personal details? like iv'e said before i don't know you personally tony,but im thinking this thread is gonna make you a legend amongst all us seasoned perverts, we are not worthy oh warped one ;) ;)


Warped, you don't know the meaning of it !!  If you think that's warped we need to have a chat sometime   ??)

I was going to suggest this is going non - footy.  But on the other hand we are talking about "tackle"  ;)
Posted by: bladerunnner, March 30, 2010, 8:13pm; Reply: 38
Quoted from Civvy at last


Warped, you don't know the meaning of it !!  If you think that's warped we need to have a chat sometime   ??)

I was going to suggest this is going non - footy.  But on the other hand we are talking about "tackle"  ;)


is this tony guy for real? this has gotta be a wind-up yes? nobody could be that stupid :(
Posted by: jungleland, March 30, 2010, 8:56pm; Reply: 39
hmmm  very good mrsqueekyclean  it`s   just gotta be spoony  ...  and with out doubt one of the best posts  ofr the year
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 30, 2010, 9:40pm; Reply: 40
Quoted from Les Brechin


Maybe it was him that the Rochdale fans were singing to when then sung "Cum in a Trawler, you must have cum in a trawler"  ;D


No thats ''Cum in Tissue, he must've Cum in a tissue''
Posted by: mariner91, March 30, 2010, 9:50pm; Reply: 41
Quoted from 75


I can only aspire to average but it does what it says on the tin so I'm always happy enough.  ;D ;D ;D


Doesn't it hurt having a tin around it? Tin edges are sharp.  :B
Posted by: Alfie, March 30, 2010, 10:53pm; Reply: 42
Quoted from dazwev
stinky hammo is a perv, is a perv, is a perv
stinky hammo is a perv, his knob's average!

(100)(100)(100)(100)(100)


One of the very few times this site has had me in fits of laughter.  ;D

Great stuff.
Posted by: marinerian, March 30, 2010, 10:55pm; Reply: 43
Tony should stick to his 'GILFS' and plan to take some poor familys inheritence.

Hey man lock up your gran
Tony Hamilton is one sick man
He doesn't like women pure
He prefers them much mature
He likes them knocking on Heavens door

;D
Posted by: Alfie, March 30, 2010, 10:56pm; Reply: 44
Also, Dumbo Humbo strikes again, this thread had died a slow death and was creeping to 2nd page obscurity.

Now he's bumped it, it'll be enjoyed by the masses for a few more days to come.  ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: GrimRob, March 30, 2010, 11:01pm; Reply: 45
I wouldn't make fun of him. There's probably the odd septuagenarian in NE Lincs who'd regard him as quite a catch (langra)
Posted by: mariner91, March 30, 2010, 11:06pm; Reply: 46
Quoted from GrimRob
I wouldn't make fun of him. There's probably the odd septuagenarian in NE Lincs who'd regard him as quite a catch (langra)


Lucky bloke ;)
Posted by: JonnyK, March 30, 2010, 11:56pm; Reply: 47
Only just seen this.  Pure class.  And maybe he's been lucky with it.  He has been a bit awol recently.
Posted by: Lambretta Mariner, March 31, 2010, 10:04am; Reply: 48
Just had a quick look on the site ( just for research purposes of course ) and he could have chosen up the age of 99 so perhaps he doesn't like them too old!
Posted by: NewtoN, March 31, 2010, 10:12am; Reply: 49
lmao! Tony the raging perv!
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 11:55am; Reply: 50
Tony Hamilton was on the telly
We all laughed at his over hanging belly
So he turned to the net
Where bagging a granny looked a sure fire bet
But our Tony was found out
By what was a pretty good shout
So a new username he will create
Because his rep is in a state
Posted by: Civvy at last, March 31, 2010, 12:53pm; Reply: 51
A fat squeeky b@stard called Tone
Needs a granny so he'll get a bone (on)
so he looked on the net
but he ain't found one yet
Coz he can't find a desperate old crone.
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 1:02pm; Reply: 52
There once was a Town fan called Tony
whose member went all boney
Because he was being so shady
finding an old lady
They all thought he was a bit phoney
Posted by: pontoonlew, March 31, 2010, 1:14pm; Reply: 53
There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick
Posted by: Les Brechin, March 31, 2010, 1:20pm; Reply: 54
Quoted from pontoonlew
There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick


