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Michael Jolley

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ROKERITE
December 21, 2020, 5:57pm
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is the surprise favourite for the Barrow position. I thought he did a decent job at Blundell Park. I recall particularly that game at Crystal Palace. It all ended with his unfortunate outburst of course. How is he remembered by most Grimsby Town supporters, fondly or with disdain?
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davmariner
December 21, 2020, 5:58pm
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Good luck to him. He did a great job keeping us up at the start.


Up The Mariners!
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lew chaterleys lover
December 21, 2020, 6:02pm
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Quoted from ROKERITE
is the surprise favourite for the Barrow position. I thought he did a decent job at Blundell Park. I recall particularly that game at Crystal Palace. It all ended with his unfortunate outburst of course. How is he remembered by most Grimsby Town supporters, fondly or with disdain?


We all (except Ipswin ) thought this might be "the one" but it ended as disappointingly as all the others.

We were sold a tactical genuis, but he wasn't unless defending very deep qualifies.

All managers here are trying to do the job with one or both hands tied behind their backs, so as with former players it might be unfair to judge him on his stint here alone.
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TheRealJohnLewis
December 21, 2020, 6:06pm
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I liked him a lot, it didn't work out for him here, but it hasn't worked out for any manager really.
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KingstonMariner
December 21, 2020, 6:10pm
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You have to put Jolley’s lack of overall success here in the context of all managers since we got back in the League. If not several years before. Good luck to him.


Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same.
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jamesgtfc
December 21, 2020, 6:11pm
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Galvanised a hopeless squad when he first came in and performed a miracle to keep us up. Very little progress in his first full season but we did perform admirably at Palace with 10 men for almost 90 minutes.

He was definitely a defensive manager whilst here and ultimately a rant at local journalists with the F word used every 4 words and criticising his budget ultimately brought about his downfall.

He also had disagreements with the board in Sweden before he came here...
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Mariner_501
December 21, 2020, 6:14pm
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Kept us up when we were absolutely doomed. A job well done. Shame he didn’t push on as much as we’d hoped but he succeeded here.
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Sandford1981
December 21, 2020, 6:18pm
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We thought he was the messiah!
It turned out he was just a very naughty boy.

Did a good job to keep us up but horrendous thereafter.


“I know writers who use subtext and they’re all cowards.” –Garth Marenghi
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Yoda
December 21, 2020, 6:23pm
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He did ok it’s always difficult when you haven’t been a player.
Its difficult to get players respect.
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forza ivano
December 21, 2020, 6:26pm

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did more good than harm..
what a job he did to keep us up that year
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MuddyWaters
December 21, 2020, 6:29pm
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Kept us in the league so it’s a positive from me.
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Hagrid
December 21, 2020, 6:33pm

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Supposedly Arrogant and disliked. Personally found him very approachable. And did a very good job keeping us up. Wish him well
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geir
December 21, 2020, 6:35pm

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Liked him a lot.
Will probably go on to a promotion with Barrow if the board gives him what he need.
Good luck to him and I wish him all the best (except against us, of course).


My non-football related blog: http://geirmykl.wordpress.com/
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TAGG
December 21, 2020, 6:48pm

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Good luck to the bloke.
Despite everything he kept us up.


In his three stints as Grimsby Town manager spanning over 10 years the club was never relegated and he also guided them to three promotions.
Only 14 managers have reached 1,000 matches in charge of a Football League team by 1998 and Buckley is one of them.
GOD
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Honestjhonsbankbalance
December 21, 2020, 6:51pm
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Did a good job on a shoestring budget signed Elliot Hewitt who is having a good season despite our league position  brought quality under 23 players like embleton so good eye for a player, but just like every manager in the last 15 years had one hand tied behind his back money wise as honest john was a tight bast
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oochiad
December 21, 2020, 6:58pm
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Did an amazing job in keeping us up but then as with most managers that come here it all went mammaries up......I wish him well.
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ginnywings
December 21, 2020, 7:13pm

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It's  sad that 2 of the best memories I have since returning to the league are the first game back when we won 2-0 and the late winner Matt scored to keep us in the EFL. Jolley was the manager for the second of those and he was the new messiah for a while.

Course it all went to sh1t as usual, plus we let a decent striker in Matt leave for Newport, where he carried on scoring quite regularly. Sums us up as a club.

