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 sutton mariner |
| November 3, 2019, 12:30am |
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Exile
Posts: 2,400
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Reputation: 88.31%
Rep Score: +52 / -6
Location: Sutton
Approval: +1,135
Gold Stars: 49
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Ladies and gents,
I’m working on a project all about the ‘tinpotery’ of non league football. Character based, antics driven comedy type thing.
I’m doing a bit of research and looking for as many amusing ‘non league stories’ as possible.
Stuff like Fenty snapping the kids flag, one of our fans rolling down the stand in a bin, etc etc
Not exclusive to non league - more just stuff you wouldn’t get at a premier league ground.
Appreciated in advance!
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I Make Movies #UTM |
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| Heisenberg |
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Brandy Drinker  Posts: 2,585
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Rep Score: +9 / -1
Approval: +5,029
Gold Stars: 93
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The mistaken signing of Serge Makofo is a must, I’d say.
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| GYinScuntland |
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Posts: 2,601
Posts Per Day: 0.49
Reputation: 78.29%
Rep Score: +21 / -6
Location: Ashby, Scunthorpe
Approval: +3,238
Gold Stars: 97
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| Ashby mariner |
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Lager Top Drinker  Posts: 330
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Rep Score: +1 / -2
Approval: +471
Gold Stars: 8
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People who couldn't get a ticket for Alfreton away who where stood in a tree watching.
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| IlkleyMariner |
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Champagne Drinker  Posts: 2,435
Posts Per Day: 0.56
Reputation: 87.12%
Rep Score: +12 / -1
Location: Ilkley
Approval: +2,992
Gold Stars: 69
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Ladies and gents,
I’m working on a project all about the ‘tinpotery’ of non league football. Character based, antics driven comedy type thing.
I’m doing a bit of research and looking for as many amusing ‘non league stories’ as possible.
Stuff like Fenty snapping the kids flag, one of our fans rolling down the stand in a bin, etc etc
Not exclusive to non league - more just stuff you wouldn’t get at a premier league ground.
Appreciated in advance!
Hi I have some piccys from lower non league which I find amusing. Can send them to an email if you let me have one. Alan |
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| Hagrid |
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Posts: 11,981
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Rep Score: +49 / -21
Approval: +20,374
Gold Stars: 532
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I think our inflatables at barnet. The best away day ive ever had
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| promotion plaice |
| November 3, 2019, 10:01am |
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 ModeratorPosts: 19,614
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Rep Score: +20 / -13
Location: Cleethorpes
Approval: +17,026
Gold Stars: 194
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When the GTFC team bus turned up at the wrong ground for a reserve team fixture.
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| When Leeds trainer Les Cocker was once told Norman Hunter had broken a leg, he asked: “Whose is it?” |
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| conscorner |
| November 3, 2019, 11:12am |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 827
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The Golf buggy at Dover that was made available to the more infirm supporters to transport them up the hill through the woods to the turnstiles
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| conscorner |
| November 3, 2019, 11:22am |
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Season Ticket Holder
Posts: 827
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The generosity from the Eastleigh chairman treating the Grimsby supporters to a pie and hot drink after a long mid week journey to the south coast club
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| wuffing |
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 Table Wine Drinker  Posts: 829
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George Kerr buying a couple of busloads of Town fans a cup of tea at a service station on the way back from Bristol City when it was rained off at the last minute, early eighties.
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'I walked in the dressing room. The window was open and I thought that a sea fret had got in. Then I saw smoke billowing from a pipe in the corner of the room...it was my centre-forward. He looked seven stone wet through. He went on to score thirty-odd goals that season.' Lawrie McMenemy on encountering the legend that was Matt Tees.
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| arryarryarry |
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Barley Wine Drinker  Posts: 10,251
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George Kerr buying a couple of busloads of Town fans a cup of tea at a service station on the way back from Bristol City when it was rained off at the last minute, early eighties.
I think if you check you will find we were in the Football League then.  |
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| KingstonMariner |
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Meths Drinker  Posts: 22,096
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Rep Score: +42 / -11
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Gold Stars: 218
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People who couldn't get a ticket for Alfreton away who where stood in a tree watching.