;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Posted by: Richard Cranium, March 31, 2010, 1:25pm; Reply: 55
GTFC_MAN or SNOOZE
He didn't know whixh one to choose
To our surprise
He chose porky pies
Because he had nothing to lose
Posted by: bladerunnner, March 31, 2010, 3:06pm; Reply: 56
Quoted from pontoonlew
There once was a fat squeeky sharp object
Who boasts of his average size male private.
A pervy fat man
Best lock up your gran
and the smell of him just makes you sick


iv'e only logged on to reply to this pontoonlew...........your are a comic genius,this little ditty had me spitting coffee out across the room much to the bemusement of my family........what a warped f.u.c.k.e.r this tony is eh? ;D :P :'( ??)
Posted by: bladerunnner, March 31, 2010, 3:12pm; Reply: 57
there once was a pervert called tone,          who wouldn't leave the grannys alone.................his member is tiny.............his voice is all whiny............with a hint of a helium drone ;)                                                                                                                      
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 3:24pm; Reply: 58
There once was a fella called Tony
Who was a little bit lonely
he wanted a granny
so he could have a go on her f@nny
Oh what a dirty man was he
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 3:29pm; Reply: 59
Tony had one little wish
That he would finally get some success with fish
So he tried internet dating
With view to some mating
but failed cos he smells of pish
Posted by: dazwev, March 31, 2010, 4:04pm; Reply: 60
he he this thread is great!!!
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 4:35pm; Reply: 61
His profile says he has no kids
Its because he prefers the bids
Old or wrinckley he isnt fussed
But being sketty is a must
Also boixing in sports fitness?
Posted by: Alfie, March 31, 2010, 4:41pm; Reply: 62
Wrawby's are that poor, they're almost funny.  ;D
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 4:48pm; Reply: 63
Quoted from Alfie
Wrawby's are that poor, they're almost funny.  ;D


Oh you female dog ;) ;D
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, March 31, 2010, 4:59pm; Reply: 64
1 last attempt


Our Tony's been internet dating
Because hes fed up of masturbating
Everyone thinks this guy is silly
Because he is talking about his average willy
No wonder he is getting such a slating
Posted by: fivestarfish, March 31, 2010, 5:20pm; Reply: 65
I like the picture of the old woman on the wall behind him  :)
Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 31, 2010, 5:40pm; Reply: 66
This is the best ever thread on the fishy. If I was him, I'd move to Scunthorpe with my head bowed. Utter genius.
Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 31, 2010, 5:44pm; Reply: 67
Tony blocks the bar at the Imp
Coz he's talking to granma's pimp
Pimpy says she's a bit tired and wrinkly
But a bit of vaseline will sort it on his average winky
Posted by: somersetmariner, March 31, 2010, 5:44pm; Reply: 68
I wonder how many M+F couples have requested his squeakiness??.......my wife is keen....mind you she doesnt have a nose......
Posted by: 75 (Guest), March 31, 2010, 5:45pm; Reply: 69
Quoted from somersetmariner
I wonder how many M+F couples have requested his squeakiness??.......my wife is keen....mind you she doesnt have a nose......


Does she have her bus pass though?
Posted by: somersetmariner, March 31, 2010, 5:49pm; Reply: 70
she does....and all the relevant sex toys - rubber gloves, disinfectant......
Posted by: Marinerz93, March 31, 2010, 6:24pm; Reply: 71
House share  = living at home with mum (lff3)

he's not the only loser we know, our old friend fans64 seems to have an account too (lff3)

Posted by: Civvy at last, March 31, 2010, 8:32pm; Reply: 72
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet
Posted by: barralad, March 31, 2010, 9:07pm; Reply: 73
Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


Now THAT'S Genius!! 8)
Posted by: theicenian, March 31, 2010, 9:38pm; Reply: 74
At what point does this thread become internet bullying?


Oh it's hamilton your on about.


