Yesterday a friend and me was sat talking about getting older and how things seem to change when you get older.

So what makes you feel old and what sayings do you use ?

A lot of dads on here will be able to relate to what I mean 😉

A good example is when I was a kid you could buy ten of them for what you pay for one nowadays.

You say things like, years ago only REALLY rough women had tattoos.

Actually that ones true

“Watch the road kids”
“You’re not going out in them clothes”
“Put a coat on you’ll get a chill” (in summer) haha
“Wasn’t like that back in my day”

When I was a kid we used to get proper winters. haha

When you sit on your balls.

Walking in to a chippy and thinking..... how much!?!

Whatever happened to a piece and six   ;D

You know you are getting old when your grandkids start having babies.  8)

Your kids teachers seem like kids

When your highlight of the week is Country file and Antiques roadshow on a Sunday evening haha

Professional footballers born in the 2000's!!

When your grandkids show you how to use a new electrical gadget.

It's an old chestnut but policemen who look like kids. They interviewd a police chief inspector at Whaley Bridge and he looked about 16

Quoted from Les Brechin

Professional footballers born in the 2000's!!

Or anyone born in the 2000s for that matter! Scary that those born in 2000 are 19 this year.

When the barber asks you if you want your eyebrows trimming, and you say ok then :B

You know you’re getting old when

You moan about how rubbish modern music is.



You can relate to Victor Meldrew

Quoted from fishyfanny

When the barber asks you if you want your eyebrows trimming, and you say ok then :B

Ears and nostrils sir?

When that report came out the other week saying that children of young parents tend to be less well behaved, one of my daughters said "well we must be VERY well behaved". Cheeky pup. She's right though.

, , , a trip to the garden centre is a nice afternoon out

, , , , when you end up on R1 and think what on earth is this noise!!

Quoted from Mariner Timsky

, , , , when you end up on R1 and think what on earth is this noise!!

This is part of the scientific method for determining whether you're old or not. You know your old when you know more music on Radio 2  than you do on Radio 1

I also like Countryfile and Antiques Roadshow.  

When you get annoyed that you forget to remind the barber to trim your hair from eyes, nose and eyebrows.

When your dad tells you (in 2019) that in Burma in WW2 he was in 2 plane crashes and was strafed by a Japanese fighter plane.  (True he told me and true it happened).  Even if he sounds like grandad in Fools and Horses!

Even worse - for ageing you.  He said he was selling matches and chocolates (from the famous  Betmead family shop) in the Barratt Stand in 1937? When Town v Wolves 31,651.

Betmead was a great Town player in the 1930s and the family had a confectionary show near BP.

Quoted from TownSNAFU5

I also like Countryfile and Antiques Roadshow.  

When you get annoyed that you forget to remind the barber to trim your hair from eyes, nose and eyebrows.

When your dad tells you (in 2019) that in Burma in WW2 he was in 2 plane crashes and was strafed by a Japanese fighter plane.  (True he told me and true it happened).  Even if he sounds like grandad in Fools and Horses!

Even worse - for ageing you.  He said he was selling matches and chocolates (from the famous  Betmead family shop) in the Barratt Stand in 1937? When Town v Wolves 31,651.

Betmead was a great Town player in the 1930s and the family had a confectionary show near BP.

You should get him to share a few of his memories from the pre-WWII days when we were riding high in the top tier

I know a lot about some of the goings on from my own dad who went then but sadly is no longer around to share what it must have been like to go and see us play in front of such packed houses

I bet it would make a great read hearing all about the black and white army back in the day before they all got called up for the real army and the other forces

UTM GTID

When you do not fancy your nookie every 5 minutes.

Quoted from grimsby pete

When you do not fancy your nookie every 5 minutes.

I should think not. Roger de Courcey's hand has been up there.

, , , , everytime you get up or sit down you have to make a sigh  :-/

Quoted from grimsby pete

When you do not fancy your nookie every 5 minutes.