That happened at Bournemouth too the year they had 17 points docked and we both stayed up |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| KingstonMariner |
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Meths Drinker Posts: 22,096
Posts Per Day: 6.07
Reputation: 79.33%
Rep Score: +42 / -11
Approval: +23,440
Gold Stars: 218
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Ladies and gents,
I’m working on a project all about the ‘tinpotery’ of non league football. Character based, antics driven comedy type thing.
I’m doing a bit of research and looking for as many amusing ‘non league stories’ as possible.
Stuff like Fenty snapping the kids flag, one of our fans rolling down the stand in a bin, etc etc
Not exclusive to non league - more just stuff you wouldn’t get at a premier league ground.
Appreciated in advance!
Get in touch with Rob Gringo Coringao on Twitter. Town* fan and non-league afficianado . He’ll have a vast fund of stories. Ex-Cockney Git now Nawvern Monkey. * and Barnet, Corinthian Casuals, Croydon Athletic, Hampton, plus the very non-non-League Corinthians of São Paolo. |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| sutton mariner |
| November 4, 2019, 11:17am |
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Exile
Posts: 2,400
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Rep Score: +52 / -6
Location: Sutton
Approval: +1,135
Gold Stars: 49
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Great - keep em coming!
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I Make Movies #UTM |
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| grimsby pete |
| November 4, 2019, 11:38am |
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 Exile Posts: 55,677
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Rep Score: +126 / -28
Location: Suffolk
Approval: +17,796
Gold Stars: 222
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The portaloo's at various grounds but I remember the ones at Braintree best.
Fenty and another director having to use the same ones as us and got their shiny shoes wet as the floor was floating in urine.
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| Over 36 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
68 Years following the Town
Life member of Trust
First game April 1955
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| codcheeky |
| November 4, 2019, 12:07pm |
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Cocktail Drinker  Posts: 1,955
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Hayes and Heading being allowed to leave the ground to go for a pint in the pub next door at half time, also the Karachi band at Barnet
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| Abdul19 |
| November 4, 2019, 12:23pm |
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 Season Ticket Holder Posts: 20,405
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Rep Score: +71 / -26
Location: Scarborough
Approval: +17,531
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also the Karachi band at Barnet
Benazir Bhutto day? |
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| The Yard Dog |
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Cocktail Drinker Posts: 1,912
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Location: Cleethorpes
Approval: +3,469
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Drinking the beer festival dry at .........., cannot remember the ground. I have put the non-league days deep in my memory bank, hard to recall now.
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| Civvy at last |
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Posts: 11,467
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Gold Stars: 131
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Not none league, but a recent cup game.
Town away at Chelsea midweek. Managed to sell out.
Due to a late drop out I had a spare ticket. Offered it on here for face value and was snapped up.
Imagine how I felt having been in contact with the fishyite on the night. Then stood waiting outside the ground for them not to turn up. No apology, explanation or anything. Not even a PM after the game. Being a tenner out of pocket isn’t the end of the world. But while my mates where seated and soaking up the atmosphere. I was stood outside like a right Billy no mates.
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| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football'  |
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| arryarryarry |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 10,251
Posts Per Day: 1.71
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Rep Score: +26 / -28
Approval: +10,039
Gold Stars: 116
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Not none league, but a recent cup game.
Town away at Chelsea midweek. Managed to sell out.
Due to a late drop out I had a spare ticket. Offered it on here for face value and was snapped up.
Imagine how I felt having been in contact with the fishyite on the night. Then stood waiting outside the ground for them not to turn up. No apology, explanation or anything. Not even a PM after the game. Being a tenner out of pocket isn’t the end of the world. But while my mates where seated and soaking up the atmosphere. I was stood outside like a right Billy no mates.
Name & shame. |
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| KingstonMariner |
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Meths Drinker Posts: 22,096
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Rep Score: +42 / -11
Approval: +23,440
Gold Stars: 218
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Drinking the beer festival dry at .........., cannot remember the ground. I have put the non-league days deep in my memory bank, hard to recall now.