Please feel free to carry on some of the limericks are mighty fine. I'm sorry to say that Civvy's last effort is the best of the lot so far. ;D
Posted by: JonnyK, March 31, 2010, 9:52pm; Reply: 75
This thread is great please keep it up.  Literature isn't my strong suit so I'll leave  the limericks to those who are making me chuckle almost every hour.
Posted by: Brazilnut, March 31, 2010, 9:58pm; Reply: 76
Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


awesome.........sometimes you realise you are in the company of geniuses
Posted by: Brazilnut, March 31, 2010, 10:04pm; Reply: 77
i am a saddo called gtfc man
i wouldnt mind kn0bbing your gran
but the oldies prefer to knit
because i smell like a cess pit
maybe i'll try pulling a tran
Posted by: mike the mariner, March 31, 2010, 10:22pm; Reply: 78
There once was a man with a stink,
who desperately sort after pink.
On TV in a hat,
He looked like a prat.
Or possibly the missing link.
Posted by: Marinerz93, March 31, 2010, 10:34pm; Reply: 79
18 to 80 is my age range
I like variety, it's not strange
skinny or fat, young or old
I don't care I'm Tony the bold
A swordmans of the non fussy type
I'll shag your granny all through the night

I live at home with my mum
I need a female for sexy fun
I hunt high and low for sex
Cos to much wanking is giving me a complex
It's made my voice unually high
And the hairs on my palms make me cry
Somebody intercourse me or I'll burst
My built up man jiuce into mommy's purse

Posted by: ponnyfan, March 31, 2010, 10:42pm; Reply: 80
Quoted from marinerian
Tony should stick to his 'GILFS' and plan to take some poor familys inheritence.

Hey man lock up your gran
Tony Hamilton is one sick man
He doesn't like women pure
He prefers them much mature
He likes them knocking on Heavens door

;D
Oh yes there is a picture of one of his GILFS in the background on his picture  ;D

Posted by: ponnyfan, March 31, 2010, 10:53pm; Reply: 81
A bloke called Clarkies mate
Took a pensioner out on a date
She impailed his small member
Til the 4th of September
Which sealed the sweaty felicitations fate !
Posted by: pontoonlew, April 1, 2010, 12:07am; Reply: 82
Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


;D Love it!
Posted by: mariner91, April 1, 2010, 12:51am; Reply: 83
Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


;D
Posted by: tarka, April 1, 2010, 7:34am; Reply: 84
Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet


Keep 'em coming lads...that's the best yet!  
Posted by: GrimRob, April 1, 2010, 7:39am; Reply: 85
The ballad of Croney Tony

There once was a fellow called Tony
Whose life had become rather lonely
So he looked on the net
For a busty brunette
Or failing that for a wizened old croney
Posted by: 75 (Guest), April 1, 2010, 7:44am; Reply: 86
Quoted from GrimRob
The ballad of Croney Tony

There once was a fellow called Tony
Whose life had become rather lonely
So he looked on the net
For a busty brunette
Or failing that for a wizened old croney


hahaha, my favourite so far!!
Posted by: pontoonlew, April 1, 2010, 9:50am; Reply: 87
There once was a man named Tony the tank,
No-one sat next to him cos he flipping stank!
Eighteen to eighty?
Get a grip matey!
Your only action is a male masturbation!
Posted by: Les Brechin, April 1, 2010, 11:03am; Reply: 88
Tony's profile got creepier
As he sat there feeling much friskier,
He may be a goon,
But he needs a date soon,
Or he'll have to try nechrophilia.
Posted by: mariner91, April 1, 2010, 11:56am; Reply: 89
There was an odd bloke called Tony,
Who wanted to feed a Gran's pony,
But she said "you stink
You can't have my pink"
So Tony is still really lonely.
Posted by: thefish, April 1, 2010, 1:02pm; Reply: 90
There once was a fat squeeky man,
Who couldn't find a naughty gran,
He house shares,
With a couple of queers,
So he had to make do with a man!
Posted by: Marinerz93, April 1, 2010, 1:48pm; Reply: 91
42 sad and lonely
Is an old minger called Tony
Slightly hairy with a pot belly
Tony the sex pest
Prefers thighs of jelly

On the net, night and day
Looking for a granny
who'll go all the way
Some old biddy to take him to Heaven and back
With Granny's mammaries swung around her back

Giddgy up granny I'm almost there
Tony wakes up as he cum's on his teddy bear
It's all dream a wet one at that
And what's worse in his bed he has shat

More stains on Tony's sheets
Through excrement and cum off his wet dreams
I need a woman lifes not fair
Maybe if you change your underwear
Take a bath and clean up you may become in demand
Until then Tony your lifes in your hand



