Potential Stadium Manager vacany

Hi folks,

It’s been brought to my attention over the last few days that there could be an opening for stadium manager appearing within the great club of Grimsby Town.

If so I would definitely be interested in the post and thought I would get a feel for the demographic prior to going to the ‘Big Man’ himself.

Let me introduce myself, I am D. Nale, whose dream it is to one day run a stadium as if I were running a 2 bob circus.

I would describe myself as a cross between an out of shape Phil Mitchell and Ronnie Corbett and I liken my people skills to that of Ben Stiller’s character in Dodgeball , White Goodman, though not quite as funny.

I feel to be a success in the role you need to be seen to strut around like a failed bouncer and be totally unapproachable 99% of the time. On the odd occasion interaction is required with the fan base I have mastered the ‘Mockney Accent’ which allows me to sound like a third rate extra in a Danny Dyer gangster flick, which would hopefully have the desired effect of sounding very hard and scary to the uninitiated.

My approach to the match day would be to work on a shoestring and hope for the best, and if on the very rare occasion this scenario were to lead to disorder, I would retreat to the sanctuary of my office leaving the highly untrained stewards to try to contain it whilst I conjured up scapegoats for the media ensuring the club and its hierarchy are blameless.

I believe pre-season is a great time to bring the fans within the stadium and lay on entertainment in the way of open days etc., these also offer the opportunity to get the media involved and promote the club to the masses. Not one to miss an opportunity, whilst the media were here I would use them to promote my own vision of how the club and in particular the fans are portrayed whereby I could instill fear into the public and in doing so elevate my own status and worthiness to the club.

My experience for the role is very limited, having previously worked only as an advisor for match day stewarding at FGR, Stevenage and Barnet, though my enthusiasm is there for all to see. In my spare time I honed my club/fan interface skills under the mentorship of Karl Oysten at Blackpool.

Regards
D. Nale

PS.
Having just read a recent article on your current stadium manager it appears he is doing a great job and I feel it is highly unlikely the post will become available anyway

Dear Mr Nale,

We thank you for the interest but we must point out we have a very toxic and spoiled fanbase and in the event of a vacancy we would only consider applicants who have a degree in chemical awareness to help us combat this.

We have tried using reason by yelling SHUT UP at one of our popular fans forums but we were met with hostility by the ungrateful hordes.

That clearly demonstrates how out of touch the fans are with stark reality and PS where you any good with lego I want some advise on a stadium build?

What worries me is the calibre of the other candidates interviewed who did not not get the job when Mr Dale was appointed.

Surely, they could not have all been worse?

If one or all of them were more-suited to the position, and not  appointed, then selecting  Mr Dale is even more disastrous.  Oh dear.

Not having an open recruitment campaign is (or was) equally dire.  You reap what you sow.

Someone has way too much time in their hands..

The kids summer holidays are in full swing.

Quoted from TownSNAFU5

What worries me is the calibre of the other candidates interviewed who did not not get the job when Mr Dale was appointed.

Surely, they could not have all been worse?

If one or all of them were more-suited to the position, and not  appointed, then selecting  Mr Dale is even more disastrous.  Oh dear.

Not having an open recruitment campaign is (or was) equally dire.  You reap what you sow.

Thats the point jobs at the club are never advertised.

Dear Mr Nale

Thank you for your application. At the moment we do not have a vacancy and I note you cannot even spell it anyway

Quoted from Ipswin

Dear Mr Nale

Thank you for your application. At the moment we do not have a vacancy and I note you cannot even spell it anyway

Swin

You forgot to sign it GTFC customer relations officer

Quoted from 1mickylyons

Swin

You forgot to sign it GTFC customer relations officer

Not yet mate not yet, I only jut applied for the vacany

Quoted from Ipswin

Dear Mr Nale

Thank you for your application. At the moment we do not have a vacancy and I note you cannot even spell it anyway

Given the current standards of the Board and off field management at the moment, I doubt that this would be a setback to any applicant 😕

Did we establish if he did the telegraph disaster on his own accord or was it authorised by the club ??

Quoted from dapperz fun pub

Did we establish if he did the telegraph disaster on his own accord or was it authorised by the club ??

I believe we are waiting for the club to confirm...  

I have put my application in and I am confident I will be successful when I include Swin as my PR man.

Quoted from grimsby pete

I have put my application in and I am confident I will be successful when I include Swin as my PR man.

I can imagine the interview now.

'So Pete, before we start, did you remember to lock your car door when you came in?'

'Yes'

'You've got the job.'

Quoted from KingstonMariner

I can imagine the interview now.

'So Pete, before we start, did you remember to lock your car door when you came in?'

'Yes'

'You've got the job.'

Until Swin answer course he fooking has he 's not stupid.

Quoted from grimsby pete

I have put my application in and I am confident I will be successful when I include Swin as my PR man.

Mr Fenty might say on interview, don't ring us, we will ring you, but you never know