Good luck to Jolley.
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Boris Johnson
December 21, 2020, 7:19pm
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Quoted from MuddyWaters
Kept us in the league so it’s a positive from me.


One of two lucky decisions helped, but you make your own luck i guess
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HertsGTFC
December 21, 2020, 7:22pm

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Always be grateful that a combination of him, Macca and Mitch Rose’s penalties kept us up.

Like many people who come to GTFC he got dragged down by a lack of ambition from the board.

Deserves a second shot I reckon.

Next time though he needs to stop his Mrs blocking anyone on social media that expresses an opinion she doesn’t like.  


"Crombie you would have got to that if you weren't such a fat ba%$@rd" - George Kerr, inspiration from the dug out 70s style  
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headingly_mariner
December 21, 2020, 8:14pm

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The most anti-football style of any manager I’ve ever seen at Town. Ultra negative style of play.

I’m not convinced it was a massive success in keeping us up that first season, we only got closer to the drop after he joined.

Also a nonce.
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Posh Harry
December 21, 2020, 8:23pm
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Quoted from headingly_mariner
The most anti-football style of any manager I’ve ever seen at Town. Ultra negative style of play.

I’m not convinced it was a massive success in keeping us up that first season, we only got closer to the drop after he joined.

Also a nonce.


That last line is bang out of order. I would expect it from  Lincoln scum or a scunt, but not from a town fan.
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headingly_mariner
December 21, 2020, 8:39pm

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Quoted from Posh Harry


That last line is bang out of order. I would expect it from  Lincoln scum or a scunt, but not from a town fan.


That’s as maybe but it is an indisputable fact that he’s a convicted sex offender. Regardless of the detail behind it.

Probably not as important here as the fact that he was an utterly shite manager.
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AdamHaddock
December 21, 2020, 9:10pm

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A youth coach who talks a good game


[img]https://images.app.goo.gl/bymuz36koLHofSn79[/img]
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mariner91
December 21, 2020, 9:48pm
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I was genuinely really excited about him after that Notts County game. Not only did we stay up but in that game we played some really decent stuff with a squad that didn't have much going for it and he hadn't put it together nor had long with it. I thought we might have stumbled on to someone who knew how to make a system around the players he had available at his disposal.

It all started to go south when we then spent all summer training for and practing to play with wing backs in pre-season games. Sounds great on paper but he'd not actually bothered to sign a single player capable of playing as a wing back. Cue a poor start to the season and from then we played really boring, defensive football. I can't remember how long it had been since we'd scored a goal when he eventually left but we were pretty terrible.

Good luck to him if he finds another club and thanks for keeping us up but ultimately don't think he has what it takes to make it professionally as a manager.
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heppy88
December 21, 2020, 10:10pm
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On a personal note he took time out from a training session to have a photo taken with my Foster daughter who was chair bound at the time.
I remember being taken up by the wave of optimism after his appointment, but left feeling let down in the end. The football was dire to watch.
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arryarryarry
December 21, 2020, 10:13pm
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Quoted from Hagrid
Supposedly Arrogant and disliked. Personally found him very approachable. And did a very good job keeping us up. Wish him well


Speaking to a member of staff at the time he said he did come over as arrogant and wasn't well liked with at least some of the non playing staff.
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arryarryarry
December 21, 2020, 10:20pm
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I don't know why Jamille Matt left the club, presumably we didn't offer him a deal but I assume neither Slade or Jolley played him right and didn't realise how good he was as he went on to score 20 goals in 76 games for Newport and now 9 in 19 for FGR.

What we would give for a player like that now?
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toontown
December 21, 2020, 11:39pm
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Did an amazing job to turn that side around and stop us being relegated. Identified weak points and corrected them, identified the odd strength and helped play to it.

As soon as he had his own team massively over complicated things and went ultra defensive when IN possesion! Bizarre. Also over paid considerably for some players (green, ogbu, ohman, and in hindsight hansen). Dire football. Definitely struggled badly with the pressure (hence the social media stuff and outburst that led to thesack).

