Phrases you really really HATE !

I'll start off, feel free to add !

"At the present time, I have no intentions to...."
"I cannot guarantee...."
"I would not be prepared to commit financially..."
"At the moment"
"It's up to John/Mike to...." (delete as appropriate ! )

'I don't want to devalue the product'- biggest crock of excrement I've ever heard...

'might not be the best footballer but he runs around a lot'- again, crock of excrement. If they're shite at football why ate they playing?

'he's a world class player'- a phrase over used when describing even the most average of players in the premiershite...

he hasn't got a left foot - when clearly he has

Anyone who says such a player gives 101%, 110% etc...

No, it's 100% at the most. Nothing more!

"Grimsby Town 0"

"a Man Utd supporter from Grimsby (or anywhere nowhere near Manchester)".

Grimsby Town? You don't go and watch that rubbish do you?

They both went for the same ball.

There is only one ball ffs,

Its a game of two halfs

Put the ball straight in the onion bag

Liam Hearn Goalscorer  

Rome wasn't built in a day

"Mike Newell was today unveiled as manager of..."

It's just a game

a phrase taken from your on sky sports to often

"hi i`m steven and im a  manchester utd fan"

"oh right,were you from steven"

"plymouth"

aaarrggghh intercourse off

'You can't be from Leicester, you're white.'
'Of course I'm a fan, I watch them on Sky every time they're on.'

Footballers who say "ya know" about 3 times in every sentence.

My biggest annoyance is footballer nicknames.Scott does it all the time.Coulo,Hearnsy,Elds,Kemps,etc etc.

"this might hurt a little bit"   usually followed by a short sharp intense pain of great magnitude.

Quoted from Peeler_Crab

Anyone who says such a player gives 101%, 110% etc...

No, it's 100% at the most. Nothing more!

This.

Quoted from Havelock the Dane

Grimsby Town? You don't go and watch that rubbish do you?

I hear that all the time from my work colleagues  

"how can he support [insert name of club] when he lives in [some other place]"

shock news: people move away from where they were born...

"With all due respect" which invariably means with no respect whatsoever.

"I didn't see the incident but it was probably nothing" Ferguson/Wenger when their player has clattered the opposition.

"I saw it, it was awful and he should be banned for 6 years" Ferguson/Wenger when their player has been clattered.

We need to get a result in our next game.

Well of course your gonna get a result, unless it's postponed. Losing 7-0 is a result, a bad one but still a result.

I hate "It's a big ask". Typical Andy Gray waffle.

"He lacks a yard of pace"

and non football related, when you lose something and find it some bright spark usually spouts out "that's the last place you'd look for it" OF COURSE IT IS....I DON'T KEEP LOOKING WHEN I'VE FOUIND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR, imbecile.....

Quoted from Denby

"how can he support [insert name of club] when he lives in [some other place]"

shock news: people move away from where they were born...

Yes, ofcourse they do; which doesn't alter the fact that 99% plus of the manu fans around the country have no more link to Manchester than that their Great Grandfather's troop train passed through it in 1916.

But conversely, (and I'm making the figures up, but they're representative of what was quoted when I heard it) that 90% of Manure STH's live within 5 miles of old trafford, but only 50% of Southamptons live(d) within 5 miles of the Dell.(I heard this from some footy mag when Soton were in the top division.)
Living in proximity to the club is irrelevant IMHO. I live 40 miles from BP but still get to MOST home games and a few away each season. Doesn't mean I have no link to GTFC. I also haven't lived in GY for over 20 years, indeed I only lived there for a total of 7 in my youth. Most of my life as a kid was spent in villages outside (HLC & Tetney) and I spent my formative years in Louth.

Ramble over... Not sure where I was going with that.....!

Quoted from Biccys

But conversely, (and I'm making the figures up, but they're representative of what was quoted when I heard it) that 90% of Manure STH's live within 5 miles of old trafford, but only 50% of Southamptons live(d) within 5 miles of the Dell.(I heard this from some footy mag when Soton were in the top division.)
Living in proximity to the club is irrelevant IMHO. I live 40 miles from BP but still get to MOST home games and a few away each season. Doesn't mean I have no link to GTFC. I also haven't lived in GY for over 20 years, indeed I only lived there for a total of 7 in my youth. Most of my life as a kid was spent in villages outside (HLC & Tetney) and I spent my formative years in Louth.

Ramble over... Not sure where I was going with that.....!

Up a gum tree?