Amended for you Pete

Quoted from Ipswin

Amended for you Pete

Yeh the thought is there but not the action  ;D

Also when you do not know about modern technolgy and the grandkids have to tell you how it works.

Quoted from grimsby pete

Also when you do not know about modern technolgy and the grandkids have to tell you how it works.

Or when you forget you’ve already said that ☹️

Quoted from KingstonMariner

Or when you forget you’ve already said that ☹️

Did I tell you I have short term memory loss.

Anyway when your grandkids start having babies  ;)

When a random pube continues to grow

Quoted from 28195

When a random pube continues to grow

Grey one?

Quoted from KingstonMariner

Grey one?

You know you're getting old when you don't get "hair removal cream for men".... saw an ad for this in the cinema last week   WTF!?!?  :D  

Quoted from FishOutOfWater

You know you're getting old when you don't get "hair removal cream for men".... saw an ad for this in the cinema last week   WTF!?!?  :D  

I don't get the whole grooming industry*. It's a sign that the young generation have too much spare cash (they probably don't think it's worth while saving for a mortgage because they're never going to afford it anyway, like mid-Victorian workers would spend spare cash on getting bladdered for similar reasons).

* But then a previous generation used to think after shave was for poufs.

Quoted from KingstonMariner

I don't get the whole grooming industry*. It's a sign that the young generation have too much spare cash (they probably don't think it's worth while saving for a mortgage because they're never going to afford it anyway, like mid-Victorian workers would spend spare cash on getting bladdered for similar reasons).

* But then a previous generation used to think after shave was for poufs.

Until  KK  and Henry came along and enticed us to use Brut   ;)

Quoted from FishOutOfWater

Until  KK  and Henry came along and enticed us to use Brut   ;)

Splash it all over.

Fish Out Of Water,  sadly he has recently passed away now.  After a much better innnings than the English Test batsmen. A Grimbarian to the core.  

The sad thing is that 95% of his football and life stories (as above etc) were not known to his 2 sons until towards the end of his life. He kep all the good stuff to himself.

He was character and had some amazing life stories.  Not over-bright but very energetic and streetwise.  A new house was being built next door to his bungalow.  It would block out some of his light.  One night he moved the footing (strings) back 3 feet and nobody noticed.

In his ealy 90s, he was on a "walking machine" and had a serious heart condition.  This never stopped him driving down through Europe on his own to FI and motor cycle grand Prix.  He had an expensive hoist in his estate car.  But often got kind volunteers to lift up his very heavy mobility scooter.

He would sleep in his car.  Other times he took a tent and got people to put it up for him.

He was a civilian driver in the RAF in the 1950 - 1970s.  Once he took an Air Vice-Marshal to stay at his parents house at Eliston Street (opp BP).  He was on the Bboard for a courts marshal at Binbrook.  He loved the homely cooking compared to a hotel.  (Being a Regular in the RAF myself I was and  are still horrified at how this could have gone wrong).

For his sins he was a serious hoarder.  He used to sit in his chair with a litter picker to reach things he needed.  He had extension poles for items further away.

When he did summer taxiing at Mablethorpe in the 1960s and 1970s,  He mad a taxi sign out out of a long plastic picnic box.  He used dayglo to make the word taxi. He them put this on his roof, wired up to show a light when dark.

We had so much "MOD" items such as torches at home, that I grew-up thinking that they sponsored us.   At RAF Manby and Strubby, he used to come home for lunch in a 3 tonner or a very large crane!

Other drivers were stealing his biscuits at Manby. So he got some custard cremes and took each one apart.  Then he put mustard in each one and sealed them up again. He left them in the tea room. He tape-recorded the reactions as his mates ate them.  I heard the tape later and it was very funny.  

In Burma he did not drink or smoke.  Being half sensible, he was selected with 7 other airmen to visit a private family who owned a tea-plantation.  Waiter service, best silver tea set and good food.  Numerous photo's were taken of this lovely hospitality, many of which we found in his effects after he died. This was news to the family.   Why do old servicemen never talk of their interesting war exploits?     (I also thought that there was a war on????).  