Posted by: flash1, April 1, 2010, 1:53pm; Reply: 92
Quoted from Marinerz93
42 sad and lonely
Is an old minger called Tony
Slightly hairy with a pot belly
Tony the sex pest
Prefers thighs of jelly

On the net, night and day
Looking for a granny
who'll go all the way
Some old biddy to take him to Heaven and back
With Granny's mammaries swung around her back

Giddgy up granny I'm almost there
Tony wakes up as he cum's on his teddy bear
It's all dream a wet one at that
And what's worse in his bed he has shat

More stains on Tony's sheets
Through excrement and cum off his wet dreams
I need a woman lifes not fair
Maybe if you change your underwear
Take a bath and clean up you may become in demand
Until then Tony your lifes in your hand





(clap2)lmfao
Posted by: Les Brechin, April 1, 2010, 1:54pm; Reply: 93
How about this young lady Tony, she say's shes only 79!

Posted by: Biccys, April 1, 2010, 3:36pm; Reply: 94
Quoted from Les Brechin
How about this young lady Tony, she say's shes only 79!



Boom-chick-a-wow-wow....
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 1, 2010, 3:41pm; Reply: 95
I could not tell at this stage
What is Tony's preferred age
18 to 80 is what he says
because hes had zero lays
His chances stopped with his profile pic
because I saw his face and was sick
I noticed he had an overhanging belly
and was pretty smelly
Posted by: Biccys, April 1, 2010, 3:47pm; Reply: 96
You've not got the hang of limericks yet have you Wrawbs.....
Posted by: Biccys, April 1, 2010, 3:51pm; Reply: 97
There once was a man called Tone,
Who spent his life all alone
He tried internet date sites,
But there's no hiding from us Fishyites,
As we laugh at his average bone.
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 1, 2010, 3:54pm; Reply: 98
Quoted from Biccys
You've not got the hang of limericks yet have you Wrawbs.....


no that on was just rhyming
Posted by: Les Brechin, April 1, 2010, 3:57pm; Reply: 99
Maybe a few posters on here could take their Grandmas to the match tomorrow evening and Tony could choose one in The Imp before the game.  ;D
Posted by: Biccys, April 1, 2010, 3:58pm; Reply: 100
I could but my Gran's too old for Tony. She's 82...
Posted by: mariner91, April 1, 2010, 3:58pm; Reply: 101
Quoted from Les Brechin
Maybe a few posters on here could take their Grandmas to the match tomorrow evening and Tony could choose one in The Imp before the game.  ;D


My Grandad has been dead for 20 years now...but Grandma still isn't that desperate yet.
Posted by: tarka, April 1, 2010, 4:03pm; Reply: 102
He called himself Clarky's Mate
And she was only 78
The sight of her wrinkle
Played havoc with his winkle
Now her false teeth are cemented to her plate
Posted by: VictorMeldrewsDad, April 1, 2010, 4:04pm; Reply: 103
Young tony found himself a date
With a woman just turned eighty eight
He said 'i can't take this tension'
As he came on her pension
Now he's shaggin' her mothers best mate
Posted by: VictorMeldrewsDad, April 1, 2010, 4:17pm; Reply: 104

    Quoted from Civvy at last

    There once was a squeeky fat get
    who went trawling for sex on the net
    Till a woman said "matey"
    "I'm ugly and 80
    But I still aint that desperate yet


Pure Class
Posted by: SNOOZE, April 1, 2010, 4:29pm; Reply: 105
Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue
Posted by: tarka, April 1, 2010, 4:33pm; Reply: 106
Quoted from SNOOZE
Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue


And don't you just love the idea of a long queue....and every one an octogenarian!

Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 1, 2010, 5:24pm; Reply: 107
SNOOZE had something to say
Nothing had gone his way
He wrote a post
Laughed at by most
And now he has gone away
Posted by: VictorMeldrewsDad, April 1, 2010, 5:34pm; Reply: 108
Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause that's nearer the age i'd shag you
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 5:36pm; Reply: 109
Tony H likes old bids
Likes old Bids
Likes old Bids
Tony H likes old bids
He's a wierdo

Clarkies mate likes old ladies
Likes old ladies
Likes old Ladies
Clarkies mate likes old ladies
He likes them blind

Failing that he digs them up
He digs them up
Failing that he digs them up
He's one sick intercourse.