Ebbsfleet. You’d drunk it all by the time I got there you illegitimates! |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| Civvy at last |
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Posts: 11,467
Posts Per Day: 2.04
Reputation: 74.47%
Rep Score: +36 / -13
Approval: +12,204
Gold Stars: 131
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Name & shame.
Not my style mate. Also, I don’t know the full story. We just lost communication. This is the first time I’ve mentioned it to be honest. And I couldn’t be @rsed to contact them afterwards. So hopefully they’ll see this and let me know. ! ! |
| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football' |
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| KingstonMariner |
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Meths Drinker Posts: 22,096
Posts Per Day: 6.07
Reputation: 79.33%
Rep Score: +42 / -11
Approval: +23,440
Gold Stars: 218
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Not my style mate.
Also, I don’t know the full story. We just lost communication.
This is the first time I’ve mentioned it to be honest. And I couldn’t be @rsed to contact them afterwards.
So hopefully they’ll see this and let me know. ! !
I got a better offer off Croxton 😉 |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| Son of Cod |
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Champagne Drinker Posts: 2,072
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| moosey_club |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 16,181
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Gold Stars: 226
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Chasetown....watching the players warm up on some grass behind the burger van....that was the moment i knew we had hit rock bottom...closely followed 90 minutes later by realising..no, now we have hit rock bottom  oh...and if any of these mysteriously appear in a short film in the near future we want our share of the royalties. |
| 2023/24 DLWDDWDLLLWDLLLLWDDDWDLLWLDLLDWDDWLLDWLWLW 2022/23LDWDWWDWLLDWWDLLLDLWLLWLWLLWDDLDWWDDDLLWDWLWLW 2021/22 WDWWWWDLWWWWLLLWLLDLWLLWWDWWWLWDLWWDWWWDLWD play offs WWW Promoted 🥳 2020/21 LLDWWLDLDWLWLLLDLWLLDLLDLLLWLLLDDDDWDDDLWLWLWL .. hello darkness my old friend 2019/20 WDLDWWLDLWWLLLDLDLDLDDWWDLLWDDWWL  WLLW - ended 2018/19 LWDDLLLLLLWWDWLLLWDWLWWWWLLLLWWWWDLLLDDLLDLWLW Hello Scunny  |
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| louth_in_the_south |
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 Exile Posts: 4,105
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Location: Forest Row
Approval: +5,671
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Being allowed to walk into Eastbourne Borough with a six pack of kronenbourg . 👍👍🍺🍺
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| Lower F5 |
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| Perkins |
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Fine Wine Drinker  Posts: 1,412
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Location: Grimsby
Approval: +1,986
Gold Stars: 7
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| sutton mariner |
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Exile
Posts: 2,400
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Approval: +1,135
Gold Stars: 49
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| HistonMariner |
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Lager Top Drinker Posts: 249
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Location: Cambridge
Approval: +553
Gold Stars: 13
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Have left a PM but to reiterate - there might be or might not be some material on http://WWW.redlion-Histon.com - at least there maybe some reminders that provoke ideas or memories of those 'glorious years'. You can just google, Histon Mariners, but beware you do feature, usually photographed from your best side. My most prominent memories (good or bad) include Barnet, Guisley, Histon, Macclesfield (Boxing Day), Welling, Braintree (several times) and Southport.. Good Luck and UTMM. |
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| Hagrid |
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Posts: 11,981
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Rep Score: +49 / -21
Approval: +20,374
Gold Stars: 532
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always enjoyed alfreton
waiting 3 hours in the ground for the team bus to arrive, I think we were trending on twitter as coachwatch
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| Sussexmariner |
| November 5, 2019, 10:14am |
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 Table Wine Drinker Posts: 711
Posts Per Day: 0.12
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Rep Score: +4 / -2
Location: freezing my bollocks off on Gatwick runway
Approval: +618
Gold Stars: 18
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Standing in the home end at halftime at Eastbourne and watching a Dad and his little boy pull out a large disposable BBQ and start cooking some sausages.