The best pre-war story (true) is my uncle who lived next door.  He was a Chief Petty Officer in the RN.  In the 1930s, his ship was berthed in northern Germany.  His captain was attending a meeting with senior German representatives.  A message had to to be taken to the RN captain.  My uncle took the message to his captain at the meeting.  One of the Germans at the meeting was .................................Adolf Hitler!  

Now if he had known what was to come and he bumped him off??.................................................

..................I should add that right to the end of his life (nearly 95) my father was still a Town fan. (Strangely, as a kid I always remember him saying that Town were rubbish). PC had not come in yet and he used to talk about the away team "their fast darkie on the wing"!? That is how people spoke many years ago.  (No idea what he made of Tony Ford).

He also had 3 large-screen TVs in his (small) living-room in Mablethorpe.  2 turned on to the news or sport (always different channels).

If one item caught his attention he turned the 2nd TV volume down.  The third TV was for his CCTV camera trained on the front door.  Everybody (eg carers) came in the unopened backdoor anyway!  

One of his medical consultants said in a letter that "Mr Cole was a very interesting and energetic man for his age, and had 3 TVs working at the same time in his living room".

After he died we filled 4 carrier-bags with prescription medicines that he had not taken over the years because he had read, or sommebody told him, that they conflicted with other health issues he had or medicines that he was taking.

He had a smaller mobility scooter just for getting round in bungalow.  He had other mobility scooters with the battery on charge 24/7, a fire risk but he would not listen to anybody.  

He would buy 2 daily paper everyday and the Grimsby Telegraph (even though he had not lived there for 65 years). He could remember any article that he had read if asked.

Some cracking stuff there about your dad and some of his exploits SNAFU

You can't help but look back on the times they lived in and have nothing but admiration, because all around them life was tougher than any of us today can imagine, but they always met the day to day challenges head on  :)

Sounds a right character SNAFU. Thanks for sharing the stories.

Got any more?  :)

You know you're getting old when you're relieved you only had to get for a p1ss once in the night.....and managed to get it all in the bowl as well.

You gradually realise that your feet get cold in bed.  Eventually you agree to get an electric blanket.  Then you look forward to switching it on early - and getting into a nice warm bed.

Never mind feeling the cold more at BP, despite dressed like a yeti in the winter.

The barber comments on your “natural highlights”.

Every other driver is either driving too slow or too fast.

You get fed-up with your daughters and other young people using bad language.

Worst of all, you occasionally start picking up large litter items, and putting them in a bin, just to keep the neighbourhood clean tidy.

You also think about joining a neighbourhood watch, but don’t.  You are not that old or interested.

You read all the local political leaflets that come through the door.  And even talk to some councillors about issues that annoy you - like litter, speeding cars and gangs of youths hanging about (although doing nothing wrong).

you get sudden/uncontrollable urges to pee...particularly when near running water e.g. cleaning your teeth  :-/

Quoted from Connecticut Mariner

you get sudden/uncontrollable urges to pee...particularly when near running water e.g. cleaning your teeth  :-/

Turning the shower on does that to me. 😔🌧

Quoted from Connecticut Mariner

you get sudden/uncontrollable urges to pee...particularly when near running water e.g. cleaning your teeth  :-/

On a couple of occasions  while filling my car at the petrol station I really needed a pee when a few minutes before I was fine. :B

Quoted from grimsby pete

On a couple of occasions  while filling my car at the petrol station I really needed a pee when a few minutes before I was fine. :B

If you get the angle right Pete, you can avoid the CCTV cameras and do it in the petrol tank.

Apparently.

Quoted from KingstonMariner

Turning the shower on does that to me. 😔🌧

That's not much of a problem if you're in the shower  ;)

Quoted from KingstonMariner

If you get the angle right Pete, you can avoid the CCTV cameras and do it in the petrol tank.

Apparently.