Come on guys lets write some more
write some more
write some more
Come on guys lets write some more
And all laugh at Tony
Posted by: pontoonlew, April 1, 2010, 5:50pm; Reply: 110
Quoted from SNOOZE
Its just my personal view
But retaliation is long overdue
It has to be said
I wish you all dead
Cause there seems to be a very long queue


We saw you on tele with Terry,
as the chinks say, we all saw your 'berry'
your smelly and fat
with a stupid wooly hat
its time you lost your cherry.
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 5:54pm; Reply: 111
Hey I have an idea! Does anyone have a contact for Nana Moon from Freemo, we can help Tony to lose hos virginity at last!  ;D
Posted by: stevieh, April 1, 2010, 5:56pm; Reply: 112
internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
Posted by: pontoonlew, April 1, 2010, 5:59pm; Reply: 113
Quoted from stevieh
internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.


;D
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 1, 2010, 6:03pm; Reply: 114
Tony the chubby slob
Had a bloody average knob
He advertised it on the net
for some muff he had not met yet

He wants them almost 6 foot under
But why? is what makes us wonder
Rejected by the girls he has met
Is why grannies are all he can get

He's up for anything is our Tone
Lots of bondage will make him moan
Not too much or he'll squeak
God his sex life does look bleak

He will get abuse in the Imp
Not just because he acts like a gimp
We might meet up to compare notes
I just hope nobody gloats
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 6:09pm; Reply: 115
Tony gets all horney
At the thought of dating a woman of one hundred and forty
His GILF fetish causes a scene
He thinks fishy posters are mean
Because of his thoughts they are not keen
Posted by: bladerunnner, April 1, 2010, 6:17pm; Reply: 116
have you ever laughed so much your face actually hurts? the gallows humour of the working class football fan is what makes britain great. hey,if that tony chap shows up in the imp or strutts his stuff in front of the lower smiths tommorrow night then i will take my hat off to the lad he's one brave motherf.u.c.k.e.r..................well technically not mother,more like grandma/great aunt/dead female relative? im thinking that dating site post will be a bigger regret for him than the regret hitler felt when his gas bill dropped through the letterbox :(
Posted by: Mariner16, April 1, 2010, 6:30pm; Reply: 117
Tony was a volcano near tears,
and the fishy increased his fears.
It made him feel sad
that he hadn't had
an average eruption in years.
Posted by: Alfie, April 1, 2010, 6:36pm; Reply: 118
Quoted from bladerunnner
have you ever laughed so much your face actually hurts? the gallows humour of the working class football fan is what makes britain great. hey,if that tony chap shows up in the imp or strutts his stuff in front of the lower smiths tommorrow night then i will take my hat off to the lad he's one brave motherf.u.c.k.e.r..................well technically not mother,more like grandma/great aunt/dead female relative? im thinking that dating site post will be a bigger regret for him than the regret hitler felt when his gas bill dropped through the letterbox :(


Hopefully someone will say something.

He deserves all the stick he gets... and more.
Posted by: VictorMeldrewsDad, April 1, 2010, 6:47pm; Reply: 119
Whilst walking around Blundell Park
Someone to Tony made a remark
That he liked shagging grannies
With a really dry fannies
And his last girlfriend was as old as the arc
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 7:02pm; Reply: 120
Whilst Tony was alone in the dark
He decided he liked old granny Lark
She was around 102
And smelt like a nasty poo
But that was all he was able to do
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 1, 2010, 7:15pm; Reply: 121
Grimsby's runt, they call him SNOOZE
It's his virginity he's hoping to lose
Anything for some randy lust
Young'un or old'un he's not fussed
Its the latter that he will probably choose


Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 7:18pm; Reply: 122
Our mate the user called Snooze
I think he needs to lay off the booze
It's gone to his head
He likes his women (nearly) dead
And rants like a fool when Town lose
Posted by: 75 (Guest), April 1, 2010, 7:23pm; Reply: 123
I saw him in a taxi in Town (today - true and he looked a little sheepish)
He looked a bit like a clown
He definitely had a frown
I reckon he's feeling down
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 7:42pm; Reply: 124
Tony is now mates with Jozef
They both sit together in Row Z
The are on a conquest for mothers and daughters
To take them  back to old Joze quaters
Elizabeth is sad
she doesn't want to share her dad
But would rather be dead than have Mr Hamilton
Posted by: ginnywings, April 1, 2010, 8:37pm; Reply: 125
The post of Poet Laureate is safe.
Posted by: barralad, April 1, 2010, 10:21pm; Reply: 126
Quoted from ginnywings
The post of Poet Laureate is safe.


Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 10:30pm; Reply: 127
My first attempt which started all these poems/lymerics off was easily the best! I declare myself the winner  :P
Posted by: fivestarfish, April 1, 2010, 10:38pm; Reply: 128
Humberside Police are searching for a man who has exposed himself to elderly women. Police say the man is wanted in at least six incidents.

The suspect is described as a white male, about 40 years old, with short brown hair, average tackle length, a medium build and about 5'10" tall.

Victims say he has a distinctive squeaky voice and an unpleasant smell.
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 10:50pm; Reply: 129
Quoted from barralad


Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate


Mine was much better, stop bumming each other  :P
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 10:51pm; Reply: 130
Quoted from fivestarfish
Humberside Police are searching for a man who has exposed himself to elderly women. Police say the man is wanted in at least six incidents.

The suspect is described as a white male, about 40 years old, with short brown hair, average tackle length, a medium build and about 5'10" tall.

Victims say he has a distinctive squeaky voice and an unpleasant smell.


Or was it our Vicar?  ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: jock dock tower, April 1, 2010, 10:55pm; Reply: 131
It's hard to imagine the sight,
Of a knobhound stalking the night,
For a mummy or granny,
Or any old fanny,
That would would sooooooooothe this pervert's plight.

Posted by: Les Brechin, April 1, 2010, 11:14pm; Reply: 132
To the tune of "You fill up my senses"

He fills up his bedroom
With pics of old grannys
With packets of condoms
With smelly old muffs
Like a night out in Scunthorpe
With a dirty old fanny
Old G-T-F-C man
Will gas you again.
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 1, 2010, 11:18pm; Reply: 133
This thread has done wanders for my depression, obviously not for yours Tony sorry
Posted by: marinerian, April 1, 2010, 11:22pm; Reply: 134
Quoted from Les Brechin
To the tune of "You fill up my senses"

He fills up his bedroom
With pics of old grannys
With packets of condoms
With smelly old muffs
Like a night out in Scunthorpe
With a dirty old fanny
Old G-T-F-C man
Will gas you again.


;D ;D ;D

That one comes a close second to my attempt  ;) :P
Posted by: 75 (Guest), April 2, 2010, 12:15am; Reply: 135
There was a young man called tony
Whose willy was average n bony
His ad was quite bold
He likes em young, middle or old
The Fishy lads raised the tension
He's after their beaver n pension
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 12:40am; Reply: 136
The fishy boys gave Tony some sh1t
Which he did not like 1 bit
We mocked hid love for old age (women)
Which he replied with a rage
but we still thinks he's a bloody t1t
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 12:50am; Reply: 137
Our man Tony was having a moan
About the fellas we've had on loan
So we gave him some abuse
Like we didnt need another excuse
As this thread has shown
Posted by: VictorMeldrewsDad, April 2, 2010, 1:27am; Reply: 138
Quoted from Civvy at last
There once was a squeeky fat get
who went trawling for sex on the net
Till a woman said "matey"
"I'm ugly and 80
But I still aint that desperate yet



Gets my vote

Posted by: Biccys, April 2, 2010, 1:28am; Reply: 139
We now have our own "Mr Average",
Whose tastes we don't all agree with,
He likes wizened Grannies,
With gizzards for fannies
And threesomes with strangers his dream is.
Posted by: GrimRob, April 2, 2010, 10:05am; Reply: 140
Oh super grey and whites
Come thrill me again
Posted by: topuphere666, April 2, 2010, 10:16am; Reply: 141
:P
Quoted from GrimRob
Oh super grey and whites
Come thrill me again


Your asking Hamilton to thrill you..... AGAIN !!
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 12:47pm; Reply: 142
Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it


sorry thats really my last one
Posted by: 75 (Guest), April 2, 2010, 12:52pm; Reply: 143
Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it


sorry thats really my last one


haha, it's a good one to sign off with!
Posted by: 75 (Guest), April 2, 2010, 12:54pm; Reply: 144
There was a young man called Hammo
He trawled the web to get slammo
He wanted 18-80 fanny
He targets the kids and their nanny
Posted by: LH, April 2, 2010, 1:00pm; Reply: 145
Only just seen this. Classic! Any songs to sing to him tonight?
Posted by: pseudonym, April 2, 2010, 2:02pm; Reply: 146
No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 2:51pm; Reply: 147
Quoted from pseudonym
No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.