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| Are we any closer to getting promoted since Hurst has been here? No
Has he been given time to achieve promotion by the chairman and fans? Yes
Hurst out |
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| TownSNAFU5 |
| November 5, 2019, 12:15pm |
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Vodka Drinker  Posts: 5,969
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Rep Score: +30 / -21
Location: York
Approval: +6,871
Gold Stars: 42
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I can believe all these stories about dead foxes in the toilets, HT BBQs on the terraces, piles of manure outside the away end and being let out at HT to go to a pub.
However, it is a stretch to believe that a team in NL (and a Championship team just over 10 years before) still has a wooden stand built in 1903. They would never call this their Main Stand would they? 😟
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| FishOutOfWater |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 12,828
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Approval: +6,563
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This away day at Kettering in our first season down there.... some home youths were laughably "giving it large" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AKrSBFU7s0The "funniest" thing that day though was probably a Rob Duffy header that he somehow managed to put wide of a gaping open goal, though fortunately we did manage to get the win ( for Dave Moore as this was after Woods sacking & before Scott & Hurst had come in ) |
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| LH |
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 ModeratorPosts: 11,472
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Reputation: 71.54%
Rep Score: +30 / -13
Approval: +18,492
Gold Stars: 173
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I can believe all these stories about dead foxes in the toilets, HT BBQs on the terraces, piles of manure outside the away end and being let out at HT to go to a pub.
However, it is a stretch to believe that a team in NL (and a Championship team just over 10 years before) still has a wooden stand built in 1903. They would never call this their Main Stand would they? 😟
Think of it that we were 110 years ahead of FGRs new stadium idea. |
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| AussieMariner |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 910
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Reputation: 77.64%
Rep Score: +13 / -4
Location: Leeds
Approval: +2,072
Gold Stars: 31
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I used to follow Romford in the Southern League back in the 60s
We often had long coach trips to places like Yeovil and this was when drinking loads of urine on the coach was obligatory. The obvious solution was a bucket and on one trip it became particularly full on the way back as some of the guys had been indulging in copious quantities of Scrumpy. So it wasn’t just urine but a fair amount of puke mixed in.
Anyway it needed emptying and the obvious solution was to chuck it out of the hatch thing in the top of the coach. Unfortunately there was another one just a bit further back.....
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| arryarryarry |
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Barley Wine Drinker Posts: 10,251
Posts Per Day: 1.71
Reputation: 52.76%
Rep Score: +26 / -28
Approval: +10,039
Gold Stars: 116
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I used to follow Romford in the Southern League back in the 60s
We often had long coach trips to places like Yeovil and this was when drinking loads of urine on the coach was obligatory. The obvious solution was a bucket and on one trip it became particularly full on the way back as some of the guys had been indulging in copious quantities of Scrumpy. So it wasn’t just urine but a fair amount of puke mixed in.
Anyway it needed emptying and the obvious solution was to chuck it out of the hatch thing in the top of the coach. Unfortunately there was another one just a bit further back.....
Drinking loads of urine was obligatory? Was it Granville Tours? |
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| AussieMariner |
| November 6, 2019, 10:14pm |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 910
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Rep Score: +13 / -4
Location: Leeds
Approval: +2,072
Gold Stars: 31
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Drinking loads of urine was obligatory?
Was it Granville Tours?
It was an Essex thing Or maybe that flipping spell correction bullshit |
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| Civvy at last |
| November 6, 2019, 10:31pm |
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Posts: 11,467
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Reputation: 74.47%
Rep Score: +36 / -13
Approval: +12,204
Gold Stars: 131
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It was an Essex thing
Or maybe that flipping spell correction bullshit
Or maybe it was just Fosters. |
| The wife was going away for a girly weekend. I jokingly remarked 'I don't know whether to spend it watching porn or watching football' 'you may as well spend it watching porn' she replied That's understanding darling what makes you say that? I asked She said 'Well you already know how to play football' |
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| KingstonMariner |
| November 6, 2019, 11:07pm |
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Meths Drinker Posts: 22,096
Posts Per Day: 6.07
Reputation: 79.33%
Rep Score: +42 / -11
Approval: +23,440
Gold Stars: 218
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Or maybe it was just Fosters.