"GTFC Chairman's Statement"

I get annoyed by the way sportspeople have suddently started saying "obviously" in every sentence. Rob Scott and Ian Bell do it.

Also when commentators say "there was contact, that should be a penalty". Never mind sodding contact, it's a penalty if there's an actual foul.

'Obviously the tide's a long way out at the moment'

'The burgers are fine, I've tried them myself'

'Of course you can bring your flask in'

'I've full faith in (insert manager's name)'

"To be fair ....... " blah blah blah !

At the end of the day....

When you are discussing football at a pub or whatever and a remark from  a person who is a Man Untd supporter says a comment like
"We meaning Man Untd were unlucky today or we got a good win" and they come from the Willows or Louth or Cleethorpes.

I was brought up in Manchester and I know  that Town have gone down to many divisions for us to attract young supporters but I feel you should always back your home Town team.
NEWFOOTBALLER

..............was sent off for a 'Professional Foul'! No such thing
'Cuts the ball back from the Bye Line.! No such thing

UTMM

..............was sent off for a 'Professional Foul'! No such thing
'Cuts the ball back from the Bye Line.! No such thing

UTMM

Quoted from ginnywings

Up a gum tree?

My Teachers say I'm a comedian

"My bad".

Bad is not a f*cking noun.
Stop encouraging the yanks to slaughter our language by copying the feckers.

' No offence, but...'

Just so pointless! You know in most cases that you will be offended after hearing that.And, they think they can offend someone just because they used that phrase, almost like an excuse!

"The proof is in the pudding"

WTF does that even mean? It's in the eating, not in the pudding!

Possibly the worst line I've heard in quite sometime is:

'Speaking of pigs . . .This is really Porkward'

Quoted from upthestripes

"The proof is in the pudding"

WTF does that even mean? It's in the eating, not in the pudding!

That's because it is a shortened version of the true saying and actually means nothing.

The proper saying is "The proof OF the pudding is in the eating".

It then becomes self explanatory.

Quoted from upthestripes

"My bad".

Bad is not a f*cking noun.
Stop encouraging the yanks to slaughter our language by copying the feckers.

Agreed.

Also commentators who use the phrase 'greasy surface' when they mean 'wet grass'.

"If you don't like it don't f****** come!"The fellow's an absolute shower!

The post came to the rescue, no it did'nt he missed the bloody target.

"Ask him". That one's always baffled me. Ask him what? If he fancies a pint after the match? Will he lend me his lawnmower?

Non football phrases that do my head in are "blood" meaning friend I think and "innit"....... Aaaaaaaggh, I hate chav speak!!

"When the river is red take the dirt track"

"Is it in yet?"  

'Your not as good as Dad'.  F1_1ck, wrong forum!

This is the only one that really annoys me.

JF - When all said and done arrrrghhh lol

'When all is said and done'.

In the building.

Ha ha - ditto Meza

I know it states Hates but can't be arsed to create a new thread.

This one gets me everytime

"I would love it if we could beat them. Love it. He's gone down in my estimation. Manchester United haven't won this yet, I'd love it if we beat them."

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXpUdBlRZe8[/url]

Quoted from newfootballer

When you are discussing football at a pub or whatever and a remark from  a person who is a Man Untd supporter says a comment like
"We meaning Man Untd were unlucky today or we got a good win" and they come from the Willows or Louth or Cleethorpes.

I was brought up in Manchester and I know  that Town have gone down to many divisions for us to attract young supporters but I feel you should always back your home Town team.
NEWFOOTBALLER

Erm, so you should support Manchester City then?

Yep for me Grimsby Town FC 2nd Liverpool

Quoted from Biccys

Erm, so you should support Manchester City then?

I thought he did? (as well as the mariners of course)
To be fair though when all is said and done at the end of the day I might've got it wrong (my bad)

one word/phrase i hate 'awesome'

Quoted from upthestripes

To be fair though when all is said and done at the end of the day I might've got it wrong (my bad)

very good

My mate at work constantly says 'it's all good' lol

"They need time to gel"  No they don't. If i perform badly for the first week of my new job they likely won't ask me to come back. Footballers know what they have been bought in to do. They know the job the other players on the pitch do. They should just get on with it.

"We need Fenty out/Need Parker in" yeah fat lot of good your saviour is doing.

The one that really grips my sh1t is 'tick in the box'.  It's even worse when it's emphasised by using an actual 'tick in the box' on a powerpoint presentation.  Fooking cringeworthy.  I remember a good few years back someone came up with the 'w*nk word' bingo game to be played in meetings, endless source of fun that was.

Long game.