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 buckstown |
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Champagne Drinker  Posts: 2,447
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Apologies if it's been posted before but our dear leader and his former business associate Mr. Kapikanmay have made it into this weeks Private Eye. I don't have the techno skills to post the article but it's under a category "rotten boroughs", general tales of alleged misconduct in local government.
Possibly the pinnacle of his career?
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| TownSNAFU5 |
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Or plumbing the depths of having no integrity and poor judgement. (Allegedly).
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| Stadium |
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Champagne Drinker Posts: 2,342
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“There's nothing wrong with the car except that it's on fire.”- Murray Walker
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| crusty ole pie |
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 Whiskey Drinker  Posts: 3,061
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Bet this is deleted quickly
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| KingstonMariner |
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Meths Drinker  Posts: 22,096
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I’ve been expecting that for weeks. Even bought the last two editions thinking it would appear. Thought there would be some comment about the council leader saying there would be no investigation.
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| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| TownSNAFU5 |
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Vodka Drinker Posts: 5,964
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Location: York
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“Eagle-eyed reader”. Wonder who that was? Or an insider at the Club?
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| aldi_01 |
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I’ve been expecting that for weeks. Even bought the last two editions thinking it would appear. Thought there would be some comment about the council leader saying there would be no investigation.
Most admit, as I’ve been buying my golden nuggets and my pack up I’ve flicked through Private Eye every time and seen nothing...I’ll have to nip in tomorrow and grab a copy for prosperity... |
| 'the poor and the needy are selfish and greedy'...well done Mozza |
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| Civvy at last |
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I expect Ian Hislop to be ‘summoned’ to Fenty Towers in the not too distant future 😉
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| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  |
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| WOZOFGRIMSBY |
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I expect Ian Hislop to be ‘summoned’ to Fenty Towers in the not too distant future 😉
Or JSF to have a feature on have I got news for you |
| Rose is on fire
And your scotch eggs are fu(king vile |
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| Southwark Mariner |
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Whiskey Drinker Posts: 3,160
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Next stop, Have I Got News For You!!
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| Knut Anders Fosters Voles |
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Next stop, Have I Got News For You!!
Jo Brand: On this week’s ‘Odd One Out’ round... Benign lender...John Shelton Fenty... Thomas Edison, Humphry Davy, and Joseph Swan Merton: Is this abaaat breaking things? A swan can break yer arm. Edison broke, I dunno, lightbulbs. Fenty broke a child’s flaaaagg...and a football club. Brand: You’re close Paul. Hislop: Is it that each of Edison, Davy and Swan we’re credited or miscredited with inventing the lightbulb? But John Shelton Fenty is famous for scaling floodlights to change lightbulbs? Brand: Well done Ian. 3 points Merton: That’s 3 more points than Grimsby have had in a while! Hislop: Apart from Fenty’s driving licence! There’s usually at least 9 on there Brand: Allegedly Hislop: Allegedly |
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| LH |
| January 22, 2021, 10:02pm |
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 ModeratorPosts: 11,464
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Jo Brand: On this week’s ‘Odd One Out’ round...
Benign lender...John Shelton Fenty...
Thomas Edison,
Humphry Davy, and
Joseph Swan
Merton: Is this abaaat breaking things? A swan can break yer arm. Edison broke, I dunno, lightbulbs. Fenty broke a child’s flaaaagg...and a football club.
Brand: You’re close Paul.
Hislop: Is it that each of Edison, Davy and Swan we’re credited or miscredited with inventing the lightbulb? But John Shelton Fenty is famous for scaling floodlights to change lightbulbs?
Brand: Well done Ian. 3 points
Merton: That’s 3 more points than Grimsby have had in a while!
Hislop: Apart from Fenty’s driving licence! There’s usually at least 9 on there
Brand: Allegedly
Hislop: Allegedly
👏 more consistent than Town, you. |
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| Madeleymariner |
| January 22, 2021, 10:23pm |
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My copy arrived today, I have a subsciption, I did wonder if it would turn up, will have to get it out of its wrapping now and have a look.
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| KingstonMariner |
| January 22, 2021, 10:28pm |
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Meths Drinker Posts: 22,096
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My copy arrived today, I have a subsciption, I did wonder if it would turn up, will have to get it out of its wrapping now and have a look.
What about the magazine? |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| Knut Anders Fosters Voles |
| January 22, 2021, 11:46pm |
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Brandy Drinker Posts: 2,881
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Jo Brand: On to the missing words round... this week’s guest publication is the Official Match Day Programme of Grimsby Town Football Club.
Soft, strong and very, very long...How Andrex do you feel?
Brand: “When I first came here it was like ‘John Fenty is [BLANK]’. Well I can tell you he is one of the nicest blokes I’ve met”.
Merton: When I first came here it was like...John Fenty is the one in the turtle neck. John Fenty is the one dangling from the floodlight. John Fenty is watching me and pointing a pistol at my loaf of bread?
Brand: Close Paul. John Fenty is the anti-Christ!
Hislop: You said it!
Brand: Next. “With everything going in our favour, there is no reason why we couldn’t, within the next five years, regain our [BLANK]”
Hislop: Dignity? Self respect?
Merton: Freedom?
Brand: Wrong again. ‘Championship status’ apparently. I asked him indoors about championing ship status, he turned to port, I gave him a little tug and he drops anchor in my sheltered dock
[canned laughter]
Brand: Finally. “I deconstructed the [BLANK] to the point where it was safe and couldn’t be considered a danger.”
Merton: I deconstructed the...bomb...smoke bomb...smoke bomb in tampon
Hislop: He’s finally lost it. Preposterous.
Merton: Atom. Atomic Kitten. Once driven forever smitten. Vauxhall Cavalier. Roundhead. Stacy Coldicott. Big Brother 4. George Orwell. “Orrr...well, we’ll always have that night at Anfield”. Anne Frank. Frank Lampard. Plunge or push up. Offside trap. Giovanni Trappatoni. Tony Rees. “I Want To Break Free”. Free Willy. Rob Eagle. The Eagle Has Landed. Legal Beagle. Philip Day. Wilkin Chapman. Leslie Ash. Men Behaving Badly. Fenty and May. May The Fraud Be With You. Star Wars. War on Drugs. Peru. Paddington Bear. Michael Bond. Bond with the fans. Drinks in JD’s Nightscene...Gary Childs...Child’s...CHILD’S FLAG!!
Brand: Jesus Paul. Him indoors could’ve orgasmed five times in the time it took you there...
“I deconstructed the CHILD’S FLAG to the point where it was safe and couldn’t be considered a danger.”
Soooo.... To our winners, Ian Hislop, Shutes, Stockwood and Pettit, the keys to the sleeping giant of English football.
To our losers, Paul Merton, John Fenty - a lifetime of ridicule and possible custodial sentence...
Goodnight!
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