Aussie currency traders wouldn't give a forex for any other lager. OK, I'll get my slouch hat. |
| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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| Heisenberg |
| November 6, 2019, 11:37pm |
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Brandy Drinker Posts: 2,585
Posts Per Day: 0.80
Reputation: 85.11%
Rep Score: +9 / -1
Approval: +5,029
Gold Stars: 93
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This away day at Kettering in our first season down there.... some home youths were laughably "giving it large" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AKrSBFU7s0The "funniest" thing that day though was probably a Rob Duffy header that he somehow managed to put wide of a gaping open goal, though fortunately we did manage to get the win ( for Dave Moore as this was after Woods sacking & before Scott & Hurst had come in )
Some town fans seems to pine for those days to come back, but I honestly think the majority of us would seriously have to consider turning our backs on the club, and possibly football altogether, if we went non league again. Dark, dark days. |
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| Rik e B |
| November 7, 2019, 12:36am |
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 Whiskey Drinker  Posts: 3,562
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Rep Score: +20 / -3
Location: Mingmong
Approval: +3,916
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Barton Town away pre-season at half time; the dressing room window left open which opened onto the terraces and a few dozen Mariners fan's huddled round in silence with the smirks of naughty schoolchildren as we evesdropped Rob Scott giving player's pelters 😂
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| Ashby mariner |
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Lager Top Drinker Posts: 330
Posts Per Day: 0.12
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Rep Score: +1 / -2
Approval: +471
Gold Stars: 8
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I can still remember how good the Eastleigh fans where when we beat them in the playoffs at BP. They where still singing long after the full time whistle.
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| buckstown |
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Champagne Drinker Posts: 2,451
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Welling Utd away, stood on an open terrace behind the goal with my son, daughter and two grandsons for the first half. Around half time it started raining so I decided to take a seat in the tiny stand along the side. There was a young lad "guarding" the entrance, sitting on the bottom step as I walked up and the conversation went:-
Him: "It's a pound for a seat"
Me: "OK, there you go"
Him: "Cheers"
Me: "Do I need a ticket to show I've paid"
Him: "Yep"
Me: After a short pause "give us one then"
Him: "Ive run out"
Now you don't get conversation of that quality in the Premier League
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| Garth |
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 Season Ticket Holder Posts: 11,493
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Welling Utd away, stood on an open terrace behind the goal with my son, daughter and two grandsons for the first half. Around half time it started raining so I decided to take a seat in the tiny stand along the side. There was a young lad "guarding" the entrance, sitting on the bottom step as I walked up and the conversation went:-
Him: "It's a pound for a seat"
Me: "OK, there you go"
Him: "Cheers"
Me: "Do I need a ticket to show I've paid"
Him: "Yep"
Me: After a short pause "give us one then"
Him: "Ive run out"
Now you don't get conversation of that quality in the Premier League
He was probably there to watch the match like you, and decided to make a bit of cash on the side |
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| AussieMariner |
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Table Wine Drinker Posts: 910
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Location: Leeds
Approval: +2,072
Gold Stars: 31
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Aussie currency traders wouldn't give a forex for any other lager. OK, I'll get my slouch hat.
It’s pronounced forex but spelt XXXX Kingston. Apparently named as such because Queenslanders can’t spell beer (or p1ss). |
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| pen penfras |
| November 7, 2019, 12:10pm |
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It’s pronounced forex but spelt XXXX Kingston. Apparently named as such because Queenslanders can’t spell beer (or p1ss).