Tonight in the Imp would  be banter if he turned up
Posted by: 0ld timer, April 2, 2010, 4:16pm; Reply: 148
Quoted from pseudonym
No doubt someone will have put a copy of the picture of him on the Imperial Hotel bar door for tonight.


you trying to put ideas into peoples heads terry
Posted by: ginnywings, April 2, 2010, 4:17pm; Reply: 149
Quoted from barralad


Not in the hands of that woman it isn't....I'm starting a campaign...Civvy for Poet Laureate


Are you not a fan of Duffy or don't you think women should be Poet Laureate?

Never read any of her stuff myself ,so have no opinion.

Civvys' limerick was pretty good though.
Posted by: ponnyfan, April 2, 2010, 4:27pm; Reply: 150
Surely this will find it's way to the classic thread page ? Biccy's?
Posted by: marinerian, April 2, 2010, 4:56pm; Reply: 151
Tony once sang a happy Tune
As he was dating Nanna Moon
He thought she was fit
But she dumped him really quick
When she realised he was a stinking loon
Posted by: dazwev, April 2, 2010, 5:18pm; Reply: 152
There once was a stinker called Tony
Who's passion for town was quite phoney
When he fancies some f@nny
You best lock up your granny
sorry, Squeeky's at home feeling lonely.
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 5:36pm; Reply: 153
There will be trouble tonight in the Imp
If theres an appearance from Tony the gimp
His odour you cannot ignore
but his voice will annoy you more
Another lyric about Grimsby's pimp

Posted by: marinerian, April 2, 2010, 5:43pm; Reply: 154
Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
There will be trouble tonight in the Imp
If theres an appearance from Tony the gimp
His odour you cannot ignore
but his voice will annoy you more
Another lyric about Grimsby's pimp



You are getting quite good at this, you have obviously learnt from the master  8) ;D
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 5:44pm; Reply: 155
Quoted from marinerian


You are getting quite good at this, you have obviously learnt from the master  8) ;D


Who Civvy? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: marinerian, April 2, 2010, 5:47pm; Reply: 156
Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner


Who Civvy? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


Civvy my bottom, he is a novice in the poet stakes  :P
Posted by: Wrawby_Mariner, April 2, 2010, 5:50pm; Reply: 157
Quoted from marinerian


Civvy my bottom, he is a novice in the poet stakes  :P


Oh I know  your Ted Hughes in disguise
Posted by: VictorMeldrewsDad, April 2, 2010, 6:17pm; Reply: 158
Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner
Our Tony was quite a poet
He wrote a lyric to show it
He felt such a knob
because he's a slob
so he trawled the net for someone to blow it


sorry thats really my last one


Now Wrawby has learned how to rhyme
Some limericks of his are sublime
Although he's no poet
I think we all know it
Will he now read them out at halftime?


Posted by: davmariner, April 3, 2010, 12:25am; Reply: 159
I saw average Tone outside the stadium tonight... with friends! Shocked me.
Posted by: pseudonym, April 3, 2010, 4:32pm; Reply: 160
Quoted from davmariner
I saw average Tone outside the stadium tonight... with friends! Shocked me.
He was in the Imp

Posted by: 1106 (Guest), April 3, 2010, 4:49pm; Reply: 161
Wonder if he thourght last nights ref had an average game. After all, it was a big decision to send Ollie off.
Posted by: barralad, April 4, 2010, 10:41pm; Reply: 162
Quoted from Wrawby_Mariner


Oh I know  your Ted Hughes in disguise


Isn't Ted Hughes dead? :-/ Bloody good disguise..
Posted by: bradzmilne, July 18, 2010, 10:49am; Reply: 163
18-80 slight strange or desperate  ;D
Posted by: Alfie, April 18, 2012, 5:35pm; Reply: 164
lol
Posted by: ska face, November 8, 2012, 9:47pm; Reply: 165
So, so good.

11 pages of excrement limericks, and I'm still laughing at that first post.
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