Don't mess around with me i've seen fighting in Nam ( Tottenham )

Not a great start.

Lennel John Lewis

Did you use your blackbelt in origami?

ph sacked for looking in a cigarette machine for 10 players?

excellent, a thread where my amazing jokes will be appreciated!

Why would Dracula be no good in goal?














Cos he's a fictional character and doesnt fking exist !!







Or if you prefer........cos he is scared of crosses

i heard we are signing Jesus in goal !
















apparently he is really good with crosses  :o

Why are Hull City AFC like a three pin plug?














They are both useless in Europe .....

What do you call a girl who stands between the goalposts and stops the ball rolling away?













Annette

Quoted from Les Brechin

What do you call a girl who stands between the goalposts and stops the ball rolling away?












Annette

That's the best so far Les.

I have got some good news and some bad news,

Bad news -   I am suffering with short term memory loss in my old age,

Good news -- Town are still in the championship ( L1 in those days )

The other night I saw 3 Lincoln city fans playing football with hedgehogs, I was going to phone the RSPCA, but noticed the Hedgehogs were winning 3-0. ;)

What's the difference between Grimsby Town and a compass?  ;D

Quoted from pizzzza

What's the difference between Grimsby Town and a compass?  ;D

A compass has a minimum of 4 points

What's red and green and lies in the gutter....



































Wounded snot.......

Not a joke but this was actually a headline in the Business column
of the 'i Newspaper' yesterday.

"John Lewis has sights on opticions"



All our problems solved......

Young lad from Afghanistan comes on with 10 minutes left for his Premiership debut with his team losing 2-0 and scores a hat-trick to win the game.

Straight after in the dressing room he decides to ring his Mum to tell her how he's just got on. It's alright for you says his Mum, it's a nightmare here, your Dad's just been shot, your sister raped and there's gunshots and explosions going on outside all the time.

Well said the lad, you can't really complain, you wanted the family to move with me to Liverpool!

Tough game for Grimsby Town tomorrow...







...Football

Gateshead fc. is like on old bra, no cups and very little support.

2 flys playing football in a saucer.

One says to the other - 'I'm looking forward to next week - we're playing in the cup'.

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when Scunthorpe win the premier league."
"You crafty sod!" said the fairy.

Quoted from Jarmo.Is.God

i heard we are signing Jesus in goal !

apparently he is really good with crosses  :o

Because Jesus saves?

When Paul Hurst started to discuss tactics, some of the team thought he was talking about a new kind of peppermint  :B
     

Oscar Pistorias has sacked his defence team & replaced them with Celtic management team.

It's because it's the first time that some one has lost two legs & still won.

Quoted from mimma

Oscar Pistorias has sacked his defence team & replaced them with Celtic management team.

It's because it's the first time that some one has lost two legs & still won.

;D  ;D  ;D love it

I've applied for the England manager's job.

I know I won't get it, but it keeps the dole people off my back for another couple of weeks.

My mate made the mistake of applying for the Crystal Palace job.

He's got to go for an interview on Monday.

Gateshead.  

nice trawl through the aldershot board, making fishy jokes, especially like the hatton hat trick bit ;)

http://www.shotsweb.co.uk/mb/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=37308

Dele Adebola but he's alright now.  ;)

Quoted from Les Brechin

Dele Adebola but he's alright now.  ;)

They're good them plastic tents :)