Well, I liked the joke even if it is a bit niche |
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| Abdul19 |
| November 7, 2019, 12:19pm |
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Well, I liked the joke even if it is a bit niche
Yes, it brought an AUDible chuckle from myself. |
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| FishOutOfWater |
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Barton Town away pre-season at half time; the dressing room window left open which opened onto the terraces and a few dozen Mariners fan's huddled round in silence with the smirks of naughty schoolchildren as we evesdropped Rob Scott giving player's pelters 😂
I remember that happening at Ferriby.... we were getting the run around and Scott really let rip! Maybe he repeated this at Barton too? |
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| Perkins |
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I went to both games. I remember it happening at Ferriby but dont remember it at Barton. Could've happened though, typical Scott.
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| Rik e B |
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I remember that happening at Ferriby.... we were getting the run around and Scott really let rip!
Maybe he repeated this at Barton too?
Or maybe my memory less than perfect and got my tinpot Humber grounds mixed up 🤔 |
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| Rik e B |
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Or maybe any less than perfect seal on a dressing room and Scott's bellowing heard loud and far 🤔
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| Ashby mariner |
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Looking back at our conference days we always had good strikers at that level. Bogel, Hearn, Connel, Amond. I wouldn't want to be I. The conforence again but it was good being a big team mostly near the top half and visiting some old fashioned grounds where we use to have more supporters than the home team.
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| grimsby pete |
| November 8, 2019, 10:42am |
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I can not remember which ground but the time a town fan was rolled down the terraces in a rubbish bin, think it went viral.
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| Over 36 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
68 Years following the Town
Life member of Trust
First game April 1955
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| FishOutOfWater |
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I can not remember which ground but the time a town fan was rolled down the terraces in a rubbish bin, think it went viral.
I believe it was at Southport Pete The poor lad who gave everyone such a laugh has sadly passed away since....Lewis Sewell RIP |
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| grimsby pete |
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I believe it was at Southport Pete The poor lad who gave everyone such a laugh has sadly passed away since....Lewis Sewell RIP
Sadly forgot that, was his funeral attended by hundreds of his friends and family as I seem to recall it was.? |
| Over 36 years living in Suffolk but always a mariner.
68 Years following the Town
Life member of Trust
First game April 1955
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| Rik e B |
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Wouldn't want to stick about there long but some cracking away days were to be had, novel at least at first with close-quarters homely friendly stadia. Up close and personal with player's it seemed, could hear their chatter and easily get under skin of keepers who seemed to want to join in the banter unlike their more professional counterparts.
And Kidderminsters grub. 🤤 Had a cottage pie and immediately salivated for more, lady said last couple so I cleared them out then felt a tad guilty witnessing the expressions of devastation on the queuing Mariners who one by one discovered they were all gone. A few scowls over my way as I troughed away near the counter 😬
Sure the currys were equally divine though...
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| KingstonMariner |
| November 8, 2019, 10:10pm |
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Talking about goalkeepers, Hayes and Yeading was the only place I’ve been threatened by a player’s dad.
Their GK was called Bullmer so I shouted some comment about him being as shite as his cider. Then up pops this no-necked bald-headed Scouser “eh, dats my la dat is, I’ll knock ya fooochhhin blochhh off if you say dat again.”
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| Through the door there came familiar laughter,
I saw your face and heard you call my name.
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser,
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same. |
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 WOZOFGRIMSBY |
| November 8, 2019, 10:34pm |
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On the bus back from Eastleigh to the town centre, we suddenly realised they had cctv onboard that was being played on monitors around said bus
We located one, obviously started the pulling of funny faces etc until some bright spark brought up xhamster on an iPhone 5 and...........
Porn around the bus in glorious technicolor
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| Rose is on fire
And your scotch eggs are fu(king vile |
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| Mariner16 |
| November 9, 2019, 12:57am |
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On the bus back from Eastleigh to the town centre, we suddenly realised they had cctv onboard that was being played on monitors around said bus
We located one, obviously started the pulling of funny faces etc until some bright spark brought up xhamster on an iPhone 5 and...........
Porn around the bus in glorious technicolor
Guilty! |
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| WOZOFGRIMSBY |
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Guilty!
I didn't want to name shame Great weekend though |
| Rose is on fire
And your scotch eggs are fu(king vile |
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