But as others have said, just maybe our excrement board held him back in some ways, but i would be surprised if he gets another chance at league level.
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Maringer
December 21, 2020, 11:49pm
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Not the first manager to bodge together a run of results with a limited squad but then fail to build on the squad when given a close season to do so. Won't be the last, either, from what we've seen over the past couple of decades.
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Eastendmariner
December 22, 2020, 12:32am
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Fondly did the biz 10 games left going down kept us up against all the odds  so respect. UTM


Mariner Trust Life Member  

Seen the Mariners win AWAY at 70 league Grounds

Grounds Visited 281[img][/img]

Blundell Park a Training ground for bum ref's
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Eastendmariner
December 22, 2020, 12:32am
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Fondly did the biz 10 games left going down kept us up against all the odds  so respect. UTM


Mariner Trust Life Member  

Seen the Mariners win AWAY at 70 league Grounds

Grounds Visited 281[img][/img]

Blundell Park a Training ground for bum ref's
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Poojah
December 22, 2020, 9:22am
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I personally think Jolley has something if he can get himself another chance at the right club. What he did in keeping us up in 2018 should not be forgotten; it’s easy to say that he got the luck of a tight penalty decision however the reality is that he earned us 13 points from the last available 15 that season when we’d failed to win a game in the 20 previous matches.

That should not be forgotten, and as bleak as things seem right now it’s worth noting that things could be a whole lot worse had he not achieved that.

What happened next, I think, was possibly borne out of naivety. I don’t mean that as a criticism either; merely that Jolley was incredibly inexperienced going into his first transfer window with us.

To me, it’s clear that he’d done his research - much of our fan base had been brought up watching Buckley-ball and I think he wanted to recreate some of that. That was his first mistake; we didn’t have the budget capable of attracting players capable of doing that effectively. The debacle of that opening game against Forest Green was testament to that.

Incidentally I work with a lad whose brother trained with Town that whole summer and into the season itself (Jonny Saltmer, a young ‘keeper who had been at Hull). The feedback was that whilst Jolley seemed to be a good guy, a lot of the players seemed overwhelmed by the complex systems he was trying to introduce.

Quickly realising that tiki-taka wasn’t going to be possible with the squad he’d put together, he turned to a boring, mediocre, safe approach in order to keep the points ticking over.

The following year he seemed to have learned from that approach and decided to do the exact opposite. Direct, aerial football based on winning free kicks in the channels and sticking it on James Hanson’s head.

To be fair, as industrial as this was it worked for a bit - we were in the play-off positions a few games into last season. Again, it’s easy to forget that. The trouble for me though was that so basic was this approach it was easy to counteract. Cutting off the supply to James Hanson was like cutting off our circulation.

It’s not that Jolley could not pivot and adapt, it’s just that he was often too slow to do so. Runs of five or six games without defeat would follow runs of five or six games without a win. He’d work out and solve problems, but never quick enough to achieve the kind of consistency required to really progress.

His demise was sudden and unexpected (with news of his outburst yet to break). He’s the first manager I can recall being sacked / resigning that I didn’t feel relief about. That said, I wasn’t devastated either - the football had become a little too monotonous at times.

I think he’ll have learned a lot from his time with us though, and his next club could well be benefactors of his experience at the circus tent that is Blundell Park.


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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Croxton
December 22, 2020, 9:32am
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'borne out of nativity'. Very seasonal!

Excellent summary as ever.
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Poojah
December 22, 2020, 9:42am
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Quoted from Croxton
'borne out of nativity'. Very seasonal!

Excellent summary as ever.


Infernal autocorrect.


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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Gainsbro_Mariner
December 22, 2020, 10:35am

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I liked Jolley, he was largely positive, very pro-active and was trying to change the culture of the club for the better. He took us as far as he could with obvious well noted restraints from the board and then unfortunately fell foul to the negative off the field theme that has haunted many before him.

Obviously as he left JF tried to tarnish his reputation with Town fans by saying he had applied for the Lincoln job, but in all honesty we will never know. It was a shame it ended how it did with him, but given the right tools he could become a good manager at this level.


Tony Gallimore nicked my Pint and my sausage roll
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Humbercod
December 22, 2020, 10:48am
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He did the business keeping us up when we looked certain for relegation, So I will always appreciate what he did with that.
He then struggled to match his low budget team with the fans expectations. A significant budget or patience with a bit of luck was required, unfortunately for him the fans patience and his luck ran out. Seems like a good bloke in my opinion hope he does well.
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SomeSanity
December 22, 2020, 10:59am
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Quoted from Humbercod
He did the business keeping us up when we looked certain for relegation, So I will always appreciate what he did with that.
He then struggled to match his low budget team with the fans expectations. A significant budget or patience with a bit of luck was required, unfortunately for him the fans patience and his luck ran out. Seems like a good bloke in my opinion hope he does well.