Does it work ok for both petrol and diesel?  ;)

It was pointed out to me, when we were discussing the clocks going back.
I said something about an extra hour in bed.  As opposed to an extra hour in JD's/Tiffs/The Flam etc.


How true, when they used to shut at 2 but the clocks went back giving us that extra hour on the p1ss.

(And still turned up for footy the next morning) !!!!!!!!

You like watching antique programmes.  You are the same age as the experts and can remember using some of the items many years ago.  😓

Definitely in the old zone when the doctor sticks a finger up your bum.

Quoted from Manchester Mariner

Definitely in the old zone when the doctor sticks a finger up your bum.

But feeling 30 years younger if it's a Nurse  ;)

Quoted from Civvy at last

But feeling 30 years younger if it's a Nurse  ;)

Depends on that nurse's gender I guess?  ;)

When you're happy to get socks as a xmas present

You tell your wife that you'd rather she didn't load the dishwasher at all because it's harder for you to reorganise it later (so you can unload it quicker!).

Maybe that's just me.

Quoted from Tommy

When you're happy to get socks as a xmas present

I always got socks from the ex both for Xmas, birthdays, Fathers' Day etc.... I have to assume she misheard me when she asked what I fancied ( and no... it wasn't a sax! )

You don't care what you look like when you go out as long as you're warm.

When you start playing in goal cos you're legs have gone THAT much.

Quoted from FishOutOfWater

I always got socks from the ex both for Xmas, birthdays, Fathers' Day etc.... I have to assume she misheard me when she asked what I fancied ( and no... it wasn't a sax! )

You want to try living with a dyslexic Tommy.  I left my Mrs a note saying what I wanted her to do when I got home from work on my birthday.

I walked in the door to a horrible smell of burning.  When I looked one of my socks was in the oven !!!


the Mrs smiled and said, I think it's a bit weird darling but I've done what you wanted.  I've cooked your sock.   ;) !!!

Quoted from Civvy at last

You want to try living with a dyslexic Tommy.  I left my Mrs a note saying what I wanted her to do when I got home from work on my birthday.

I walked in the door to a horrible smell of burning.  When I looked one of my socks was in the oven !!!


the Mrs smiled and said, I think it's a bit weird darling but I've done what you wanted.  I've cooked your sock.   ;) !!!

Just seen this Civvy.... made me laugh out loud!   ;D ;D

Quoted from 140485

You are quite peppy for the old people, right?)) But it seems to me that fatigue will soon eat me up. Ten years ago I could work 12 hours and calmly go to a bar with friends. I want one thing now - to sleep. I usually make myself cbd infused tea and just sitting in an armchair while my household tells me their day. Where to get strength? I do not know..

....golfer? Is that you?

you have to use bigger fonts

Uni students look like little kids.

You start thinking the odd well looked after mature lady well worth one

Your mates kids are grown up adults and you realise you the 'older generation'

When your great grandkids know more than you ( on technical things )

Quoted from Rik e B

You start thinking the odd well looked after mature lady well worth one

Like Nigella you mean ( 60 yesterday )

But you're just as interested in the grub she could dish you up as anything else she might have on offer   ;)

Quoted from FishOutOfWater

Like Nigella you mean ( 60 yesterday )

But you're just as interested in the grub she could dish you up as anything else she might have on offer   ;)

As a youngster I always preferred the older women - not that I was ever successful. As I got older I started to fancy younger women. The women I fancied seemed to get younger and younger. Then I realised it wasn’t the age of the women I fancied changing it was just me getting older and there were more younger people with every passing year. 😕

When the wife buys you a nasal/ear hair trimmer...

and you think that's a great gift ;D

When your fanny goes fishy.

When people talk about you as though you are not there even though you are.

That Promotion Plaice bloke is getting on a bit. What do you reckon lads?

Quoted from KingstonMariner

That Promotion Plaice bloke is getting on a bit. What do you reckon lads?

He must be as he been on here for years  😁

Never really took notice of him tbh.