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GAME OFF

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chaos33
February 11, 2012, 12:49pm
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Man, I've read some shoite on this site over the years, but this thread contains some of the best ever nonsense. I have to say though, the idea of putting warm water on a frozen pitch and then waiting a bit longer for sub-zero temperatures to 'thaw' it are straight out of the top drawer!  


"You should do what you love while you can"
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Imperial Corner
February 11, 2012, 12:50pm

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Quoted from aaron rattray
well this free aftetnoon gives me chance to amaze you all by telling some of my jokes


Farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows,
motionless like statues. It had been a cold night but he’d never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with his head in his hands trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.
Just then an elderly woman walked by. “What’s the matter?” asked the old lady. The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman. Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cow’s noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud. One by one the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals. The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed. She declined his offer and walked off across the field.
A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
“You know who that was don’t you?” asked the passer-by.
“No,” said the farmer.
“Thora Hird,” replied the passer-by.
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chaos33
February 11, 2012, 12:54pm
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Beautiful  


"You should do what you love while you can"
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voice of reason
February 11, 2012, 12:54pm
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Quoted from chaos33
Man, I've read some shoite on this site over the years, but this thread contains some of the best ever nonsense. I have to say though, the idea of putting warm water on a frozen pitch and then waiting a bit longer for sub-zero temperatures to 'thaw' it are straight out of the top drawer!  


You think this thread is bad... Check out the 7am roll call thread and see the shite that marinerian character and his mate are coming out with...  



"I am surprised that Bright pratt like you fails to get a grasp of the queens English been as your allways pulling up anyone who fails to follow your thoughts and if they don't give you verbal pats on the back get real and grow up this is a free speech site.UTMM".(Cleefish, 2012)       
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chaos33
February 11, 2012, 12:55pm
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Hold on then, I'll have a look.............


"You should do what you love while you can"
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roundballovalhole
February 11, 2012, 12:56pm
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Gazza. . . what a dumbass!
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chaos33
February 11, 2012, 12:58pm
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Dearie dear


"You should do what you love while you can"
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voice of reason
February 11, 2012, 1:01pm
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Quoted from chaos33
Dearie dear


Haha, you looked then?


"I am surprised that Bright pratt like you fails to get a grasp of the queens English been as your allways pulling up anyone who fails to follow your thoughts and if they don't give you verbal pats on the back get real and grow up this is a free speech site.UTMM".(Cleefish, 2012)       
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pseudonym
February 11, 2012, 1:09pm
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Quoted from voice of reason


You think this thread is bad... Check out the 7am roll call thread and see the shite that marinerian character and his mate are coming out with...  

And the responses
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siy2k5
February 11, 2012, 1:14pm
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Quoted from Imperial Corner


Farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows,
motionless like statues. It had been a cold night but he’d never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with his head in his hands trying to come to terms with his impending poverty.
Just then an elderly woman walked by. “What’s the matter?” asked the old lady. The farmer gestured toward the frozen cows and explained his predicament to the woman. Without hesitation the old woman smiled and began to rub one of the cow’s noses. After a few seconds the cow began to twitch and was soon back to normal and chewing the cud. One by one the old woman defrosted the cows until the whole field was full of healthy animals. The farmer was delighted and asked the woman what she wanted as a repayment for her deed. She declined his offer and walked off across the field.
A passer-by who had witnessed the whole thing approached the farmer.
“You know who that was don’t you?” asked the passer-by.
“No,” said the farmer.
“Thora Hird,” replied the passer-by.


Brilliant! And stolen, sorry


Quoted from marinerian
If Newport win it b4 heir vist to BP, I will sit in The Osmond dressed as Little Bo-Peep for the match against them!  
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