I'd more or less agree with that. Although he tried to run before he could jump and change the whole style of play far too quickly.
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TwoLeftFeet
December 22, 2020, 11:54am
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Good luck to him if he gets the job there he deserves another go got a feeling he would have learnt a lot here and that will benefit him loads.
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cardiffmariner
December 22, 2020, 11:54am
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Quoted from SomeSanity


I'd more or less agree with that. Although he tried to run before he could jump and change the whole style of play far too quickly.


Sounds familiar!
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barrattstandman
December 22, 2020, 1:03pm
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Why all the fondness for him now . There was not many years when he left .
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Boris Johnson
December 22, 2020, 1:14pm
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Quoted from barrattstandman
Why all the fondness for him now . There was not many years when he left .


totally agree, his achievement was overstated, we were lucky to survive. What was the name of that swedish left back? Total garbage Sunday League Player.
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AussieMariner
December 22, 2020, 1:15pm
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At the start of last season away to Morecambe he introduced Hanson, Green, Ohman, Ogbu etc and I really thought he was on the verge of making us very competitive. That team played with pace and power and there was nothing negative or complicated about it although you could argue that a midfield of Whitehouse, Clifton and Hess lacked creativity.
I think the problem he had was that he invested heavily in a few players and didn’t have adequate cover so when the inevitable injuries, suspensions happened he was forced to re-think the strategy. As others have said he could solve problems, but not quickly and in a high pressure environment thoughtful can quickly turn into indecisive and that’s when I think he started to over-complicate things and confuse the players.
He’s an intelligent chap though so he will probably have learnt a lot and may well succeed next tim round.
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mariner91
December 22, 2020, 1:34pm
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I think some are overstating his footballing intelligence. I lost faith in him after the Chelsea. Not because of the result which in itself is no disgrace. They had several internationals and a World Cup winner playing that night.

However, the set up he went with made me question whether he actually understand the game that much and understood what makes some systems works and others not. He’d previously had success with his Swedish team, beating Malmo, by playing man to man marking and leaving their centre back without options to play the ball to. Which is an interesting tactic and clearly worked. But no offence to Malmo, their players are mostly crap and wouldn’t get near the championship let alone the upper echelons of the PL.

So when we attempted that against Chelsea, against players who are very happy receiving the ball in tights areas and under pressure, who are mentally and physically so much quicker than the men marking them and who are smart enough to create gaps by moving their man marker out of position, it was absolutely chaos. The first goal we just had a massive hole in the middle of our defence which Barkley skipped through and fired home. No shape, no compactness. Within 5 minutes we were 2 down and that was the end of the tie.

That night showed a real naivety and misunderstanding of why and how it had worked against Malmo and why it wouldn’t work with Grimsby against a lot of Chelsea’s first team. It probably also explains why he never made changes mid game that were effective and why it would take so long to get out of a slump in form.
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KingstonMariner
December 22, 2020, 4:07pm
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Quoted from Poojah


Infernal autocorrect.


I used that excuse with a 'direct' text I sent the wife. I think I got away with it. Just.  

Excellent post by the way.


Through the door there came familiar laughter,
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Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same.
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RichMariner
December 22, 2020, 6:08pm
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The initial wave of optimism about his appointment was enhanced by the terribly grey football served up by a relic that preceded it. Jolley was refreshing in that sense.

His honeymoon period didn't really happen - if it did, it was awful results-wise - but then, seemingly out of nowhere, a bit of good fortune led to a run of great results that helped us surge to survival.

Like others have said, he was made to work with one of the league's lowest budgets, cobbled together a side that would find a groove but then lose it almost as quick as it found it. His full season in charge included two great months (did he win Manager of the Month for both?) but literally nothing else.

By the end, it was his squad entirely, underperforming. We became offensively blunt, and average at the back. I think he got a bit lost with his own ideas. Maybe guilty of overthinking, and not really being clear on a style of play or philosophy. I think the players became a bit confused by it all. He almost needed to clear everything out and start again with a clear plan, and commit to it.

Having said all that, the way he left made me believe that he'd be lucky to get another chance at Football League management.


"Don't shine that light in my face, mate - I've just lost a pint of blood."
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Mariner93er
December 22, 2020, 6:13pm
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Quoted from mariner91
I think some are overstating his footballing intelligence. I lost faith in him after the Chelsea. Not because of the result which in itself is no disgrace. They had several internationals and a World Cup winner playing that night.

However, the set up he went with made me question whether he actually understand the game that much and understood what makes some systems works and others not. He’d previously had success with his Swedish team, beating Malmo, by playing man to man marking and leaving their centre back without options to play the ball to. Which is an interesting tactic and clearly worked. But no offence to Malmo, their players are mostly crap and wouldn’t get near the championship let alone the upper .


He also did the same against Crystal Palace in what was a cracking performance - they may not be Chelsea, but they had a high-quality squad full of internationals. I don’t think it was naive to give it another go, after all, what did we have to lose?

There’s no denying that he got us out of a terrible situation with what was a poor team. Never really kicked on, but we were steady enough. Got to remember he was still inexperienced as a manger, and there’s certainly lots of potential there.

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GrimRob
December 22, 2020, 6:20pm

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I really liked MJ as soon as he came and the first season was our most memorable by far in the football league since returning (I even compiled a book of Fishy contributions on the subject). The second season never really followed up on the first, I was still fairly gutted when he left but the secret recording helped soften the blow.

I'm sure he learned a lot in his time here. It's a difficult job at any club and hats off to anyone who has the balls to try it.

He's well-spoken and will sweet talk his way into somewhere whether it's Barrow or somewhere else I am sure he'll continue his career at some point.


'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

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pontoonlew
December 22, 2020, 6:22pm
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[quote][/quote]
Quoted from mariner91
I think some are overstating his footballing intelligence. I lost faith in him after the Chelsea. Not because of the result which in itself is no disgrace. They had several internationals and a World Cup winner playing that night.

However, the set up he went with made me question whether he actually understand the game that much and understood what makes some systems works and others not. He’d previously had success with his Swedish team, beating Malmo, by playing man to man marking and leaving their centre back without options to play the ball to. Which is an interesting tactic and clearly worked. But no offence to Malmo, their players are mostly crap and wouldn’t get near the championship let alone the upper echelons of the PL.

So when we attempted that against Chelsea, against players who are very happy receiving the ball in tights areas and under pressure, who are mentally and physically so much quicker than the men marking them and who are smart enough to create gaps by moving their man marker out of position, it was absolutely chaos. The first goal we just had a massive hole in the middle of our defence which Barkley skipped through and fired home. No shape, no compactness. Within 5 minutes we were 2 down and that was the end of the tie.

That night showed a real naivety and misunderstanding of why and how it had worked against Malmo and why it wouldn’t work with Grimsby against a lot of Chelsea’s first team. It probably also explains why he never made changes mid game that were effective and why it would take so long to get out of a slump in form.


If it worked at Palace and Malmo, why wouldn’t you try it at Chelsea?
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toontown
December 22, 2020, 7:58pm
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Quoted from Mariner93er


He also did the same against Crystal Palace in what was a cracking performance - they may not be Chelsea, but they had a high-quality squad full of internationals. I don’t think it was naive to give it another go, after all, what did we have to lose



I was going to say this - it's an unusual tactic that had proved it's worth against premiership opposition - was worth another try. It didn't come off that time
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mariner91
December 22, 2020, 8:06pm
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We didn't play that way at Palace. We had a man sent off and went very, very compact other than Mitch Rose man marking Zaha. At Chelsea, every player went man to man and it was a disaster.
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FishOutOfWater
December 22, 2020, 9:01pm
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If he gets more than just a "competitive budget" he could do well for them..

Good luck to him I say... he never let Town down ( though maybe let himself down with the way he left us )
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HertsGTFC
December 22, 2020, 9:15pm

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Quoted from mariner91
We didn't play that way at Palace. We had a man sent off and went very, very compact other than Mitch Rose man marking Zaha. At Chelsea, every player went man to man and it was a disaster.


I think Chelsea was the game where Jolley lost the players.


"Crombie you would have got to that if you weren't such a fat ba%$@rd" - George Kerr, inspiration from the dug out 70s style  
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KingstonMariner
December 22, 2020, 9:25pm
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Quoted from HertsGTFC


I think Chelsea was the game where Jolley lost the players.


So one manager throws his keeper under a bus and the other loses the whole squad in London!


Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same.
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HertsGTFC
December 22, 2020, 9:33pm

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Quoted from KingstonMariner


So one manager throws his keeper under a bus and the other loses the whole squad in London!


Careless fekkers aren’t they 😂


"Crombie you would have got to that if you weren't such a fat ba%$@rd" - George Kerr, inspiration from the dug out 70s style  
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forza ivano
December 22, 2020, 11:18pm

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Quoted from HertsGTFC


I think Chelsea was the game where Jolley lost the players.


the same players that went out 3 days later and spanked Exeter, playing some lovely football whilst doing it?

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FishOutOfWater
December 22, 2020, 11:24pm
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Quoted from mariner91
I was genuinely really excited about him after that Notts County game. Not only did we stay up but in that game we played some really decent stuff with a squad that didn't have much going for it and he hadn't put it together nor had long with it. I thought we might have stumbled on to someone who knew how to make a system around the players he had available at his disposal.

It all started to go south when we then spent all summer training for and practing to play with wing backs in pre-season games. Sounds great on paper but he'd not actually bothered to sign a single player capable of playing as a wing back. Cue a poor start to the season and from then we played really boring, defensive football. I can't remember how long it had been since we'd scored a goal when he eventually left but we were pretty terrible.

Good luck to him if he finds another club and thanks for keeping us up but ultimately don't think he has what it takes to make it professionally as a manager.


Last time we scored in a league game with him in charge was away at Stevenage then two blanks and then we scored in his last game in charge at home to Newport in the FAC
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mimma
December 22, 2020, 11:33pm
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Quoted from forza ivano


the same players that went out 3 days later and spanked Exeter, playing some lovely football whilst doing it?



..... and for some inexplicable reason never played that way again and resorted back to the system that wasn't working in the first place. Think that the Exeter game and the way he never played that way again summed up his time here, and why he failed.
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HertsGTFC
December 22, 2020, 11:53pm

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Quoted from forza ivano


the same players that went out 3 days later and spanked Exeter, playing some lovely football whilst doing it?



I can’t remember lovely football but I do remember Macca being MOM.


"Crombie you would have got to that if you weren't such a fat ba%$@rd" - George Kerr, inspiration from the dug out 70s style  
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blundellpork
December 22, 2020, 11:59pm

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We played really well that day at Exeter- everything went through Robson and Hess in the middle, and Ogbu was a great link man up front. One of our games of the season. It was so frustrating that we didn’t keep that line up and style of play beyond that one match.
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forza ivano
December 23, 2020, 12:09am

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Quoted from HertsGTFC


I can’t remember lovely football but I do remember Macca being MOM.


i suspect that you weren't among the 300 of us who were there (including my wife who is a completely dispassionate observer and said she'd never seen us play as well as that).........

see blundellpork's post

ps having said that i would agree with Mimma's post that i'm baffled as to why we never tried to play like that again
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jaygy
December 23, 2020, 12:38am
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Quoted from forza ivano


i suspect that you weren't among the 300 of us who were there (including my wife who is a completely dispassionate observer and said she'd never seen us play as well as that).........

see blundellpork's post

ps having said that i would agree with Mimma's post that i'm baffled as to why we never tried to play like that again


Still one of my favourite away days, I was blown away by how we played such attacking football against a fancied side and with a few players that weren't deemed good enough to start against chelsea. I was equally blown away when he didnt select that same starting 11 and style of play in the next game
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Davec
December 23, 2020, 6:50am
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Quoted from forza ivano


the same players that went out 3 days later and spanked Exeter, playing some lovely football whilst doing it?



Exeter away was his final win.
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Poojah
December 23, 2020, 7:56am
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Quoted from KingstonMariner


I used that excuse with a 'direct' text I sent the wife. I think I got away with it. Just.  

Excellent post by the way.


This is a genuine story; the worst autocorrect I’ve ever had came just before the birth of our first child a number of years ago.  

The wife was several days overdue with no sign of arrival and so she sent me a text along the lines of “I’m just off for a walk, hopefully that will make the baby get a move on”.

I was in the middle of a meeting at the time, so half heartedly thrashed out a reply under the boardroom table.

What I meant to write was simply “I hope it does”. However, it would appear that I misspelled the final word, leaving autocorrect to guess the rest. What she received was:

“I hope it dies”.

Suffice to say, she was not happy with me (not that she ever is, mind).


A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.
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